unsure

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crybabie

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I'm ashamed to say that I'm almost 43 yrs. old and have not accomplished anything. maybe because I'm wearing my feelings on my shoulder and people can see it a mile away. I can't keep friends because I'm misunderstood and nobody understands my language. (so I'm told) they tell me to grow up. but nobody bothers to lead the way, they are mighty good at pointing out my faults and and bad habits along with the way I should act, without a loving shoulder to cry on, no hugs anywhere to be found. "I love you' is not in there vocabulary, nor is I'm sorry to be found either. I'm finding it harder and harder each day I breathe to cope or deal with , for my emotions are so overwhelming. I pray everyday and ask God to take these bad feelings away, but they are still there. I want them to go away because they are destroying my life and I don't know of happiness. heard of it, I believe it exist! I do... I believe in true love, though I've never met him. I try so hard to be a good person...I just am too emotional. sorry so long guys, but I really hurt and just wanted to cry again. plz. pray 4 me. ty..
 
Hi Crybabie

Welcome to CWE

I have just been reading your profile and you have the same type of seizures as me, 'Petit Mal', I am so sorry you are having such a tough time of it, but I totally understand where you are coming from, they are difiicult to live with, they can be very embarrassing, I have up to 50 a day.

On a bad seizure day, they leave my confidence shattered and wanting to hide up from the world. But I have a good job which leaves me unable to do so and I have to push myself to continue and just get on with it.

I have issues also with family and friends, I don't like people to see me having seizures as there is no understanding from them. My family get very frustrated by them, they either act like they don't exist or shout at me for having them, I also get no hugs. My friends do not know that I have seizures and I prefer to keep it that way, I have found people to react badly to seizures in the past, so these days I just keep them to myself.

My job requires a good vocabulary, which I have and I am fine when typing, but sometimes I get stumped when I am talking aloud in meetings or too my managers, I can never find the word that I want to say.

You are not alone in how you are feeling, I know that it is easier said then done but you need to get into a positive state of mind, this will help you no end.

Could it be your medication making you so emotional? what medication are you on? have you spoken to your doctor?

Anyway once again welcome, we are a friendly group and there is a lot of information to be had on this site. There is a padded room if you ever want to vent and everybody here will always listen and offer a shoulder to cry on.

Don't worry you post isn't very long

Take Care

The Crazy Monkey
 
Thank you crazy Monkey for your reply. I haven't seen a dr. since I turned 18 yrs. old because they wanted to use me as a guinea pig with my moms consent not mine. I dislike pills very much.
 
So you are currently not taking any medication for your seizures????
 
Welcome,
we all can be pretty emotional. Perhaps going to a doctor would be a good first step. It's hard to have a plan until you know all the options. There are a lot of information on here about neurofeedback, diet etc. I hate pills too, but they are really helping with my seizures, plus now I am on Keppra XR which means I only take them once a day.
Do you have any pets. My dogs are my the greatest! Talk about love!
Do you attend church? In the past few years, I finally found a church that makes a real difference with my emotions.
J
 
Welcome CB - I hope you can find some information here at CWE to help your situation.
 
Hi CB.. Welcome to CWE. I hope you find some information that can be helpful to you.
 
I am so sorry for that horrendous treatment. That is downright awful. If you feel lonely, right now you are welcomed and understood by many people in here who have experienced some of the same issues.

My personality is rather feisty. I was not always this way, but along the way, I knew treatment was not fair and I am not afraid to tactfully tell somebody where to go. Personally, my medication has completely controlled my seizures. Also, it did seem to coincide with my Lamictal medication and/or acquisition of a great border collie companion. We de-stress every night with a good long walk.

I did not know exercise was a stress buster until I acquired this dog. I am now finding out that exercise releases some stress hormones and clears my mind of any bad issues from the day. It you haven't done a daily routine of exercise, I highly recommend it.

Medications can be nasty to say the least. I am on Mysoline and Lamictal and I am very careful of what I eat now. There are so many seizure trigger factors in one's diet and environment. I am hoping you find the right combination of treatment for your seizure disorder. Personally, I have felt like a guinea pig with experimentation of anti-seizure medications until the right dosages and meds were found.

It seems that stress like you are personally experiencing is a major factor. A major exam by a good physician with a complete blood count and drug levels, if you are taking them, is a definite recommendation.

We are not professional counselors, but some areas have toll-free phone numbers where you can also vent your frustrations verbally as well.
 
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Hi crybabie, welcome to the forum. :hello:

... I'm finding it harder and harder each day I breathe to cope or deal with ...

Have you ever sought out a psych doctor to work through these issues?

... I haven't seen a dr. since I turned 18 yrs. old because they wanted to use me as a guinea pig with my moms consent not mine. I dislike pills very much.

For 25 years, you've sworn off all doctors because of one experience? Doctors are people too - there are good ones and bad ones just as there are with all walks of life. I'd encourage you to start looking for a good doctor who will listen to you and work with you.

Don't put yourself on an island. :twocents:
 
:cheers:

Welcome to our house. I hope you feel at home here. Plenty of hugs to go around, because most of us have been where you are for at least part of our lives.

In addition to seeking medical advice like others have said, try to look at things in the short term. Try to have a good morning, afternoon, or evening each day. If it doesn't work, don't be disappointed, just try again the next day. Remember short term.

After you start having good parts of the day, try to extend it to full days. You will probably still have bad days, but soon the good may start to outnumber the bad and life will be better.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
 
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