I am frustrated

[PurpleAngel]

I have reached the point with Kater that daily she takes all I have to get through the time she is home. I love her to death, but can't stand her behavior anymore.

If I (or anyone for that matter) asks/tells her to do something she will yell No at the top of her lungs and go back to what she was doing before. I often have to tell her to be just stop talking because she is like living with a defense attorney. She would plead with you about the shade of green that the grass is, just for the sake of arguing.

If anything goes wrong with say her video game it's anyone elses fault but her own even if that person is 10 feet away from her not even looking at the game. She has tripped and fallen over her backpack that she left in the middle of the room, stood up yelled at Ty and slapped him cuz he made her trip. She wil not play with the other kids at school unless they follow her rules and listen to what she wants them to. Why the kids put up with her I am not sure, and I am sure that soon that will end when they realize they don't have to be friends with her.

If you ask her to be quiet cause her brother is sleeping, she will wait until you are busy, run up and scream in his ear just to be defiant, and then when you correct her she will look like she had no clue what she did wasn't okay.

Took her to the Ped. yesterday, for her 8 yr. check up. It was the Dr. holding her legs, I had the arms and mouth (so that in case she bit it was me and not the Dr.)
just to look in her ears and mouth. It was so hard to control her as she is getting so strong. The Dr. asked "You do this every day?" Yeah, in one way or another. It's constant. You ask her to grab her hairbrush that it 3 feet away and she will turn and do something completely different than what she should. According to the neuropsych testing that was done last year (what they could do, due to miss attitude not cooperating) said that she is of "low average intelligence"

I just don't know if this is a behavior choice that she is making, behavior choices that she has little to no control over, or what. I don't even know where to go from here.

 

[angel]

special diets maybe meds need changed

is she on any special diets? have you asked the doctor if the meds could be causing her to be acting out? I went through something like this when i was little because i was sick of going to the doctors and being poked and prodded ..... i actually took a bite outta a doctor for trying to give me my shots for school....
I had to go through some invasive test for kidneys sometimes very painful.... which made me angry...

love angel

 

[PurpleAngel]

No, she isn't on any special diets. And according to the Dr. she should not have any behavioral issues because the Depakote that she takes is what is given to children with behavior issues.

We are supposed to go in-patient next Monday for another vEEG, after her normal appointment, but I think that may be postponed due to her wanting to know more about the above issues. Or at least I can hope right?

I promised that I would never give up, but after dealing with the school and Drs. I am almost to the point of Let her fail and then when they come back asking why, I can say "didn't I tell you this a while ago??" I know I am coming across as a horrible mom at the moment and it makes me feel bad, but I don't know what else to do.

 

[speber]

Boy you got your hands full too!...

My daughter's name is Katie. She is 9 (just turned last month) and she is extremely defiant. The only difference between your story and mine is she will control herself around relative strangers (like doctors).
I haven't had her tested (her grades at school are acceptable) but at times we've wondered if we should.
She has us ready to give up sometimes, but somehow we've managed to trod on.
At this point we hope it will go away and we love her best we can.
I hope you can weather the storm!
Good Luck!
:rock:

 

[wonderdogs]

I am so sorry you are going through this. What about counseling for her AND you? It may be helpful to get to the root of her anger and you might learn how to cope with her behavior. Perhaps you can find a support group for mothers of learning disabled children.

 

[epileric]

She sounds a bit like me when I was a kid on certain AED's.

 

[angel]

TRY diet change

you might try changing her diet one of my children i have to keep on a organic diet he can have sugar just every once in a while(mostly fruit with whip cream for treat) organic only stay away from artificial food colorings ect ..... it helps with his temper moods he can be a real handful also... trust me ive wanted to give up myself a few times I refuse too put him add meds seems to me that diet has helped with his aggression..... when i read your post aside from the fact that my son doesn't have E he has slight cerebral palsy is very hyper, & and has learning disabilities w/ speech impairment....

stay strong and try to stay calm..... I know its hard... you might look into different diets for her talk to her doctors about them

http://www.neurosoup.com/healthyorganics.htm

hugs
angel

No, she isn't on any special diets. And according to the Dr. she should not have any behavioral issues because the Depakote that she takes is what is given to children with behavior issues.

We are supposed to go in-patient next Monday for another vEEG, after her normal appointment, but I think that may be postponed due to her wanting to know more about the above issues. Or at least I can hope right?

I promised that I would never give up, but after dealing with the school and Drs. I am almost to the point of Let her fail and then when they come back asking why, I can say "didn't I tell you this a while ago??" I know I am coming across as a horrible mom at the moment and it makes me feel bad, but I don't know what else to do.

 

[angel]

http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?xyzpdqabc=0&id=21&action=detail&ref=1796

Nutrition, Behavior, and Hyperactivity
A change in eating that is as strong as attention deficit drugs?! Researchers at the University of Southampton studied over 1800 three-year-old children, some with and some without ADHD, some with and some without allergies. After initial behavioral testing, all of the children got one week of a diet without any artificial food colorings and without any chemical preservatives. The children's behavior measurably improved during this week. But was this from the extra attention, from eating more fruits and vegetables, or from the absence of the preservatives and artificial colors? To answer this question, the researchers continued the diet, but gave the children disguised drinks containing either a mixture of artificial colorings and the preservative benzoate, or nothing - each for a week. The results were published in the June 2004 Archives of Diseases in Childhood. The weeks that children got the hidden colors and preservatives, their behavior was substantially worse. This held true whether or not they had been diagnosed with hyperactivity, and whether or not they had tested positive for allergies - good news for parents of 3 year olds everywhere! Removing artificial colors and preservatives from the diet was dramatically effective at reducing hyperactivity - somewhere between the effectiveness of clonidine and Ritalin, two common ADHD drugs. How much better to support children's mood and behavior with healthy food, than to just turn to drugs! Some children may still need medicine, but with a healthy diet, we may be able to use lower doses. And it seems to me that this diet may be better for all children, whether or not they have behavior problems.



love
angel

 

[RobinN]

I went to the EEG Institute yesterday to talk with them about neurofeedback. They are one of the sponsors here.
When I came home I read the diary they have posted on their website about their son, Brian. I think you should read it. You might see some similarities.

http://www.brianothmerfoundation.org/brianstory.htm