Basically, i want to take a girl on a date. She has epilepsy and my idea was pumpkin picking then going to a haunted house or hay ride. But im afraid to take her to the hay ride/haunted house. Would a seizure trigger if there is flashing lights there? or an she possibly have a different form of epilepsy where the lights dont set it off? and if this idea is bad, do u have any suggestions? she has no idea that ik she has epilepsy.So me asking her this is a no go. How i know is irrelevant so if we could please focus on my concern that would be great thanks!
Questions about taking girl on date and epilepsy.
- Thread starter disco6
- Start date
Welcome to the Coping With Epilepsy Forums
Welcome to the Coping With Epilepsy forums - a peer support community for folks dealing (directly or indirectly) with seizure disorders. You can visit the forum page to see the list of forum nodes (categories/rooms) for topics.
Please have a look around and if you like what you see, please consider registering an account and joining the discussions. When you register an account and log in, you may enjoy additional benefits including no ads, access to members only (ie. private) forum nodes and more. Registering an account is free - you have nothing to lose!
epileric
Veteran
- Messages
- 4,499
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 163
Everyones seizures are triggered differently.
Rather than asking a group of people who've never met her before maybe you should be asking her what she likes. If flashing lights trigger her seizures then she probably won't like going somewhere with flashing lights.
Otherwise being overly concerned about her seizures can be pretty frustrating and insulting.
Rather than asking a group of people who've never met her before maybe you should be asking her what she likes. If flashing lights trigger her seizures then she probably won't like going somewhere with flashing lights.
Otherwise being overly concerned about her seizures can be pretty frustrating and insulting.
- Messages
- 5,800
- Reaction score
- 815
- Points
- 268
Defiantly don't be afraid to do anything with her just because she has epilepsy. You can't expect every date consist of sitting on the couch eating popcorn and watching a movie just because she might have a seizure when you are out.
I've had seizures when my husband and I have gone on dates and even just going to the grocery store. But we still do things not worrying about if I might have a seizure while were doing it.
I don't know if there is more than one haunted house in the area but you could tell her something like 'I heard from a friend/family member that there's this really neat haunted house where the rooms are dark then all of a sudden lights will go off and things will jump out'. If she says that doesn't sound like something she'd like to do then it's possible that lights might effect her or she just might not want to do it in general.
You can even just tell her about some things that are going on that you'd like to take her on a date for and let her choose.
Flashing lights/strobe lights have never effected me before. I am going to a concert tomorrow night that has a ton of strobe lights in it so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things don't change I'll be ok during it.
Hope you have a fun Halloween date!
I've had seizures when my husband and I have gone on dates and even just going to the grocery store. But we still do things not worrying about if I might have a seizure while were doing it.
I don't know if there is more than one haunted house in the area but you could tell her something like 'I heard from a friend/family member that there's this really neat haunted house where the rooms are dark then all of a sudden lights will go off and things will jump out'. If she says that doesn't sound like something she'd like to do then it's possible that lights might effect her or she just might not want to do it in general.
You can even just tell her about some things that are going on that you'd like to take her on a date for and let her choose.
Flashing lights/strobe lights have never effected me before. I am going to a concert tomorrow night that has a ton of strobe lights in it so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things don't change I'll be ok during it.
Hope you have a fun Halloween date!
Sandie
New
- Messages
- 315
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
I think your date sounds awesome. I don't think you need to worry. I doubt that the hay ride will affect her and if you go to the haunted house I am sure she will tell you if it is going to bother her but I suspect she will be fine. Most of us are epileptic on this forum and we all live as normal a life as we can. I am pretty sure she would enjoy what you have planned. I know I would.
- Messages
- 1,511
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
- 0
Yeah,believe it or not,just because we suffer from epilepsy.We can lead pretty normal lives.As said above im sure she will tell you what she can and can't do.Most off us just love to forget that we have epilepsy for a while,so give her a chance and be a man about it.Hope you have a good time and let us know how you get on,ok!
- Messages
- 759
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 0
There's some good info and advice about E, women, and dating in general lol *makes careful note*
I don't think I can add anything about that, but I would say this- is subterfuge really the best way to start a relationship?
I'm sure plenty of us have been in similar situations where it seems the best thing to do for all concerned is a tiny white lie of omission, but it never is- especially in matters of the heart.
Just ask yourself how you're going to react if she turns round and tells you she has E when you ask her about the date- surprised/cool/admit you already knew (which is 99% certain to P her off bigtime if she's just had to gather the courage up to tell you, and/or a friend has blabbed her 'secret' to you etc).
See what I'm getting at? You can either run the risk of hurting her there and then and wrecking it, or if that goes ok and you end up having a wonderfull relationship together, how long will you be prepared to carry that secret?
It's a tough call, but in this situation I think your best strategy is to ask her subtley what she would like to do and regardless of what she says, tell her there and then why you asked her.
Now that may break a friendship or have other bad consequences- I don't know- but at least you wont have lied to her while asking her out.
It could also have good unforseen consequences such as a) her seeing how much you really do care about her, and b) providing her with someone else to share the burden with.
Play it squarely. It may not work, but hopefully one day at least she'll respect you for being honest with her.
I don't think I can add anything about that, but I would say this- is subterfuge really the best way to start a relationship?
I'm sure plenty of us have been in similar situations where it seems the best thing to do for all concerned is a tiny white lie of omission, but it never is- especially in matters of the heart.
Just ask yourself how you're going to react if she turns round and tells you she has E when you ask her about the date- surprised/cool/admit you already knew (which is 99% certain to P her off bigtime if she's just had to gather the courage up to tell you, and/or a friend has blabbed her 'secret' to you etc).
See what I'm getting at? You can either run the risk of hurting her there and then and wrecking it, or if that goes ok and you end up having a wonderfull relationship together, how long will you be prepared to carry that secret?
It's a tough call, but in this situation I think your best strategy is to ask her subtley what she would like to do and regardless of what she says, tell her there and then why you asked her.
Now that may break a friendship or have other bad consequences- I don't know- but at least you wont have lied to her while asking her out.
It could also have good unforseen consequences such as a) her seeing how much you really do care about her, and b) providing her with someone else to share the burden with.
Play it squarely. It may not work, but hopefully one day at least she'll respect you for being honest with her.