Something Funny

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valeriedl

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What's something funny that's actually happened during your life or that you've done that will make someone laugh or at least put a smile on their face?

Getting 'The Talk' was a good one for me.

When I was around 12 years old I was going out for the evening with my dad. He drove about half way down the driveway then stopped the truck and put it in park. He looked over at me and said "Do you know about sex?" Now I'm a girl and the last person I'd be expecting getting 'The Talk' from was my dad. Very nervously I told him yes. He said "Good, Don't Have It." Then he put the truck in drive and we went on our way.
 
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I am trying to think of one. I know that I have had several that made people laugh or put a smile on their face.

Here's one, my father would make a joke. Only he and I understood what was funny about it. I would laugh and laugh. The rest of the family was wondering what we were laughing about.

:cheers:
 
Last week I went to the supermarket and in front of it tied up to an advertisement pillar a big dog was waiting for his boss to get out.
When a scooter drove by, the dog jumped because of the noise and it was really funny to watch him running into the store with the whole pillar behind him.
 
" Johnny's First Time ? "

"Johnny's First Time"

This story takes place in a small town in the middle of nowhere. A local guy named Johnny just turned sixteen. His older brothers and friends decided to take him out for a good time.
Johnny had a great time. The next day he was telling some other friends about it. Unfortunately they couldn't go with them. As Johnny was telling about the night out, his mother was working in the kitchen.
She was happy that Johnny enjoyed his night out.

But when the teens got excited and loud, she got curious. So she went near Johnny's room to find out what Johnny was saying. Oh, did she get an ear full.

Boys: Was she fast?
Johnny: She was a fast machine, her motor clean.

Johnny's Mother has a puzzled look on her face.

Boys: How did she look?
Johnny: She had the flawless trim, Knocking me out with those American Pipes.

Johnny's Mother now has a look of concern on her face.

Boys: How was the ride?
Johnny: Had me fighting for air, shaking. The earth was quaking, my mind was aching, yeah she shook me all night long!

Johnny's Mother now upset, rushes into Johnny's room to find out what happened last
night.

Johnny's Mother: Johnny, what did you exactly do last night? Did you have relations with a
girl?
Johnny: No, what makes you ask that?
Johnny's Mother: What you're talking about sounds like relations.
Johnny (laughs): I'm just telling about Rocco's car. He promised I could drive it when I got
my drivers license.
___________________________________________________________________________

Johnny's First Time Driving

She was a fast machine I kept her motor clean
She was the best damn auto that I ever seen
She had the flawless trim telling me no lies
Knocking me out with those American pipes
Taking more than her share
aceo9g.gif

Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
Cause the doors start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it
And she shook me all night long
Yeah she shook me all night long
254ve5f.gif

I'm working double time on the seduction line
She's one of a kind she's just mine all mine
Wanted no applause it's just another course
Made a meal outta me
And come back for more
Had to cool me down to take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing
Cause the doors were shaking the earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it
And she shook me all night long
Yeah she shook me all night long
Knocked me out I said she
Shook me all night long
She had me shaking and she
Shook me all night long
Yeah she shook me
When she took me
1j4vm0.gif

She really took me and she
Shook me all night long
She shook me all night long
Yeah, yeah, she shook me all night long
She really got me and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah she shook me
Yeah she shook me
All night long
 
This is a true story. Happened this week. I do housecleaning part time for extra $. Last month I picked up a new customer at the place where I clean for another lady. I went to his home at 7 am. He sticks his head out the door and says , "Oh, forgot you were coming. Let me get a towel." I come in and start cleaning and for the next hour he proceeds to tell me his life story, dressed in his towel. I figure, ok he's an old hippie and showing off. Finally, he gets dressed and we agree that I will come to clean once a month like I do for his neighbor. Sooo, this Wed. I go again. I called him on Tues. to remind him that I would be there. Arrive at 8, mop in one hand, bucket in another. Sticks his head out the door again and says, "Come on in." Runs into bedroom. I walk in, with the front door still open and yell to him, "Are you dressed." He is on the phone and I hear him telling the caller "Gotta go my housekeeper is here." So I yell, again "Are you dressed?" He answers, "Can you hand me my pants?"
I turned around and walked out the door and slammed it with, "I DON'T THINK SO"
Needless to say I will not be going back to this guy again.
All of my friends that I have told this to get a real kick out of it, even though it could be scary but the funny thing is, I never felt threatened. He is just a weirdo!
M
 
That's so funny marika! I can't stop laughing because all day long I've had this picture of you on your hands and knees scrubbing a house and a guy with a white towel wrapped around his waist following you around telling you about everything that's ever happened to him in his life! :roflmao:
 
Actually I was dusting! He also told me that he is 65 1/2 yrs. old. I said my grandson tells people he is 8 1/2!
Definitely a strange one!
M
 
My nine year son is Elvis obsessed and thinks it would be a good idea for both of us to dress as Elvis on Halloween that might be fun but what a picture.
 
@ Jezy - Is it because of the StateFarm commercials?
[ame]http://youtu.be/RaU8oLwlI_g[/ame]

Perhaps you could suggest a more "modern" character?
[ame]http://youtu.be/GjtEQLBru0s[/ame]
 
He loves the Elvis commercials but last year he heard a couple Elvis songs on my Xm radio which has a Elvis station and then found a old Elvis movie and decided despite my efforts that he wanted to be the king of rock and roll. I grew up around Saturday Night Live and love all those old skits like the Cone Heads.
 
Earlier today while watching toddlers tv shows all morning, i decided to change it to a different channel showing Looney Tunes cartoons, and was able to record the best one of all, (in my mind, at least) "What's Opera, Doc?"

I showed it to my 12 yr old nephew when he was dropped off after school and he laughed the whole time watching it! His favorite part? When Elmer starts singing "Kill the Wabbit!" He burst out laughing even harder, and asked for me to go back so he could hear it again, and again! And when they left to go home, he was humming it and asked for me to keep it so he could watch it again tomorrow, which I will, of course!

I am pretty shocked that I can remember all of that but his reaction to the whole cartoon is probably what's helping me remember it, since it was unexpected! He had me laughing because of his reaction! I can't wait til tomorrow and to hear him laugh again!
 
There is a more recent Bugs Bunny cartoon I found that is funny. Bugs cable goes off while he is watching a big basketball game so he calls cable customer service and gets connected to Daffy Duck who makes him go through all kinds of hoops. Our whole family loved. They have never been able to beat those old characters.
 
Do you remember the Movie, Back to the Future Part II? In the movie, The Cubs won the World Series!! Today is the year that the Cubs have the first chance to possibly win the World Series. Fifteen years later!!
 
Yup,I remember cubbies fans are a loyal and dedicated lot maybe sci fi will become reality this year. Do you remember the Delorean car in that movie?
 
Some years ago I was upstairs husband in bath he thought I gone out.Doorbell goes he shouts downstairs 'where your f'''ing keys you know in bath door bell goes again shouts down door not locked hurry up and put kettle on I be With you in a mo..I still upstairs while husband barking his orders out make matters worse I forgotten put clean towel in bathroom.Husband come bouncing downstairs grumbling no towels stark naked to find two Mormon girls in kitchen filling the kettle.They legged fast.
sAme husband who biggest git you could meet and he hit me.first and last time red MG sports car..He parked outside place he worked which was Army..I popped up there in my lunchtime saw his car parked just by deep incline or vally I got into car and coasted it into revine and it was a right off.He curled up in a ball crying his weazle little eyes out.
We separated that day and I never saw him again just devoice papers few months later
 
Yup,I remember cubbies fans are a loyal and dedicated lot maybe sci fi will become reality this year. Do you remember the Delorean car in that movie?

I sure do remember the Delorean car that was smashed up by a train in Back to the Future III. At that point, Doc said that the future was a blank. Nothing was written in stone. That deleted the hope for the Cubs. If they win the World Series they will win it on there own.

I read about the World Series again on the internet. I am for the Cubs this year. They haven't won The World Series since about 1910.
 
Sorry, the Cubs lost and will not be in the World Series. I was hoping for them too.
 
Always next year my team the Nationals did not even make it to the playoffs despite all the predictions.
 
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