Accommodating Neighbor with Photosensitive epilepsy

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Mrs Wirth

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Hi guys

Well I am in here to put up counter argument - i guess--We have on our own property rope lights up our trees. Its the only thing that keeps the bats away.

Last night as we were cooking a BBQ a neighbor comes over demanding we turn our lights off.

She said it causes her son to take fits. I was wondering if you all feel she could not simply hang curtains in his room.

I am not uncaring. I do feel sorry for anybody with those problems-- but we dont want to get sick with this bat virus and they poo on our new cars too .

Other neighbors have thanked us because tbo they look lovely.

So as suffers - whats your advise here pls guys?


They are only 6 volt- not bright and its kind of irritating to spend $600.00 on fairy lights for nothing. They are good security too.

So what rights do we have to protect our family ?

TBO I am very upset about the way she spoke to me!!
Thanks guys.
 
Could you please refrain from calling them "fits" they are known as seizures.Also if you were to witness her son enduring a seizure then it might just change your mind.But at the end off the day,its your decision if keeping your bats away is more important than a childs health,then so be it.
 
Neil,
Sorry if calling then fits inst Kosher. My friends daughter has had this condition for thirty years. I have stayed over many times and helped Maire. What you dont know is this woman lives on a corner. The lights flashing on her windows is far stronger than out little fairy lights I assure you. Also our water tanks are directly under these trees. The virus they carry can kill people and i have my family to consider as well.

Yes also we do grow fruit trees. Look, I am sure not everybody is as rude as her and quite frankly you Neil.

It appears to me she is angry with the world and just lashing out about anything & everything. As I said the child is young so should be in bed early. Our lights dont go on until 8pm.

Oh and btw my Dr called in last night because she upset our daughter to the point she she screaming - which isn't like her.
Rightly or wrong our Dr called them fits too. My friend who has lived with this for 30 years also calls them fits.

Personally, I dont care what they are called. I came in here for advise- not to be abused!
She was so aggressive that she caused a disturbance on our property- in our home.

There was no pls I am sorry to bother you but would you mind etc

She just started yelling and yelling and shoved our 4 year old visitors daughter over as she shoved into my back yard.

I am sure shes under stress with her child BUT - like the police said to her put a curtain up or change rooms.

I* didnt call the police either. One of our visitors did. The one whose 4 year old was knocked to the ground and grazed her knees.

I am a kind person & so is my partner but just wondering why she cant as police told her hang a curtain or change rooms

This all happened at 10pm at night,. Way to late for a child that age to be up.


Frankly I think shes just angry with the world because her son has problems .

However..... we dont want the bat virus to kill us either! Pls dont bother to reply. We have been upset by this entire invasion into our private back yard.

I dont need more abuse from anybody and i came into this site for advise - not abuse..
 
Hi guys

Well I am in here to put up counter argument - i guess--We have on our own property rope lights up our trees. Its the only thing that keeps the bats away.

Last night as we were cooking a BBQ a neighbor comes over demanding we turn our lights off.

She said it causes her son to take fits. I was wondering if you all feel she could not simply hang curtains in his room.

I am not uncaring. I do feel sorry for anybody with those problems-- but we dont want to get sick with this bat virus and they poo on our new cars too .

Other neighbors have thanked us because tbo they look lovely.

So as suffers - whats your advise here pls guys?


They are only 6 volt- not bright and its kind of irritating to spend $600.00 on fairy lights for nothing. They are good security too.

So what rights do we have to protect our family ?

TBO I am very upset about the way she spoke to me!!
Thanks guys.
Hi Mrs Wirth,

Welcome to CWE.

Everyone who has epilepsy has different triggers for their seizures, for me my seizures used to mainly happen when I was stressed or over tired.

Some people who have epilepsy are photosensitive so flashing lights can trigger their seizures. I'm not photosensitive myself so don't know if fairy lights are bright enough to trigger seizures. Maybe your neighbours little boy is photosensitive which is why she was concerned about the fairy lights. But it does sound like your neighbour could've spoken to you about the fairy lights in a more polite manner.
 
Hello and thankyou for your welcome to CWE,

Yes I dont know what to do tbo. I am angry with her about the way she abused my guest. My friend Angie went to see who was calling out as I was busy cooking prawns on the BBQ.
We run a Animal Welfare organization and people often bring us injured birds etc- so i just thought it was somebody bring a hurt animal and Angie is a vet- So I didnt worry at first.
Then i heard this screaming and she forced past Angie and pushed the gate & knocked my other guests 4 year old over. She didnt even stop or look back!

We were all shocked. I just went to burnings and spent a fortune on nets to cover the fruit trees. I called somebody to see if he can stop it changing but he said it might blow the bulbs- Hes coming to look..

I also walked over and spoke to the ladies husband.

He said dont worry its no big deal - we can just close his window. I dont know if he meant it or not. He said they are not really very bright anyway- just dont worry.

I am not sure if he meant it or not. In the morning i will go into my council- or phone and get in writing what i can and cant do on my own place.

btw I love your logo
Laughter IS freaking Essential.

You know I think perhaps later we could offer to mind her child and give her a break.
She does owe us an apology but if we can help make her life easier we would be more than happy.

I know shes a big animal lover so thats a good start for us:)... however if she keeps being rude and pushing my guests 4 year olds over I wont be so sweet next time.

The Bats-- Actually qe love the poor little beggars & they are starving but with this virus I believe that was man made- We have no other choice but keep them away from our water supply.

I am off now to put nets all over so we can TRY to leave the lights off for at least tonight.
Silly really because they are only 6 volt and not bright whatever .

Keep up your laughter and do tell me that your not over tired r stressed.

Blessing to you . We are also the Spiritual center . If you give me a birth month and year i will try to look into your chart and report back pronto.
 
Neil,
Sorry if calling then fits inst Kosher. My friends daughter has had this condition for thirty years. I have stayed over many times and helped Maire. What you dont know is this woman lives on a corner. The lights flashing on her windows is far stronger than out little fairy lights I assure you. Also our water tanks are directly under these trees. The virus they carry can kill people and i have my family to consider as well.

Yes also we do grow fruit trees. Look, I am sure not everybody is as rude as her and quite frankly you Neil.

It appears to me she is angry with the world and just lashing out about anything & everything. As I said the child is young so should be in bed early. Our lights dont go on until 8pm.

Oh and btw my Dr called in last night because she upset our daughter to the point she she screaming - which isn't like her.
Rightly or wrong our Dr called them fits too. My friend who has lived with this for 30 years also calls them fits.

Personally, I dont care what they are called. I came in here for advise- not to be abused!
She was so aggressive that she caused a disturbance on our property- in our home.

There was no pls I am sorry to bother you but would you mind etc

She just started yelling and yelling and shoved our 4 year old visitors daughter over as she shoved into my back yard.

I am sure shes under stress with her child BUT - like the police said to her put a curtain up or change rooms.

I* didnt call the police either. One of our visitors did. The one whose 4 year old was knocked to the ground and grazed her knees.

I am a kind person & so is my partner but just wondering why she cant as police told her hang a curtain or change rooms

This all happened at 10pm at night,. Way to late for a child that age to be up.


Frankly I think shes just angry with the world because her son has problems .

However..... we dont want the bat virus to kill us either! Pls dont bother to reply. We have been upset by this entire invasion into our private back yard.

I dont need more abuse from anybody and i came into this site for advise - not abuse..

I don't think Neil was 'abusing' you, he was replying to a comment you made which offended him, and many others I'm sure.

Photosensitive epilepsy is a very difficult thing to deal with. Maybe the mother went a bit over the top but if you believed your child was having seizures due to lights at someone's house you'd get upset too. Seeing a child have a seizures is one of the worst things imaginable.

And it's not only the brightness of the lights which is a factor. I am photosensitive and low light can cause seizures for me if the frequency of the flickering is high enough. Sometimes even subtle amounts can do it.
 
Mrs Wirth,
Personally I think you are being rude.
1) you hijacked a thread to whine about a neighbour instead of starting your own thread
2) you come to a site full of people with epilepsy and are some how surprised that we havent jumped to your side.
3) You are complaining about bats pooping on your new car, and paying $600 for lights to keep them away. You seem like a materialistic jerk. Can you not park your car somewhere else? Cover your water tanks? Find another method to keep the bats away? Maybe cut down your fruit trees (because they attract bats)? Im certain that not everyone in your city uses these lights to rid the bats. They find other ways.
4) again, you seem to be a bit of a know it all. If her child is attracted to your lights, he may be going out of his way to look at them. thus causing the seiuzre.

so in conclusion, I think you need to leave this sight and grow a compassion bone.
 
Rae
First of all I dont know how to start a new thread! I came in here for the first post ever because it was titled new poster .

Second tbo I think your the rude one. Where do you or this woman get off telling us what we can and cant have on our our property. The trees btw are NOT fruit trees.
The trees the bats next in are in fact large trees that were planted 40 years ago by my late mother.
So you think because she cant put her son in another room- or hang a curtain we would chop all our trees down and not be able to have any fairy lights.

This is because why? Because imop some people are just angry with the world because of their own problems.

A little secret-

Despite the fact we stopped them blinking in the end this crazy woman entered our property last night and switched our power off.

I mean the entire power at the power box. The police were going to charge her but i asked them to give her just a warning. The police were not happy about that either.

They told her point blank she cant get around demanding people not even have a fairy light on their own property bats or no bats. There are no council bi- laws against people having fairy lights for pity sake.

If we want fairy lights on our own place we may have them. I think what you dont understand is these things are only 6 volt and not really bright at all.


Now unless the moderator tells me I cant post in this site i shall.

Something tells me you would get along well with the new neighbor. Oh and just for the record for the other person Neil.

When she came here knocking over my 4 year old friends child she wasn't too concerned about her!

She also screamed at Angie my son takes fits!

They were her words not ours.

No doubt its a real problem but if you want people to be kind you would hardly storm their private back yard and knock over a 4 year old would you.

As for this disease all i know from my friend is they have success in USA in many cases by operating . I would think it might cost a lot but perhaps we could all lobby the AU government to make those operations available on medi bank in AU


It might not be for everybody but it might help many .

Why dont you concentrate on looking into that instead of picking on me.

At the end of the day we must take responsibility for our own health and families.

That includes this woman as well. No we are not going to get rid of our lights - OR chop down our trees because she cant put her child either in another room OR hang a curtain.
 
Chis 515

Well if you also think its nice that she abused a 4 year old. You see your true colors are coming through now arnt they.

Both of you with ALL your compassion purposely ignored the fact a 4 year old child was knocked to the ground by this woman invading our back yard.
Yes I could have had her charged and frankly her parents wanted to.

You talking about compassion for the kid that needs a curtain up in his room- maybe--

What about the 4 year old girl that was knocked to the ground by this women onto the concrete and all the skin off her legs.

Your very one sided arnt you. As I said I came into this site for advise but i have only met one fair minded person so far.


The fact you can all ignore that she assaulted a 4 year because your so consumed with yourselves says it all really.

That 4 year old has had night meres ever since - hardly fair .
 
I really think you're posting on the wrong forum. You don't seem to care about photosensitive epilepsy regarding your lights. It seems like you're looking to pick a fight with us and complain about your neighbours.

"Because imop some people are just angry with the world because of their own problems."

Sounds like you're the one who's angry.

If you came in here with a bit of class then maybe you would be getting a better reception from people.

Go pick a fight somewhere else. The internet is a big place.
 
Chris515\

No I am pointing out to you that is what you are doing.

As I said a 4 year old child ( little girl was knocked to the ground by this woman on our property.


Now that is a very aggressive woman. Maybe she should not have that boy in her care at all if she cant arrange to hang a curtain - or change rooms.


You are supporting child abuse by sayings its OK for her to knock a 4 year old over - hurt her - then step over her literally.\


Your them against us mentality inst going to work with me. There are nice and not so nice people in this world.

Its disappointing to see you like her dont care about the little girl she hurt .

Just because her son has problems does not give her the right to break into my yard- knock a 4 year old to the ground.

So frankly as I said I came in here for advise.

I do have a great interest in this topic in fact.

I believe USA have a cure and the AU Government know it but wont pay for it.
 
Mrs Wirth,

In defence to Rae, Chris & Neil, they are all really nice people & I do not believe they are here to pick a fight with you. They are just trying to educate you more about epilepsy & photosensitive seizures.

It is terrible that your neighbour knocked over your friends little girl which she shouldn't have done. We don't know how bad the neighbours little boys seizures are affected. As I mentioned I am not photosensitive but I think that with some people who are photosensitive even the smallest flicker can trigger their seizures. So it may not be as easy as putting up a curtain or putting the child in a different room.

As for calling seizures fits, I like Neil prefer to not call them fits & rather call them seizures. I do hear still people call them fits though & have heard drs call them fits aswell.

As for this disease all i know from my friend is they have success in USA in many cases by operating . I would think it might cost a lot but perhaps we could all lobby the AU government to make those operations available on medi bank in AU
.
You need to understand that not everyone's seizures can be controlled by meds & not everyone is a candidate for surgery. There are forum members who have tried everything meds, surgery, other methods to control tehir seizures & they still have seizures.
I am from Australia & I did have brain surgery last year as meds couldn't control my seizures. At the moment I am seizure free but that is not saying I will never have a seizure again (I went 21 years between seizures before I started taking seizures again in 2002).

As I said I do think your neighbour could've confronted you in a more polite manner regarding the fairy lights. But I'm sorry I do not agree with you having a go at forum members on here who are just giving their input & I beleive trying to educate you.
 
As for this disease all i know from my friend is they have success in USA in many cases by operating . I would think it might cost a lot but perhaps we could all lobby the AU government to make those operations available on medi bank in AU

It might not be for everybody but it might help many .
Why dont you concentrate on looking into that instead of picking on me.

At the end of the day we must take responsibility for our own health and families.


My mouth is fucking gaping. Who do you think you are?
THIS IS A SITE for those with Epilepsy and friends and family who go through it with them.
THIS IS A SITE for anyone grieving the loss of someone due to Epilepsy or a seizure disorder.
THIS IS A SITE for anyone who has questions about EPILEPSY AND SEIZURES, not for bitching about problems with neighbours. We don't care!!!

Do you realize the problems we all face on a daily basis? From your comments on lobbying and making the operations 'available' I would think not. And why doesn't Rae concentrate on looking into that instead of picking on you? She likely has!! You don't know her or any of us or the hell of this disease and you have extremely insulted this site by coming here and acting like we should care about your problem. MANY people can't have surgery and MANY can and either way it's hell so don't you talk like you know ANYTHING about it.

And in another post you mentioned a cure - really?!?! EPILEPSY HAS NO CURE!! It is a lifelong disease and there are many kinds and triggers and surgeries and meds... AND YEAH at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own health and do you know what one of the main triggers for a seizure is? STRESS!!!!!! So instead of pissing all of us off the way you are please remove yourself as a member.
Actually Nak, Eric, Meetz... can you guys remove her? This is appalling.

I very much take back welcoming you a few minutes before while reading another post. I don't think so.
 
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Hi QC

I really was only responding to the way i was posted . Nobody likes to think somebody else is sick. Anyway I am glad you had your op and will keep figures crossed .
Didnt know they were doing it in USA. When Tash was offered the op she had to fly to USA.
As for the lady no she shouldnt have knocked the little one over then stepped over her.
The ladys husband told us it was no big deal as the lights are not very bright anyway.
I just dont think shes handling her sons condition very well.

He said look we can just close the window - or as you suggested hang a curtain.

They say stress bring them on and personally i feel shes so worried about her son she might be making him stressed.

Without wishing to sound insular i do think dying from a bat virus is a bigger concern than her not wanting to close a window.

TBO she really upset not only me but all my guests. Her husband is very different but away a great deal.

I dont mind of course calling then seizures but seriously she called them fits as my Dr and Tasha's Mum has always called them that way.

So pls know i had no intention to offend anybody.

Thanks for a balanced comment btw

Figures crossed
XX

Hey, just a stupid thought i guess- but as you have had the op - do you think maybe not talking about them or even thinking about them might be better for you?

They say your thoughts control your system.
Just a thought.

As you know I am certainly no expert .
 
I moved the posts on this topic to give it its own thread. I'd like to remind ALL commenters that CWE is a "friendly dinner party" -- folks need to keep the tone polite and avoid name-calling and confrontational statements. Mrs. Wirth, since you're new here and to some of the specifics of epilepsy, please be respectful of the opinions and information members have to offer. In the same vein, I hope CWE members will be equally considerate, and extend a helping hand to Mrs. Wirth as she gets up to speed on our issues and concerns.

Best,
Nakamova
 
Hello Mrs. Wirth,
I saw your posts earlier but as I was coming off of a week of 15 seizures I opted to not respond until I felt better. After catching up this evening I must say that I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor, I am clearly flabbergasted. I am highly photosensitive and can understand the mothers concern. I personally keep all of my windows double curtained and made lil material "shades" that I put over my lampshades in my house.

Given your questions and concerns here's what I'd say:

I am able to see this from the perspective of a person with photosensitive epilepsy. You are telling me your version of the events and I am sure that your neighbor would have her own version. I can see her being upset and worried about her child and accidently knocking over the 4 yr old child in the process.

...but we dont want to get sick with this bat virus and they poo on our new cars too .
Then by all means protect your own health without regard to others or coming to an amiable compromise. You feel her compromise is small -the curtains or changing rooms; I would venture to say she feels you doing something about the lights is a small compromise.

...Other neighbors have thanked us because tbo they look lovely.

I would thank them for the compliments.

...So as suffers - whats your advise here pls guys?

In general I say do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Kharma has a way of biting you in the backside and it's timing usually isn't good.

...its kind of irritating to spend $600.00 on fairy lights for nothing. They are good security too.

Try selliing them if you decide to not use them. Grats on the great security.

...So what rights do we have to protect our family ?

I would imagine that local laws and customs determine that and since I don't know yours I say...

You are the only person that can determine what's right, you have to live with it and most people find a way to justify their actions even it if negatively affects others.

...TBO I am very upset about the way she spoke to me!!

I did clearly get the impression that you're upset. It sounds like you both are. So as you both sit in your respective homes at least you know there are two irritated persons on your street.

This is my opinion - just because her husband appears to be passive about the situation doesn't mean that the lights aren't that big of a deal. I believe it's more likely he said that to end the confrontation.

Learning more about epilepsy is a good start.
I wish you well with your situation.
 
Honestly, after just reading through all this thread i think that the only way you could resolve this problem is to talk to your neighbour. No shouting or accusations on either side and try to reach a compromise.

You never know, before she came to your house she could have witnessed her son having a seizure and been angry and upset. People don't always act in the best way when they're scared and upset. A seizure is a horrifying thing, both for us who experience them and perhaps even more so for those who have to watch them.

If you can't talk to this neighbour then use a mediator, but the answer is not on an online forum, it's at home and with your neighbour.

I wish you both the best of luck.
 
Since your neighbor calls them 'fits' instead of saying EPILEPSY or SEIZURES does he have epilepsy? Everyone that I know that has epilepsy or someone in their family does they always call them seizures.

Also stress is a huge seizure trigger for me. At night when the lights are on she could start yelling and complaining about them which would be causing stress for her son and could be causing him to have seizures.
 
valeriedl E said


""Since your neighbor calls them 'fits' instead of saying EPILEPSY or SEIZURES does he have epilepsy?"'

Hello Ve

I honestly dont know. You have raised a good point. We dont know them really. The boys Dad said it was nothing.
Maybe he hasn't..

To be very honest with you- and I am trying to be fair I do think shes causing the child stress.

I have heard her yelling at the poor kid. Hes only 6 years of age.

We really think shes in trouble. Last night she tress passed onto our property and turned our entire mains off.

Anyway thanks for your time and i have taken everybodys comments on board .

From now on i will only talk about the people who are struggling to cope.

Best of luck dear.
 
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