a best friends cry

crapo2kl

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Generose Ann Wilson was my everything. She was my heart my soul my answers to all my problems. She meant more to me than anyone else. When i got the call that she had passed away, i thought it was joke. No way at my life right now would i do going through such heartache. I can not sit here and type all the feelings I feel since that day because its impossible. I am 20 years old and I have lost the one person in my life I can not live without. I mean she was my everything. I loved her like a sister and she was pratically my sister. To this day I look to her family for support. I have no clue how to live my life as if i am fine with everything. It has been seven months since I lost her and it never gets any easier. I think about her all the time and now I dont even sleep because I do not want to dream of her anymore. I dont feel her around me and I sit by my door wishing she would walk into my room and come back to me. I swear i would never let her go if she came back. All i want is to be with her, I think about how i dont even want to live without her in my life. I think how happy i was with her and how no one will ever make me that happy ever. I have this emptyness in me that i just dont know how to get rid of. its like she honestly stole my heart and i cant love again. I get sick every 22 of every month just thinking of how hard this day is going to be for the rest of my life.

sometime i just wish i could be with.
maybe if i was i would be able to smile again and enjoy my life.

but i cant smile and act like everything is okay.
the truth is I lost my heart on that day of JUne 22 2007.

i lost my hope, my future, my friend, but most of all my everything.
 

Birdbomb

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You may want to consider grief counsling to help you through this. It's so painful to lose someone close.

 

Bernard

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Condolences on losing your best friend. I'm sure Generose was blessed to have close friend like you.

:e:
 

skillefer

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From what you've written, she sounds like she was a fantastic person. But I have to ask...do you think she would want you to feel this bad and this depressed? Because she loved you, wouldn't she want you to live life and enjoy it?
 

tinasmom

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Sometimes dreams are a good thing. After losing my daughter, I had nightmares for a long time. We did go to a grief group that was very helpful, because grief lasts a lifetime. I remember the relief I felt after one dream that I had about my daughter. She was standing at the door and I asked her where she had been and she said "Mom, I'm OK" and now I know that I will see her again in heaven. It was like a huge burden was taken off my shoulders. Your friend will always be with you in memories and your heart.
 

brain

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Please accept my sympathies on the loss of
your loved one!
 

Meetz1064

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Please accept my condolences on the loss of your best friend. I know it is hard.......I have been there myself a couple of times.

As the old saying goes, and yes, it IS cliche', Time heals old wounds. Generose would want you to go on. Please get some grief couseling so that you can. It will help you immensely.

(((((gentle hugs)))))

Meetz
 
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I also offer a great deal of sympathy for your suffering and pain. Perhaps the grief counseling could help you cope with this as others here suggested.
We have a free grief center for people who have lost loved ones in my area. The people who have gone there find comfort in knowing other people have also suffered.
There is also a phone number 1-800-contact which has counselors 24 hrs a day and 7 days a week.
I have lost loved ones. I will never, ever forget them. Generose will be one of those special people who left a profound impact on you, even if her life was shortened. I believe in eternal life. Generose's soul lives on in your soul and everybody else that you influence. I believe that Generose is in heaven. Dr. Moody's book on 'Life After Life' is a great book for you to read. It was written a long time ago about how people are aware of their physical surroundings even though they are technically dead. Generose is still with you.
 
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Amy

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It sounds exactly like how I feel about my dearest mom's demise. It has been almost 2 years, but the grief is so fresh and new. I just can't even believe that I am alive for more than an year, after she passed away. I was / am that connected & love her so much.
My migrain head aches started... I was so depressed all the time, crying all the time, felt awfully lonely as if I am alone in the whole entire world. I started to meditate... she is now so connected to me, comes in my dreams often, I feel a lot better now because I know she is with me all the time. As someone else had mentioned, it is very true. Please believe in that. I hope you feel better. Definitely if you want her soul to be happy, then you need to live a reasonably peaceful life... I know exactly how hard it is without her physical presence. BUT, have been there. and just to assure you... IT IS possible. Dear ones' soul would be around you, just that we can't see.
If you don't believe in my words, you can watch the psychic " sylvia brown's" show in channel 2 KTUV montel william's show. You can see how people are moved in her show..
Best wishes, AMy
 

tinasmom

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Today at church, our topic was "How can a good God allow so much suffering?" He started the sermon talking about losing our loved ones. The one thing that he said that really stuck with me is this: "Grief is a love word." It sure makes sense because without love, there would not be grief. I know that I will never stop grieving my daughter, but that's ok because it means that I will never stop loving her.
 
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