Bully strikes again

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tinasmom

tinasmom

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Today, my step-daughter was punched in the face giving her a bloody nose and knocked unconscious by the girl that has been bullying her at school. This actually was a set-up by more than one person. One person announced that my step-daughter was coming down the hall, another girl stepped in front of her to block her while the bully came from around the corner and punched her. The first punch only knocked her down and she got up and punched back. The second punch is the one that knocked her out. This girl was arrested and charged with assault. Needless to say, they won't tell us if this student will be allowed back into the school or not. We are told that they cannot discuss the consequences because it violates this students rights. Once again the system protects the wrong person. We are going to meet with the school board president, who had no idea this was going on, and the principal for sure. We also have requested that the assistant principal and a woman that I spoke with at the district be at this meeting. I have also contacted the paper again and requested to speak to a reporter.
 
Tina,
I've heard how bad it can be in schools but your right there protecting the wrong person.

You did the right thing since you're going to meet with school board president
and you've contacted the paper.
Do let us know if/when you hear from a reporter.

Bullies are all over the place in school and I know I had my share of them picking on me.


Belinda:twocents::agree:
 
Its gone way to far they need to sort that bully out now.
I hope they realise the best way is to expel her from school, and they need to deal with the group that assisted the in setup of bashing your step daughter.

I hope your step daughter will be feeling alright soon.
Best of luck in with the meeting.
 
:soap:

I wonder if the school is concerned with your step-daughter's rights and well being. Were they negligent in protecting her? I can't imagine how furious I would be if it were my child. I wish you all the best in resolving the situation.
 
I just cant believe it and am so sorry for your hardship. No one deserves this and shame on their parents. Make sure you don't back down and do not drop the charges. You have alerted enough school officials, for enough time to expect this to stop. Whatever happens from here on in may teach them to solve their own problems before others have to get involved. It would seem to me that your step daughters civil rights are being violated. Her right to a safe environment, free of harassment and bullying. Since you have alerted the school, you should look for a civil rights lawyer that will work for you. There is already Federal case law for a school failing to take action. They won millions of dollars as they did not do their job and protect that kid. Even IF you don't look into a lawyer alert them at the meeting that you know there is case law on this and if she is disabled as well, that could also be a violation of the disability act. That's ALOT of trouble for any school district. You really have done everything right. Hang in there and I hope you are victorious in your pursuit. I hope you are the one to open their eyes. HUgs to your step daughter.

I found this site.. maybe it will be helpful http://bullypolice.org/

http://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=5567

Provided by Law Office of Sara Powell - Personal Injury Attorney

Bullying in the school is one of the most harrowing experiences a child ever faces. As parents, we try to protect our children from these obstacles in life.

Bullying can present itself in different ways; physical, verbal, and indirect bullying. Approximately 350,000 school children are bullied every week, and between 16 - 20 children take their own lives due to being bullied.

The question is, when should you seek legal advice?

By law, schools are required to have an anti-bully policy written to ensure the safety of all children. If your child has been threatened, then the bully may be facing an offense of "Threatening Behavior". If your child has been sexually assaulted then the bully could be facing an offense of "Indecent Assault". If your child has been physically assaulted then the bully could face "Criminal Offense of Assault" charges.

From the "Protection from Harassment Act", there are two criminal offenses that could be applicable to the act of bullying. This entails both the offense of harassment and the offense of putting people in fear of violent acts. In this circumstance, prosecution cannot proceed unless the harassment has occurred on more then one occasion.

Another legal option if your child has been bullied is 'negligence'. Negligence may occur when the bullying resulted in severe physical and psychological damage supported by medical evidence. Any claim of negligence must be made within one year of occurrence, and any child under the age of ten cannot be prosecuted.

All forms of bullying are unacceptable and can cause unhappiness and long term effects on a child's self-esteem. If your child is showing signs of being bullied at school, they may be afraid of admitting to it for fear of retaliation by the bully, or fear of being teased by other children. Its important to assure your child that it is in his or her best interest to come forward when bullying is occurring. If you continue to suspect bulling may be occurring, but your child is still withholding, consider speaking with a school counselor or principle.

If your child has suffered an injury or mental anguish as a result of a bully at school, it is occasionally necessary to consult a lawyer to assure your child's well-being. Most lawyers will offer a free consultation and may even be able to tell you if you have legal recourse for dealing with a school bully.


joan*
 
You know what? my child is the bully. I do everything I can to make him a better child. He doesn't predict it. It is related to the seizures. I work with the school and the other parents. What would you think of that?
 
Bullies

are horrible people who will harass you at any age, and some even blame you while falsely stating that they are the victim.
 
really, I am still trying to figure out everything. Lennox Gastaut, sleep issues, epilepsy, you tell me. But I am a very good parent. He acts as a victim sometimes. I have been in a coma, he worries and takes it out at school. He has had counseling, still does, me too.He has been suspended.He tells me he does not want to be this way.I say try and talk to the family first.
 
you most likely have tried this Teresa... but I will offer this one.

What is he passionate about? Actually it has to be something he can be rewarded with daily. It can be a "part" of something larger that will come together after time.
But his teachers and perhaps the principal have to be in on this too. They have to reward him for being a good kid. Not just punished for being "bad". If they can break the day down into quarters. Morning before and after recess, afternoon, before and after recess. He gets a sticker for when he is not seen being a bully. Only focus on one issue at a time.

Then when he gets home, he is rewarded for 4 stickers. No punishment if he doesn't have all four. Let the school deal with the punishment. Losing recess or what ever they do. But you only reward for 4 stickers. Special time with you? Then when he has "X" number of stickers he gets to trade them in for ? (movie, legos, book, ...)

Sorry if you have tried it already...

Perhaps he needs a chat with a neighborhood police officer. He can tell him what it is like for bullies when they get older and mom isn't around to bail him out.
 
Laura - so sorry that your step daughter is having troubles again. I thought this was happening to Nicole. I was confused.

I too can imagine how angry I would be.
I fume for days about unkind words...
 
Teresa, Im sure its not the same thing. You are such an involved, proactive parent. There is a difference between someone having a problem, working on it and another plotting to beat another up. I would think? hope? that IF that girls parents had jumped in and sincerely punished her months ago, it wouldnt have escalated to this. Why does that girl feel its OK to hit another? planning it just evil. Im sure you are involved with your son and apologizing and working on it. That different than looking the other way and a parent giggling thinking its cute.

For me, Id think, if they can understand, turn the tables, How would they like it done to them? How would they feel? Kids dont develop empathy till they are older. My son came home one day in 3rd grade and mentioned the kids were picking on a boy at lunch. I asked him if he joined in? He said no but I still asked him how he thought that boy felt? and would he like it? Then I reminded him .. today that boy, tomorrow the kid with green eyes, the next day the blond. That his day would come too. Kids can be very mean, its our job to teach them right from wrong.

Also, many kids that act out have sensory processing disorders. Look into it, maybe it will help. ALso most bullies are feeling insecure, low self esteem, and over stimulated. Makes me kinda feel bad no ones dealing with "the bullies" issues as obviously shes having her own issues as well. BUt no one elses kid is her punching bag.

joan*
 
Teresa
We have had problems with my granddaughter, Nicole in the past with behavior problems due to meds. Nicolewas agressive towards other children a couple of years ago and since we decreased the meds, she has not had any agression towards others. This student that has been after my step daughter started by stalking her during the summer by showing up at her place of employment and harassing her and standing outside her mothers house yelling obscenities. After those incidents, my husband did talk with the family and it stopped until school started. She would stop for a while and then start back up again, each time becoming more agressive. I was hoping we were done with this when the police had to be involved the last time because the school officials wouldn't work with us.
 
Hi Laura! As a school teacher, I can understand where the school is coming from. It is standard practice for a school not to tell the other child involved, or the parents of the other child, what was done as punishment to the person that was aggressive. It is a matter of student confidentiality. If the school were to tell you what was done as punishment, then you might (not saying you would, but there are other parents that would) embarrass the aggressor by letting everyone in town know. Whereas this may seem horribly unfair, you have to remember that this rule will also protect your child if they ever do anything that gets them in trouble.

I can tell you, as an educational insider, that usually, an assault will end up with the aggressor being suspended. Unless, the student has a documented history, and had already been put on a contract of some sort. If they were on a contract, and they violated it, they can be removed from the school and placed in a different school. Expulsion usually only occurs under very dire circumstances such as dealing drugs in school, being caught with a weapon in school (the definition of weapon usually starts with brass knuckles and then moves on to knives with a blade more than 3 inches long and then to guns...although I've also seen administrators call pipes and other things weapons if they were used in a threatening manner. ) Now, you as the parent can press assault charges on the aggressor if you choose to. And, as the victims parent, I would definitely take an advocate with you to the meeting, and tell them it will be taped. Either video tape it or tape record it, just let them know ahead of time that it will be taped. Now.....just to let you know, if the district decides to play mean, they may suspend your child and say that the incident was "mutual combat". Their argument being that your child hit back. Remind the district that whereas the other student has a right to have their disciplinary measures kept confidential, your child has the right to attend school without being in fear for her life. Hope this helps.....
 
I'm very sorry Laura...

Bullies are a sore spot for me.
I am a pacifist-to-a-fault I guess (I'll describe in a sec) and I just can't even bring myself to imagine what would cause me to haul off and sock someone in the face unprovoked....much less a 'sucker-punch' approach that a coward would use. I'd be worried I'd really hurt someone and would regret it after the anger left me.

pacifist-to-a-fault -
A group of my high-school's bullies decided I needed to be singled out and picked on one summer. At football practice I figured out (too late) that I was the last one to the field...but was earlier than all the coaches? everyone else got the message I was going to fight this little guy who'd been bothering me for a couple of days. I'd been blowing him off, but apparently that didn't work.
The entire team surrounded us (like in a stupid movie) and he started his trash like a banty rooster. I told him I wasn't interested AGAIN.
He commenced to punching me. I tried to just walk away...remember, I didn't want to kill him, he was a little guy.
Someone tripped me from behind and I found myself on my back with this leprechaun on my chest beatin' my face........*sigh*
About the time my face started turning green and my shirt started ripping at the seams.......the stupid coaches showed up and threw us BOTH in the tank.

Hopefully, your step-daughter's bullies are just idiots who haven't grown up yet and will sprout a conscience.........if not, there is always comfort in the old adage "what goes around, comes around"......life will get better!

Peace,
Speber
:rock:
 
Ain't that the truth. As life would have it, most of the time what comes back around is because of their actions in the first place.....and it is not good. I've seen it happen alooooooooot of times from my school alone.

I was a very small guy myself, when I was in school. I got picked on my all the little abused bullies but, I had an advantage and that, for some reason that I have never known or found out about, the BIGGEST guys, that I did not even know, did not like the punks picking on me and let those punks know with no uncertain tones.

We always had alot of fire drills and such. It was usually then or gym class that it happened. But, in Intermediate, and High School, I had THE biggest guys catch almost every situation that happened to me and, many times, the one who left with a bloody, broken nose was the bully that started the fight in the first place. Do not ask me why.

To this very day, I still want to find those big guys and thank them.
 
I am doing what you say, I spent the day with him at school today. My mom to. It was his birthday. I think the bully idea is a good one. I will talk to his teacher.He goes thru phases. Hes in a behavior class. I'm not sure he belongs there. I know the cheif of police and he took alex for a day and talked to him about all of that. He has a mentor at school.He wants to have more friends but it is hard for him to communicate verbally, quickly.So instead he will push or yell. But if he is calm he is ok. quick triggers and seizures set these off.a;ogjgs;fh s;dgvf I'm going crazy.
 
PLease look at this website. I swear he sounds sensory processing disorder. IF he is, it is so fixable. Many kids with E have it. My 2 did. There are different types and different degrees. If you have already looked into this, please ignore me : )

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

I just want to send out a group hug to all.
joan*

stilldancing_98 said:
He wants to have more friends but it is hard for him to communicate verbally, quickly.So instead he will push or yell. But if he is calm he is ok.
Click to expand...
 
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Skillfer -
I understand the confidentiality issue. The last time we met with the Principal, he left both doors open during our entire conversation allowing everyone walking by to hear what was said. The Principal also refused to be tape recorded last time, stating that he didn't want the conversation to be taken out of context. I told him that tape recording would make sure nothing would be taken out of context and he still refused. They also could not guarantee my step-daughters safety from this bully. Fortunately, I have a paper trail of our last meeting and correspondences after the meeting. I am hoping that since the School Superintendent will be at this meeting, the Principal will act more professional.

This student has been in trouble at school previously and she is on probation. When this student started bullying my step-daughter, we were told that when they established a pattern of behavior, she would be reprimanded properly.
 
Ummm...have to tell your principal this, but he CAN'T refuse to have the meeting tape recorded. :) Or at least he can't in California. :) You can always tell him that either he can agree to a recorded meeting, or he can speak to your lawyer while you file a complaint with the state. That last threat usually works. :)
 
Or you can buy a mini voice activated recorder. They are very small and can fit in a pocket or purse.
 
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