Im back from the neuro!

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Just for the record, I don't believe those with nonepileptic seizures are faking it. I think it is more like the brain automatically does it because stress is too intolerable. More like an automatic defense mechanism. This of course is only my theory, but I would never assume that someone would fake a seizure for attention if they had seizures without epilepsy.
 
I guess I have a phobia of being "wrong"..of stuff being my "fault". I've always had a little perfectionism in my personality and tend to try to do everything perfectly. So, to think some people (especially doctors) believe this way in light of good eeg reports, really bothers me. Mom, I admire your ability to not let this bother you, but it's hard for me to accept that I've caused all these problems. I much prefer to believe it's something out of my control and there's something never documented.

I've never had any of those fancy eeg's either, no video ones, none without meds, none sleep-deprived. The last one I had I remember worrying about falling asleep and I mentally was working hard to stay awake. Noone ever told me I was allowed to go to sleep. I'm wondering just how good the test was. The one I had when this all first started, I remember the dr. saying to my mom that there was something, but not unusual for my age. Now what the heck would that have meant?

I have a lot to discuss with new doctor in a couple weeks, if she will just let me.
 
For all the EEG's Ive had, I had to be sleep deprived with all of them. The EEGs Ive had for years growing up, would last about 45 minutes to an hour, and the night before I had to stay up til 4am, then getting 2 hours of sleep, and having to get up by 6am to get ready to go to the hospital for the EEG. My EEG's have always came up with slowing in my left temporal lobe area, and seeing spikes.

If there is things you want to discuss with your dr, then I would write them down and set up a time to talk to them about it.
 
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