Hi, so my neurologist has decided that I should pursue VNS surgery, since previous treatment methods aren't working consistently.
As for the actual surgery, that is getting cut open and all, I'm not bothered at all, the neurocenter here has some of the best surgeons in the world, and I'm related to two of them.
What has me nervous is the repercussions; if the VNS device is successful, that will mean I can really live my life again. Not dependent on medications, waking up in emergency rooms at random, not terrifying my girlfriend at the sight of me thrashing around on the floor. No more torn muscles, broken bones, cracked ribs. Perhaps most importantly, no more worrying about my memory deteriorating further.
I admit, I've become complacent. I'm used to living a boring life that consists mainly of drawing comic commissions for people, fixing up my house, writing software, etc. If I'm not dependent on those things anymore I'll be able to take on responsibilities again like driving a car. I haven't been behind a wheel in over a decade. It's, well, kind of scary.
Is this a rational fear?
As for the actual surgery, that is getting cut open and all, I'm not bothered at all, the neurocenter here has some of the best surgeons in the world, and I'm related to two of them.
What has me nervous is the repercussions; if the VNS device is successful, that will mean I can really live my life again. Not dependent on medications, waking up in emergency rooms at random, not terrifying my girlfriend at the sight of me thrashing around on the floor. No more torn muscles, broken bones, cracked ribs. Perhaps most importantly, no more worrying about my memory deteriorating further.
I admit, I've become complacent. I'm used to living a boring life that consists mainly of drawing comic commissions for people, fixing up my house, writing software, etc. If I'm not dependent on those things anymore I'll be able to take on responsibilities again like driving a car. I haven't been behind a wheel in over a decade. It's, well, kind of scary.
Is this a rational fear?