epilepsy linked to creative ability?

[alivenwell]

I am left handed and everything seems sdrawkcab (backwards) to me. I do love to draw, listen to various styles of music (primarily classical), and I also play piano (balances out the left handedness).

I also have the 'drawing on the right side of the brain' book and it is an excellent guide to drawing accurate pictures.

I have been told that I think very differently from most 'normal' people. I think this disorder constantly challenges us. Taking meds all day, transportation, finding a job that accommodates the epilepsy, finding people who accept it (if you can get to meet them due to lack of transportation), ....

It's practically every aspect of daily living. People with epilepsy become exceptional because it's a survival technique. Creativity is just another way for us to control the situations in our lives.

 

[RobinN]

... just another way for us to control the situations in our lives.

How do you feel this fits the majority that have later onset E?
I know this has been an ongoing issue for Rebecca, even as a child. Not always noticeable outwardly, but certainly internally.

 

[alivenwell]

Like Rebecca, I had epilepsy as a kid. My teenage years were somewhat difficult because all of my friends and my sisters got the usual passage to adulthood - that drivers license. Rebecca's escape and stress management is skating. My escape is piano playing and drawing.

Most people with a later onset of epilepsy have a lot of adjustments. This is where creativity comes into play. If independence is a preference, they have to live near public transportation, find a career that accommodates the epilepsy, locate supportive friends, work from home, find the best way to treat the epilepsy to maintain a good quality of life, and most importantly, get a good stress management routine in their schedule.

I honestly think my stress really is well controlled by exercising and hanging around with my dog. I also stay as busy as possible so I keep a positive state of mind. My border collie demands a great fun play session every night when I come home. It's the greatest greeting I've had all day.

If I was unemployed tomorrow, I'd be taking a bus to a local hospital and doing volunteer work. Or I'd be riding the bus to a local college for more challenging courses. Or, I'd be taking online college courses. There's always a new and different challenge with epilepsy.

I personally know one person who owns several houses, has no disability, has a really handsome husband, a beautiful yard, a good retirement plan, supportive friends, a good exercise regimen, and a sports car with the privilege to drive it. This person is NEVER satisfied, stressed out over minor stuff, and loves to dwell on past bad experiences. It all depends upon one's perspective.

 

[RobinN]

Yes, I do understand that there are others that for some reason are not "hit" with a hammer. I just am trying to figure out if the thought pattern contributed to the kindling that I think occurred with Rebecca. Not that it could have been changed, nor would I want her to be any different than she is. Guess I would love for her to be able to learn to redirect the negative thoughts that seem to overwhelm her at times. I actually see it less and less, the more we do neurofeedback.

I am most likely thinking more into this than is actually there. You have learned to deal with the situation. Were you ever aware of cyclical thoughts? Seeing a pattern of thoughts and unable to, or with difficulty to pull away from them?

It is very difficult to reason with Rebecca and to have her see an issue from other view points... getting better as I mentioned. I have just always wondered if this has been part of her trigger sequence puzzle.

 

[alivenwell]

I've been guilty of cyclical thoughts. It's like venting and not listening. It kind of feels better to keep talking over and over about an issue with the hope that some magical thought will occur and the issue is solved. If a solution is found, the stress is reduced, otherwise stress keeps building up and kindling kicks butt.

It sounds like kindling is a big factor. The neurofeedback is probably preventing more kindling.

If Rebecca is upset, she might not really be listening to the other view point. This could lead to a seizure.

If Rebecca is not upset, she may be putting up a defensive wall to stay in her world. She has essentially decided to not listen. The defensive wall may actually be her way of preventing seizures.

 

[RobinN]

I use to use the analogy that she was inside of her box. She would get inside of an issue and not initially be upset, but when you would try to talk her out of seeing it only from "inside of the box" she would continue to argue that it was viewed from that perspective and only that perspective (not sure if that makes sense). I always wondered if this was a contributing factor.

Another personality quirk that E has totally distroyed... she hated to have negative attention of any sort. She would simply go bananas if negative attention was aimed her way. Not highly unusual from a teen, but this started at a young age. Now she has no choice. She gets that attention whether she likes it or not.

She has also considered herself a non-academic. School scores show it has been difficult, but I have always supported her and told her that she is talented beyond her age in other ways (skating, dance and choreography). I know that she can handle performance stress. She has never faltered there. I also have never seen seizure activity during a stressful time in her academic areas. Excitement maybe....

Cyclical thoughts... interesting idea. Anyone else have these? Did you have them prior to being diagnosed?

 

[skillefer]

Sure Meetz! Only, I was wrong ...it has4 eggs init. Still want the recipe? If so, here it is....

Ingredients

Pastry for 2crust 8inch pie
2lemons
4eggs
1 3/4 c. sugar

Line 8" pie plate w/ pastry. Set aside.
Peel lemons. Shred peel to make 2 tsp. Set aside.
Cut lemon into thin slices. Remove seeds.
In bowl, mix lemon slices, peel, and sugar by hand.
Let stand 20 min. stirring occasionally.
Beat eggs well. Stir into lemon mixture,and pour into pie plate.
Put on top crust. Seal and flute edges.
Bake at 400 degrees for 35-40 min.

 

[Meetz1064]

Wooooohooooooo!!!!!!!

Thanks, Skill!!!!

YUMMMMOOOOOO!!!

I still give into my cravings once in a while even though I really should (gluten and lactose intolerant) but I CANNOT resist this!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!

(rubbing hands together in anticipation)

 

[Meetz1064]

OK, back to the thread, now.....

I, too, am guilty of cyclical thoughts, QUITE OFTEN. But, my diagnosis came quite early, so I may be out of line butting in here....onder:

 

[RobinN]

Meetz... discussion is healthy, so butt all you want....
I do believe you are born with your personality, so it is very likely that your thought pattern is also developed early on. I know the brain continues to grow until into the early 20's. So perhaps this is why seizures are diagnosed mostly during this time.

Then, if there is the possibility that it could be linked to vaccines, diet, malabsorbtion... that too could be the reason kindling begins.

It would be interesting to start a database of whether or not a child had birth trauma, dietary allergies, vaccines, antibiotics, and which ones.

It would be interesting to look into other cultures to see if the rate of E is the same as in fastpaced societies. Do the Amish have the same %? What is the rate of E in those societies that live in countries (or states) where fish is #1 food of choice.

Going back to cyclical thoughts .... what might be some methods to change this? Do you tell yourself that you need to move on. Do you begin a totally different "exercise"? I know something that is suggested in Epilepsy: A New Approach is to have a product that you like the smell of. She uses this to abort the aura, but what if it were to be used to change a thought pattern. Or maybe a vision board, with images that are truly pleasant and help you to dream bigger than you ever thought possible.

I wonder....

 

[skillefer]

Hi Robinn! By "cyclical thoughts"...do you mean when you start thinking about something, and just don't let it drop? You know, rehashing an event or thought over and over? If so, yes, I've done that. But in the last 3 months, I find that when that kind of thinking happens, I'll go do something else...like read, say my rosary, go walk around in the garden and see what weeds need pulling, or bake. These things take my active concentration and thought...so I tend to forget the thought that I was locked onto.

 

[Meetz1064]

Hmmmmm

Well, I can't seem to get RID of the cyclical thoughts, but I can MINIMIZE them, to a certain extent. It takes some work though.

And, believe it or not, it takes a bit of what you suggested.

I have a product that I like to smell. Vanilla works well, I've found. Lavender also. I also need to be looking at something pleasant. Be it the trees and flowers outside, or the clouds floating in the sky, but it needs to be something that is of a larger scale, too. Weird, but true. And, occasionally, it the cyclical thoughts are really bad, going viciously, some classical music.
Soft, slow classical music. Playing at a very low volume, too.

Most of the time it works........once in a while it doesn't.

 

[morgan381]

Well, I can't seem to get RID of the cyclical thoughts, but I can MINIMIZE them, to a certain extent. It takes some work though.

And, believe it or not, it takes a bit of what you suggested.

I have a product that I like to smell. Vanilla works well, I've found. Lavender also. I also need to be looking at something pleasant. Be it the trees and flowers outside, or the clouds floating in the sky, but it needs to be something that is of a larger scale, too. Weird, but true. And, occasionally, it the cyclical thoughts are really bad, going viciously, some classical music.
Soft, slow classical music. Playing at a very low volume, too.

Most of the time it works........once in a while it doesn't.

All of those are excellent ways to "snap" yourself out of that thought pattern. Something I've found that works well for me is to wear a hair band (like a rubber band) around my wrist. When the thoughts start, I give myself a little snap on the wrist with it...it seems to 'reset' my mind...

 

[alivenwell]

I work in an office all day and it's so easy to get into a rut. That rut is essentially the same as a cyclical thought.

It's amazing how many ruts I solve when I walk my dog. I'm in a different environment (fresh air, my best friend, getting rid of stress, down time to myself for a change instead of constant interruptions, exercising, etc.). Does Rebecca have down time away from her usual daily routine or does she have a very structured routine?

I got into such a total rut from working practically every day including weekends. I lost track of whether it was a workday or a weekend. I drove to work on a Sunday, freaked out that nobody was in the parking lot (I thought there was a national emergency or something) and called a security department. They 'gave me the day off'. It was kind of funny, but that was how deep I was into a rut.

 

[RobinN]

I don't like my days to be the same ... one after another. My creative spirit just won't allow it.
Rebecca has a structured schedule, but she does have plenty of down time. She doesn't always use it in a productive way (TV, IMing) but she definitely has down time. In fact we both agreed that additional volunteer activities would be good for her this summer. Allows her time away from home, in a safe environment ,and hopefully she is learning new things.

I certainly can't go into Rebecca's thought process, but instead of an "I can" attitude, I see her cycle through all the reasons that she can't, and yet she still is bound and determined to do it. Or thinking that she can't and still knowing that she has to "attempt" it gets her into an "I am stupid" cycle. I guess there has to be this type of process for a competitive athlete, but I wonder if there isn't a better thought process for her. Something that she can reprogram her mind to say back in those difficult times.
I know many have made million$ on such "programs". I wonder if she would be helped by such.

 

[alivenwell]

I'm guessing that if there's a somewhat negative expectation, then there are no immediate disappointments.

My son has had an academic record that is absolutely poor. We had SO many IEPs. We all came to a conclusion that he could have done the work.

One observation we had is that he doesn't always do good time management. He literally waits until the last minute to get something done. His structured karate is highly demanding and he seems to respond to that.

He seemed to have no confidence in his first year of college. It might be a similar pattern. He's extremely creative.

 

[brain]

You are not alone ...

I used to be extremely good at playing musical instruments. I started playing the piano when I was four and was able to play by ear. I could play almost any instrument with ease as soon as would pick it up. But now, I have difficulty with every instrument I try to play. I don't know why. It may be because of my meds, or maybe brain damage, epilepsy, or maybe I am just losing skill...


I hope it's just my meds

No - you're in the same boat as I am. Pretty much a lot of
my skills are gone; and I struggle now, because I can't remember.
Brain damage is one factor, remembrance is another factor, meds
might be one issue, but most likely not, considering I play music
by reading music (I'm deaf now - so I can't hear what I'm playing,
but others can, and I struggle.)

That's why I pull out my Yamaha Keyboard (full sized) and I have
tons of music sheets, but I can only play for awhile, then it seems
to strain my brain or like my son says, it trips me out (sends me into
a seizure mode). So I limit my time now on the Keyboard for a short
time only as not to be "tripped out" as my son would call it.

(He calls my Zonegran - Zone Alarm *laughs* - the same name
as the Firewall Program)

 

[Cinnabar]

Hi Morgan

I read somewhere that epilepsy has been indicated in creative and artistic ability. For example, Vincent van Gogh. I know I've seen some poetry and talk of photography, so I was wondering how many of you have a knack for these kind of things. Personally, I have no artistic ability...even my stick figures are questionable but I have been praised on my writing ability (short stories and essays). Just curious. For those of you that do have talent, do you think it is related to E? to your aura? to your emotions about E? or are you just plain talented?

Creativity is definetly associated with Epilepsy. Dosteovsky was Epilieptic. He knew it and even one of his protagonists was portrayed as having Epilepsy! I write an illustrate. When I first came to CWE I created The Creative Writing Page knowing that there is most likely talent abuding here. If you care to vistit, read and/or pop somthing in all you have to do is go to Quicks Links>Social Groups>Member Groups at the top page and there you are...excerpts from short stories or essays would be great. Lots of poetry going on now but I've been thinking of posting parts of my memoir I'm working on now. Laurie

 

[Torak]

I'm not sure if i'm really creative tbh.

I have certain gifts regarding my ability to visualise abstract data structures, which helpedme a lot when I worked as a computer programmer, and programming requires a degree of creativity.

But with regards to literary or artistic creativity I'd say no.

The last creative thing I did artistically was a poem I wrote for a woman I had started to fall in love with, but things went sour and I didn't appreciate being used as an 'emotion punch bag'. Friends is good, leading someone on for an ego trip is not.

But I digress...

No, my creativity is focused on my computing stuff, I can visualise and contruct normalised database structures very rapidly in my head. I can't extend this to object oriented design very easily tho.

It's a gift I need to explore more, to be honest, as I've never looked into the potential or the boundaries of it.

I don't know if this is de to epilepsy. I now think (from what the neuro said) that the seizure focus is in my left temporal lobe. This affects verbal memory/ability, and maybe the right side of the brain went into overdrive to make up for this and gave me this gift. No idea tbh, just theorising.

 

[Nancy]

Creative ability? Too bad something hasn't been created to shut me up.
I started painting when I was a wee kid and never stopped until I started wood carving when I was 44. Epilepsy hit at age 46 and didn't even slow the carving which requires the big band saw, the super sharp tools and all that stuff.
But when that tumor started "fussing" or whatever at age 62, it was the dyslexia, confusion and weird stuff that stopped the carving. The tumor is gone but the carving hasn't returned. My heart is broken.