My Fear of Failure

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Connie

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I guess a little about me I'm 33 almost 34 female and I live in Ontario, Canada. I can say with a great degree of certainty I don't remember much of anything before the year I turned nine so in a way maybe I can say in lot of ways that when I felt I really was awake to the World for the first time. I mean that year I guess I was starting to have more Tonic-Clonic Seizures and after a seizure that summer of 1982 I was diagnosed. And through test much of the reason of why I was being held back already in Kindergarten and Grade 1 was made sense to everyone the test of the EEG revealed that before the larger seizres started happening that on a daily bases I was likely having as many Absence seizures as 20 to 30 a day. So short story I was diagnosed with Epilepsy and I was put on Depakene and except for a six month period of time when my Neurologist at the time took me off the medication in 1986 to see if I'd out grown it as you can probably guess by me being here that didn't happen for long six months later a relapsed and returned to taking the medication and I've been on it ever since. I think my problems has not been Epilepsy so much in itself it been my fears of social rejection and fear that if I tried something and I didn't automatically succeed it would always mean failure. So I let anxiety for awhile keep me from moving ahead but know I'm tyrying to move past my fears that if something doesn't succed that I can't be a successful full person and that it would make me be what I'd hate to be a victim. So I'm trying to not let my fear of things that might go wrong keep me from trying anymore
 
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WELCOME CONNIE : NICE MEETING YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can say is fear will stop you all the time. You need to change your mode of thinking!

I was diagnosed at 11 yrs old after a grand mal in school . I believe I had absences szs before that went undiagnosed . My family and Dr convinced me life went on and epilpesy wasn't an excuse . My dad worked as a pressmen and he got his fingers chopped off when I was 3 if not younger . He stayed home and recouperated than went for physical therapy and the dr gave him a choice , disability or return to work. My dad went back to work. I come from a home of determined ,strong pple we supported each other. Whatever challenges we faced ,we faced them with a good ,strong ,positive attitude. Never give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to give you what my family and Dr gave em when I was diagnosed.
I have worked , , travlled to Isreal ,moved from NYC to MTL.Que,got married , owned acatering business in MTL,moved back to NYC to care for my dad . Than moved to Portland OR. HIked , swam, cycled and enjoyed my life to best of my ability!!!!!!

To me LIfe is about living it to the fullest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ran out of meds in Portland ,Or went with the lay of the land and saw a homeopathy dr for the epilepsy and never looked back . Its 2 yrs I am using homeopathy for the epilepsy .5 weeks ago became toxic on the last tab of mysoline I was on so I started the Gard diet and dropped the mysoline and never looked back . I am aed free at 51 yrs old and never been happier!!!!!!!!! If you would like to ask me questions about the diet or homeopathy feel free to PM or post on the board!!!!! If I can enocurage you in anyway
to live your life to the fullest I would be happy too!!!!!!!
Riva
 
:hello: Connie!

One of the greatest fear is fear
itself!

If you allow fear to consume you
then you've lost! It's easy to become
discouraged, frustrated, scared, feel
overwhelmed, and trapped. I know, I
feel this way myself at times - but I
also have to realize I put my mindset
into that position, so I have to refocus
my mindset on something else. Apathy
will get you nowhere! You do not need
to have Epilepsy to be wallowing in the
sea of Fear - there are tons of people
who dwells in this who have nothing
wrong with them!

The main thing is - REFOCUS YOUR
FOCUS! If you're mind is focusing on
this perspective, then it's time to change
it to focus on something else. It's easier
said than done. Just think like a toddler
learning how to walk, you will fall down,
struggle, mis-step along the way, take
a few bangs; but soon - By George! You've
got it made! You've finally learned how to
train your mind to refocus!

Instead of focusing on the negativity,
focus on the positive perspective.

Instead of hearing about the negative
atmosphere influence, change it to a
more positive influence.

They say "You are what you eat", I
say, "You are what you think!"

Stop and think about it - it doesn't matter
if you are healthy or ill. This applies to
everyone!

This is NOT a one time issue, this is
something that needs to be done on a
daily basis, just like you take your meds
on a daily basis.
 
me too

Yeah, I know fear of failure. For some reason, (I get into trouble if I quote the passage from this book) I was taunted in school, because I had absence seizures. Even my younger sister particpated in this. I was also thrown in with the mentally challenged (retards) because I was labled as a failure.
While I still have this fear, and am still taunted by idiots (my general knowledge iq is 142) I am challenging myself. perhaps not in ways that everyone else would do, but I do take risks to learn something new. The idea is to keep the brain stimulated and growing. Try puzzles, or take a class. Try learning something that you might be interested in. Its not easy if you have been repeatedly told that you are a failure. Don't accept it. But don't stress either.
Take care of yourself with rest, water, and good nutrition.
 
Hi Shelley, welcome to the forum. :hello:
 
Hi Shelly : Welcome to the board !!!!!!!!! Nice meeting you !!!!!!


I use homeopathy and the Gard diet,if you would like info on either feel free to contact me thru the board or PM.


Nice Meeting YOU
Riva
 
Hi Connie,
Welcome to a place that I like to call my safe place. Here I can vent, ask questions (where no one will laugh at me), share my stories about my 19 yr. old son, and get suggestions and opinions from the "experts". That's everyone who is experiencing seizures or has a friend/loved one who has epilepsy.
Marian
 
Welcome Connie,
It can be so hard to get past that fear, but we can. If you fail at something, you can try again, or try something else. You can have a successful life, just brace yourself emotionally for any setbacks the seizures cause. Think "can do", the seizures may put a dent in your plans at times but they won't keep you from doing what you want.
At one point, when I was having several seizures a day, it kept me from going to college. No problema. Through disabled student services, I made arrangements to do my classwork at home. Being at home turned out very good. I had no distractions and all the time I needed to study [in between seizures] and finished the semester on the honor roll.
Have you tried the diet Riva mentioned? My seizure frequency went down a lot when I stopped using gluten and lactose [milk products]. This link is to a relaxation exercise that is posted online. It may help you diffuse anxiety when it creeps up on you.
http://www.counsel.ufl.edu/brochure.asp?include=brochures/relaxation_exercise.brochure

Take care,
Zoe
 
I am hearing more and more about this gluten and milk free products diet where people are getting their seizures more under control. I would think it would be very difficult however I do undersand and am all for trying new things. I would like to suggest this to my son but would need some ideas of things he could eat before i bring the subject up.
Marian
 
Hi Marian: Lets see I eat chicken, seafood ,Lamb, eggs, meat, fish, tuna, sardines , salads, fruits, veggies.

You can make flourless cakes ,buy gluten free waffless or pancake mix, or gluten free
bread at the health food store.

That should give you a good idea of how much is available.

Eating out can be restircted because of the soya oil , and soya products

Riva
 
POSITIVEPERSON,
Thanks for the suggestions. I am going to spend some time on Friday and make a list of foods to buy this weekend. I think I will just change my ways at home and go gluten free. This way there will be plenty of things available for him to eat. I'm really tired now,we had Back to School Night at my school. I'm a Sepcial Ed. teacher for Severely Emotionally Disturbed High School students. I will check in tomorrow as we have Friday off. It's a make up day on the calendar in case we missed school for any hurricanes.
Marian
 
Marian,
Most health food stores now carry gluten free breads too. It is quite easy to make your own gluten free flours, including nut flours, like almond, and bean flours, which are very nutritious. A lot of the larger grocery stores now also carry some of the gluten free flours, though it is much, much cheaper, and fresher to make them yourself. I have a vita-mix, but a small electric coffee grinder works fine when I want to make a small batch. Just grind about a half cup of beans, nuts, or whatever you choose, and sift any particles out when you are done. It only takes a couple of cups of flour to make a loaf of bread. Or, I often make my gluten free bread like a heavy pan cake. The round bread is delicious, easy to store, and after refrigerating, can be put in the toaster to heat it and soften it up for round sandwiches.
Zoe
If your son tries the gluten free diet, give it a couple of months at least. There are plenty of foods he and you can eat and snack on, so it isn't too difficult. If you want my recipe for gluten free peanut butter cookies just say so and I'll send it on. :)
Zoe
 
Hi Zoe: I guess I should suggest the baking I am a trained chef. But since I burned out
I rarely cook and don't suggest it to anyone ,thou I still have my huge collection of recipes.

On the Gard diet we are not allowed peanuts .And beans after 6-8 months

I use to have the vita mix, I gave it to my brother when he had prostate problems.

Maybe we can exchange recipes.

Would be fun

Riva
 
It takes quite a few months before gluten is eliminated from the system, and a few weeks for casein.
It isn't as difficult as it seems. I personally would recommend watching soy products due to the levels of estrogen (neuro-excitor) and corn (genetically modified). All four of these are used to make industrial glues. Think Elmer's glue....Borden Dairy. They use to be one and the same company.
 
Hi Connie,

First of all, a big YAHHHHH to you for not giving up and hiding away. I understand completely the emotions of feeling like a failure or something that is broken, and therefore I felt I had to work harder to not make any mistakes. Anything not to highlight to the world my difference. However, I realised after awhile that it is more "abnormal" to not make mistakes, and to not show any vulneralbility. You will get people who are absolute jerks, but you will also find people who are absolute champions, and believe me it feels great to let all of them in, because you are being true to yourself.

cheers,
Yvette
 
It takes quite a few months before gluten is eliminated from the system, and a few weeks for casein.

When I adopted a vegan diet over 20 years ago, I lost the cravings/desire for meat within a month. It took over a year to lose the cravings/desire for cheese. Casein is very addictive IMO.
 
no cheese

I don't do cheese and most dairy, cuz I also have asthma, and its a trigger.
However, I do still eat meat.
 
Zoe,
When I told a few of my friends at work that I was going to transform my kitchen into a gluten free, and dairy free home I was quite shocked to find out how many other teachers have already been doing this. They passed along a web site and some authors of cookbooks that they especially like. Any websites you might want to share would truly be appreciated. I'm very excited to start this process, especially for our son.
Marian
 
(It takes quite a few months before gluten is eliminated from the system, and a few weeks for casein.)
This isn't so much of a concern, but what is casein?
Marian
 
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