Epilepsy, bipolar, smoke pot freak out

[vapour]

Hi.

I cant begin to tell you all how absaloutly paranoid I am.. IU know Im paranoid but I cant help but think things are going to happen and that what i think is true.

I have smoked pot on a handful of occassions in the last few weeks.

It has made me extremly depressed, i smoked it yesterda, and I woke up feeling so paranoid and depressed that I went to see my psychiatrist and I told him ..... Im not sure if he will tell my Neuro.

I feel awful. The worst part is this... I guess my friends gave me some weed, because when I got up this morning and went to my cupboard and opened it and moved some clothes around .. it STANK... I live with others... who are against drugs.. and Im not sure if they smelt it.

I piled a bunch of clothes on it, I wanted to remove it from the house,.. but they were there, and I was in a rush to get out.. so all I could do was pile clothes on it. (its in a medicine bottle) ....

ALl day I have been paranoid that they know what Ive done, and perhaps gone through my things

I dont want to go home... cause Im not sure what to expect....

Im so paranoid and not mentally stable right now. any advice ?

 

[Rae1889]

Well first off. take a breath, relax. there isnt much in life worth panicking and being paranoid in life. so take some time to look at the situation from all angles. There is always a silver lining to look for. you just gotta know where to look.

second...if you are so paranoid of smoking pot and doing any drug for that matter why would you take/smoke them? I know that there is a possiblity of becoming addicted to street drugs. and if you feel like this is something that you think is a problem in your life you should have another chat with your psychiatrist and you neuro. they can help find a solution. If not you need to go doctor shopping.

Third...You should maybe not do anything too drastic while doing this TNS study, as you could be playing with your results. Just go about your normal day to day basis and try to live healthy for a while. this way when your doing the study you at at your healthiest.

Fourth...Take another breath. Your room mates do have a right to ask you to stop doing drugs in their house, and can even ask you to leave if you don't stop. so take the paranoia as a signal to stop. Your are scared for a reason. you don't need to put yourself through more stress for nothing. again, there are worse things that could happen. Go to the bathroom and flush it. or throw it out your window, or drop it in the garbage. and spray perfume all over the bottle first. febreeze works best.

fifth...get yourself stable. go take a walk, forget about it. think of the most logical way to rid your stresses when you come to them. I get really frustrated and over emotional *crying* alot. its really hard for me to hold that back. but I've always been what people call a cry baby. it took writing and drawing and actually mouthing off for me to realize that i was stronger than i thought. You got to try. Talk to yourself and force a calm and relaxed voice. don't try to convince your self, but talk as if you already know its going to happen and things are okay. The universe will answer.

and just remember, all hope and prayers are answered, but sometimes the answer is no. So just make sure you keep passing out the good karma and you'll get your share.

blessed be!

 

[vapour]

thanks rae.

I am home .. things seem fine.. but only 1 person is here so far....

I am going to go and start the TNS in about 3 weeks....I have only been accepted into the trail so far... not started it ... there is no way I am going to smoke pot while doing the trial.

I didnt smoke pot in their home, I did it at my friends, but I found some in my pocket, and it smelt really bad, ...

I told my psychiatrist today because I felt so bad.

I am trying to relax at present... suprised the stress has not caused any mild seizure activity..

 

[Rae1889]

Just breathe easy. and remember, it could be worse. So if there is only one person left in the house at the moment, excuse yourself, go into the bathroom and flush the Green. Spray air freshner in the air. Worst case scenario after that is the next person in the bathroom might think you have a rotten digestive system. far better than the other embarrassement lol

 

[Nakamova]

It's all good advice from Rae. Don't be too hard on yourself -- what's happened has happened. But maybe use this as a little push towards putting in place the good habits you'll want during the TNS trial (especially because some drugs/toxins can stay in your system for awhile). And do your best to stay as healthy as possible.