Communication skills due to sz.

[bombom]

Hi!

I have had E. for 35yrs now since I was 3yrs old. I'm 38yrs old now and I have problems communicating with others. You see because of my condition I feel that other people don't take me seriously. Especially my family members, I feel like I was always treated like the special child, and when I say special. I mean that they have always made me feel like my opinion has never counted enven to this day. Everytime we are always together when there are improtant issues that are being talked about they always seem to make me feel like I don't have the intelligence to offer my opinions. It has been going on like this for as long as I can remember. After all I started having E. since I was a child. Now It's hard for me to have simple conversations with others because I'm always afraid that I might say the wrong things. I mean I seem to say things that I don't mean to say or say things without realizing that I said on accident. I feel like it has something to do with since my family makes me feel like my opinion never matters. I'm so on guard with what spills out of my mouth that everthing comes out the wrong way because I always feel so self-concious. Am I the only one that feels this way? I would appreciate some feedback.

 

[Nakamova]

Hey bombom, are there folks other than your family members who treat you with respect and listen to your opinions? Because sometimes, for some things, we have to write off our families and create new ones that will empower us and make us feel better about ourselves.

If you think there's still a chance you can make your family see the light, consider writing down how you feel, and presenting the written testament to your family -- that way you won't be pressured or flustered.

 

[bombom]

Hi! Nakamova!

Thank you for your reply I have tried to do this many times. Yet it has never really helped. I really don't think they realize what they're doing anymore. Being that they have done it for yrs. all I can do is keep trying it's just hard because because I feel like they think they're protecting me. But really they're hurting me. Thanks for your feedback I really appreciate it. God! Bless! You!

 

[huskymom]

Hi bombom :hello:

I agree. You need to find a circle of friends that you can talk to who won't judge you or protect you. I have some family members who act like I am a child (51 is not very childlike anymore). I think they are just concerned and have no other way of showing it. I like the idea of writing your feelings down. Ask them if they could ease up a little. Once they see that you can function and are a person, they may give you more space. It is worth a try!

 

[jyearta]

Hi BomBom,

I understand your pain.

I know my sister does mean to hurt me.

Then it seems I try really hard, to say the right things, but it all comes out wrong. And she has feelings too just like me.

I thinks its because I cann't keep my mind on one thing for long, I know that I interrupt people, cause I know I will not rememeber. But that is still rude of me.
I am trying to watch myself, just seems the harder I try, the worse it gets for some reason.

I hope that you will be able to find the way that is works for you.

 

[valeriedl]

I know what you are going through. I have so much trouble thinking of the right word that I'm trying to say.

I might be talking to someone and say "Oh, you know those little furry things that run around the house". They'll say to me "You mean your cats?" really confused at why I can't think of a word as simple as that. I have so much trouble with this.

My family at first did the same thing that yours did, but finally they realized that if I didn't understand what they were talking about then they would explain it to me, I'm 35 and have had epilepsy for about 8 years now.

Actually when I'm trying to think of words or if it comes out in the wrong way they make fun of me, but it's in a good way, we all get a laugh about it. I have really bad memory problems and I'll be telling my dad about something that happened, half way through the story he'll finish it for me. I'll ask him if I've told him this already and he'll say - yea, this is about the fifth time now. I'll just ask him if he want's to hear it again then? It's a good joke between the two of us.

It's just something I've come to deal with and I don't get upset about it any more.

 

[jyearta]

Now; you have the right attitude.

I need to stop and be able to laugh at myself. going to try that, if I can remember HA. HA.

I am 59 and was diagn. 40 years ago. But I am learning more and more.

Thank you for the example you showed me.

 

[CleptaK]

Hi Bombom

I'm so sorry to hear you feel like that. I can relate as, pretty much all the time, I feel awkward and and like I have a big problem communicating. I have absence seizures so I 'vague-out' during conversations and miss bits and pieces. If I'm having a bad seizure day, or there's a bigger seizure looming I tend to get my words scrambled (my sentences make no sense!). So, I've become very quiet and withdrawn, especially at work. I especially relate to the 'on-guard' part; I get so zooped up to say something and then it comes out all wrong!

Like Nakamova, I've resorted to writing everything down and giving it to the person (at home and work). It works well with some people; I don't think everyone understands epilepsy outside from TV dramatisations of people dropping to the floor and foaming at the mouth, so they just think I'm mad.

Hope this thread helps - you're not alone! Least we've got each other