Rest till Christ Comes

[DanaF]

Yesterday morning my beloved friend, Faye, died in her sleep of what we suspect was a grand mal seizure. She had been coping with epilepsy for quite a while and though she still had seizures every so often, they seemed to be under control. Her death is a complete shock to me and to all of her friends and family. It hasn't sunk in that she is gone. I last spoke to her Tuesday morning and we joked about her going back to school after Spring Break and all that we would do together once school was over for her in May. I keep expecting to wake up and find out that this is all a dream or mistake. She was one of the the most self-sacrificing and loyal friends I've ever had.

I have just now begun reading about epilepsy in depth and realizing how serious seizures can be. I also know that she had been taking less of her medicine than the full dosage to stretch it out since she had lost her job and didn't have medical insurance. She will truly be missed. My only comfort is that she had given her life to Christ and my hope is that if I am faithful, I will see her again when the Lord returns. I look forward to that great reunion. Until then I just pray for strength from God for all of us who love her and will miss her terribly.

 

[Birdbomb]

Welcome Dana,

I am so sorry about your friend. I have lost 2 good friends due to epilepsy, Margret, my best girlfriend when I was 19 and Riva 2 years ago, (who this forum is named after).

Just last month the best friend I ever had in my life died in his sleep, due to complication from diabeties.

I can understand your shock.

It's hard to lose vibrant, bubbly loved ones so suddenly. It's not fair, but give yourself time to grieve, time to cry, time to reflect and time to heal.

Many member here have lost loved ones and will share in your grief.

This site will help you understand more about epilepsy and then you can teach others.

 

[Bernard]

Condolences Dana. :rose:

It is always shocking when SUDEP claims a victim. :e:

 

[BuckeyeFan]

My deepest sympathy Dana.

Each life lost to epilepsy is one too many. Keep her in your memories by your actions throughout your life. We will be here for you when needed.

God Bless.

 

[skillefer]

Hi Dana. Welcome to CWE. I wish it weren't a sad occasion that brought you to us, but at least you've found a spot where we understand. SUDEP is a scary thought. and I'm sure your friend Faye probably never thought it would happen to her...or if she did, she probably didn't want to worry everyone around her. You have my sympathy. It's had to lose a friend....especially when it's due to SUDEP. Keep her memory alive in your life.

 

[DanaF]

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who posted comforting words. I really appreciate your kind words - it truly helps to know that there are people out there who understand what it is like to lose someone to SUDEP.

Day 2: It is finally sinking in that she is gone and I'm really starting to feel awful. I don't think I can handle going to her funeral but I know I will feel worse if I stay away. Is it okay to miss the funeral especially when everyone knew how close we were?

 

[Bernard]

Is it okay to miss the funeral especially when everyone knew how close we were?

Will you be able to forgive yourself down the road? That would be one of things I would regret myself. Attending the funeral is a way of honoring your friend.

 

[dfwtexas]

I am so sorry for your loss. It always makes me so sad when I hear of deaths from seizures. I know I have tried to explain to my family the danger of death from seizures, but they have trouble comprehending it.
I would attend her funeral if I were you, I know it will be hard. I have never regretted going to a funeral....but there were funerals I didn't attend that I have always regretted that I didn't go. It will help you with the grieving process, especially considering how close you were.
Prayers to you and your friends family

 

[Birdbomb]

Dana, something that helped me when my best friend died last month was writing a little about him. I did a little memorial about him much like a eulogy and felt so much better afterwards. We have not had any services for him, he didn't want a fuss made and his family is disfunctional so there are many nasty issues at the surface.

The lack of having services for him is quite unnerving for me personally. I'd like to have that sense of closure and the opportunity to cry my eyes out. But the family procrastinates. I miss him terribly but I also miss saying "good-bye" like I did with my parents in 2005.

Funerals are for the living. They give us an opportunity to tell others how we felt about that person and how they touched out lives. We have one last chance to celibrate their time with us. Funerals are also a way of passing into the next stage of grief. No one wants to get stuck in the grieving process.

Your reluctance to go is because you are till in shock. Funeral services solidify the fact our loved one has died and helps move us forward. I hope you reconsider and attend. In the long run, I think you will be glad you did.

Birdbomb

 

[DanaF]

Thanks again

Thanks for your encouragement. I know I would regret it if I don't go to her funeral (thanks to all who said as much) and I know she would want me to be there. As a matter of fact, the family has asked me to deliver a personal reflection of her during the funeral service. It is a great way to honor my friend. God bless to you all! What a wonderful support group you have here and it makes me feel so much better to know that people out there understand how I'm feeling. Maybe next week I will try to post my little speech here so you can all have a smile too. She was a really funny girl!

 

[BEYONDTHEMISTS]

My heart goes out to you. My mom died this Tuesday morning of complications due to Grand Mal seizure. She had a resulting stroke from it. We didn't know epilepsy could kill, we know now. She was 58. I am so lost without my mom.