My prayers are being answered

[tinasmom]

We saw a Neuropsychologist today and he told us that Nicole does not have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He is recommending an Occupational Therapist and an IEP for her. He told us that because Nicole cannot tell how she is feeling, she gets frustrated and will become like stone. I almost felt that he had spent a day in our house because he described her reactions perfectly. He wants to see her this summer and do some testing. I finally feel that my mountain is becoming a mole hill and eventually will be an ant hill. Between our new neuro and the neuropsych, we are finally making progress.

I am so happy that I found this site because I never knew what a neuropsych was before or how he could help us.

 

[Bernard]

I'm not sure I understood exactly what you were saying with regards the diagnosis, but I think it's awesome that you feel you are making progress in the right direction.

:woot:

 

[tinasmom]

She really does not know how to recognize what she is feeling. It's hard to explain except when he asked her what she felt and pointed to her chest, she said that she felt her heart beating. I was just so relieved to hear him describe how she can go from being just fine to getting frustrated and becoming like stone. He is going to send us a report and maybe then I can describe it better. This little girl of 6 has had to face so many things from the death of her mother to having seizures. I know that whenever she has a seizure, she gets scared because she has said that at the beginning of some of her seizures.

 

[RobinN]

I think I do... when my older son would become defiant, it was suggested that he had difficulty reading our moods. If he questioned whether or not we were angry, he would make us angry just so he knew for sure. When it was explained that way, I then understood his behavior. It is a wise person that sees the spirit in a positive light and not a negative. I enjoyed the book Raising a Spirited Child. Opened my eyes to quite a lot.

Glorious day when you find a doctor that makes sense.

 

[tinasmom]

Robin-

You just explained it perfectly, except that she cannot read her own moods and this is what causes her frustration and shut down. Thank you for the book reference, I'm going to find that book and buy it.

 

[RobinN]

It is like when small kids don't have words and when they are frustrated they bite what ever is closest to them. Usually another child.

What I liked best about the book, and there was a lot to like. The chapter when they list all the words that are used to describe a child like this, and then offer a postive word to take its place. That helped me see David in a new light.

Spirited children possess traits we value in adults, yet find challenging in children. Studies now show that these children are "wired" to be more reactive to the world around them. The solution, rather than medication or punishment, is understanding temperament and working with it.

I see now they have a work book too.

I don't want to paint a rosy picture on the difficulty of raising David, but he has turned into a fine young man. Still with similar traits, but as the quote above states, those traits are valued in adults and he is 22.

 

[tinasmom]

I wish that I had this information when I was raising my youngest daughter, Deidre, now. 19. I see so many of the same behaviors in Nicole that Deidre had. I tell people that Nicole is so much like Deidre when she was younger that you would think Nicole was her daughter and not Tina's. All of a sudden I am seeing so many things that are the same:

1. Nicole losing her mother - Deidre losing her grandmother, who she was very close to, 3 days after her 7th birthday.
2. Nicole moving into our home - Deidre losing a home with 2 parents. (We divorced)
3. Nicole having Epilepsy - Deidre having short term memory loss.

Have you seen the V8 commercials wher they thumped the person on the forehead? Right now I feel that someone just thumped me on the forehead and the lightbulb went on.

 

[RobinN]

yes I understand...
Reminds me of my favorite quote of all time:
We are expected to spill our milk, it is how we clean it up that matters.

If we were put on this planet with all of the answers before hand, what sense would that make? Though I do believe we are given these challenges for a reason.

What I would tell myself when I had had a bad day with David, and beat myself up... That the next day would be fresh and I could try again to get it right.

You are a wonderful grandma to take on all that you do.

 

[Birdbomb]

Half the battle is getting someone to listen!

I'm very happy for you. It's hard raising a family a second time. I am raising my grandaughters 7 & 4 and have had them since birth. The oldest one comes with a lot of baggage.

There are some days....I wish I could be an average grandmother...spoil them, stuff them with sweets, then send them home....(sigh)

I am bonded to them as much as my own children so it's really an interesting situation.

 

[brain]

Awesome News!

That's wonderful news to hear!

People do forget that Neuropsychologists
do provide counseling and guidance as
well, and that they just don't do neuro-
psychological tests. They can be like
"Social Workers" or "Guidance Counselors"
to the younger generation, and can be
"Support Assistance" to the adults.

When I was in Georgia - after the MVA
in 1988, when the Epilepsy Foundation
of Georgia was assisting me; they were
teaching me how to live safely, they
also had a Neuropsychologist who came
out a couple of times for support and
teaching me how to adjust and adapt.
The only regret was our stay in GA
was so short, I couldn't learn every-
thing up there. They were wonderful
folks, even when I wasn't! They had
patience working with me.

So it sounds like y'all have it all set
up wonderfully for this summer! I hope
and pray it will turn out to be a blessing
because it does take time and patience!

 

[PurpleAngel]

That is great that you are able to get some answers! I am still looking for some for my daughter...thinking this is going to be a LONG process filled with many days that Mom will cry herself to sleep.

 

[tinasmom]

I think that the best thing we can do is educate ourselves and not give up. We also have to find loopholes. Nicole is on my insurance and receives medical assistance as a secondary. Her medical assistance was the same provider as my insurance so I changed her medical assistance so that we would have more options. My insurance would not approve referrals that weren't in their circle of providers, so I just simply found a way around. The doctors under my insurance are not near as specialized as the ones I am using now. I actually work at our local hospital and there are only a few doctors in this health system that we even trust going to. It's so sad to think that the quality of care is not on the top of many health systems goals. They do try to tell to it is, but I know better.