Afraid of loosing my job.

Matthew74

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I got a good part time job at the library. Nobody knows I have epilepsy. I am doing very well. Mostly everything is great, except for what isn't. I won't go into the details, but basically there is a combination of bad management and personal issues making a wreck of everything. This is 100% not my fault. I would admit it if it were. I am doing a good job. I've been dealing with it the best I can. I am being accommodating and patient, but it's reached a point where it's not going to go away, and will only get worse. Policies are in place to make it worse. Two people have quit in the two months I've been there.

The most basic problem is that my supervisor is NEVER in my building. In two months I think that they have been present maybe 3 days, and that was right at the beginning. They don't know me at all, and do not see my work. However, they consistently believe the worst they hear about me, and then hassle me about it. People talk behind my back. I thought that maybe sooner or later my supervisor would get to know me and everything would be ok. I don't know if that will happen, but I know I'm not going to make it. I don't have the mental resources to deal with the situation. I've missed two days in two weeks because of stress. I had two entirely sleepless nights. I can't calm down today.

I would simply quit because I can't deal with the unnecessary stress, but it's not so easy. Apart from this issue it would be a really good job. One of the people that quit was full-time, and I would be the most logical candidate to fill that role, but I won't get promoted if my supervisor thinks I am a "problem". I called human resources and talked to some of the disability people. I didn't give them details yet. It only came to a crisis point yesterday. I don't know how to proceed. I'm really angry because I don't want to make this an ADA issue, and I do not want it known that I have epilepsy and a brain tumor, but I may have no choice. That's wrong, you should not be forced to self identify. I don't want to get in to a "fight" with anyone AT ALL, but they are really pushing it. I don't want to give up, but I don't think I have the mental energy to deal with it. I certainly do not want to end up in the emergency room with seizures.
 

Porkette

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Hi Matthew,
I'm so sorry for all you are going through at work. I can relate to it after working in public school for 35 yrs. What you need to do is start documenting everything that's going on. Write down the date, time, where it happened and people around the area that you know that could
have seen the matter, then of course write down what happened. On top of that any extra things you do on your job be sure to document
that along with the date and time. I did this while working in the school and take my word administrators don't like it at all because it shows
they aren't doing their job.
In regards to your supervisor not being around you need to find out who is your supervisors boss and speak to that person and if they
don't do anything report the both of them to the very head of the library. I had to do this with 3 or 4 teachers and 3 were fired and the
4th on transfered to another school. I was always open at work about my epilepsy and I had many seizures while I was at work but
then never fired me. Don't back down you are doing a great job and you like your job so don't let others ruin it for you.
I wish you only the best of luck and May God Bless You,

Sue
 

Nakamova

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Even without health issues, a toxic workplace can be devastating.
Sue has some good suggestions Matthew, I hope you are able to follow up on them and get some response.
 

Matthew74

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Thanks. They don't understand just how threatening these situations can be when your livelihood is so precarious. I was so worked up about it I nearly went to the hospital with anxiety.

There was some resolution to the situation today. I did talk to the head of the Library, she actually came to me. I felt much better after speaking to her. I also spoke with my supervisor and boss. I think they understand me and the situation much better.

The real problem is that they passively encourage a tattle-tale culture, and tend to believe what people tell them. Then they neglect to inquire further or consider things in context. We have some busy bodies, and perhaps one or two who are a little bit more vindictive. The result is a lot like having "informants" everywhere. You don't know what people are saying about you, or who to trust. You are afraid to do anything. I don't know why people have to be so mean.

I think I really messed up today with Human Resources though. I spilled all the beans about my condition, and a bit more. I wanted to be more reticent, but I just lost it. Oh, well.... :rolleyes:
 

Porkette

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Hi Matthew,

I'm glad that you spoke with the supervisior and the head boss of the Library That way they will know both sides of the store.
While working in public school I learned to keep quiet about what was going on at work and home. As far as telling Human Resources
about your condition I feel you did the right thing that way they can't come back on you and lay you off do to your health or you
could have legal action against them. This is what I did when I was first hired in public school. I told Human Resources, all the teachers
I worked with along with all the students I worked with that way they would know what was going on if I had a seizure.
I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue
 

Porkette

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I agree with Sabbo that way if a person is hired for the job and that person is open about their epilepsy
the employer can't come back on the person and lay them off do to the seizures.
 

Matthew74

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This is a whole different subject, but I don't tell people because I have had so many problems with it. When I was a kid I wanted to be really open about it. I gave a presentation to the whole class. However, my experience has been pretty negative overall. Even when I was in school, the problems came entirely from adults. Certain people have been great, others not so much. Even when I tell people, it is more likely to be misleading than helpful. I would much rather deal with having a seizure, everyone staring at me, the paramedics, and the whole 9 yards, than how I sometimes get treated after telling them. The paramedics and everything would probably happen either way. It's not necessarily that they're mean or anything, it's just that a lot of people don't handle it very well.

On the other hand you could say that I confuse them anyhow...which is one reason that I end up in "coaching" sessions with my supervisor. My brain has some issues, and they're like "What's is wrong with you???" - even when it's not a big deal. Sometimes I want to get a mug that says, "I have a brain tumor. What's your excuse?"

I enthusiastically support anyone who is open about it. I think that's awesome. If it's your decision I think it's great. I did notify my supervisor that I was applying for ADA accommodations.
 

Sabbo

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I've often felt my parents tried to hide that I had seizures when I was younger/unmarried--especially within their Pakistani friends. The fact that my epilepsy wasn't diagnosed until I was 14 didn't really help, either.
 
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