I don't necessarily have a diagnosis for nocturnal epilepsy itself. Of course I've had many other types over the course of my life, but I often wonder the best way to deal with them?
Often times, my seizures would happen of a morning. I'd get up for school and get ready while in a daze I didn't realize. I'd take the bus, walk, or get dropped off at school by getting a ride in. Little did anyone know, I was having seizures, but of course they wouldn't recognize it as I didn't convulse on the floor. Due to the slow onset of my seizures, I wondered if at times they started the night before and slowly got worse during the day until it reached an extreme point.
Back in high school, the first time I remember having a seizure at night, it was about 3 a.m. and as a night owl teenager I was up on the computer late at night...again. I went to lay down in my bed, quietly not to wake anyone else. Once in bed, I remember laying down, looking at the ceiling, and suddenly I was having a nightmare. I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't lift my arms. What was this madness? I think to myself, "I'm going to sit up and find out what's going on." So, I try to lift my arms, but I can't. They have minds of their own. I attempt to lift my head...impossible. I'm thinking, "What do I do?" So, I did all that I could - lay there. After a point, I must've blacked out again because I remember waking up on my side, in the middle of my bed at the edge - almost about to fall on the floor, curled up in the fetal position. I wake up thinking, "What happened?" I wanted to sit up, but suddenly my heart stops - I can't breathe in more air, it's impossible, my body won't allow it. I feel the last breath of air escaping my lungs, unable to get anymore. I try to scream to my mom for help, but no sound comes out. I thought, "Think is the end. I'm really dying." and I never knew what it was like to have your life "flash before your eyes" until that moment.
Some time later that night, by a miracle, I woke up again. I was breathing. I didn't know how long it had been, which was crazy scary. I am almost too terrified to fall back asleep, but I know I must. I move up to where my pillow was and I find that no pillow was there. Some how it was wedged between the mattress and my metal bed frame. I pull it out, but throw it on the floor because I'm definitely not going to be best friends with my pillow that night. I will sleep without. I did want my blanket, though, but would only cover the lower half of my body. As long as my feet are covered, I'm good. I go to get my blanket, and it's at the foot of the bed, wedged between the metal frame and the mattress. How were these things possible? I don't know! I pulled the blanket so hard, I fell backwards retrieving it. It was literally stuck, but I pulled it up without it snagging on something and ripping. My primary care doctor was told about this incident, but she didn't seem to take it seriously as there were no witnesses and no one saw it, but she suggested I follow up with my neurologist. At that time, my neurologist was different than the one I see now, but she didn't seem to take it all that seriously, either.
When I was younger, I remember having weird dreams, where I could tell in my sleep I was probably having a non-convulsive seizure as I was able to control my dream, but my thought process felt so dumbed down, I suppose I could say. I would think one thing and correct myself and think something more ridiculous.
As an adult now, my husband has noticed I've been restless at night at times. He says I don't look comfortable in my sleep. I moved quite a bit - but he said it didn't look like convulsions, but my facial muscles would tighten and things like that. I've told my neurologist about it and had no problems after getting back on medication, but now...
This week, I think I might have had more nocturnal seizures.
One night, my eyes were closed and I felt like my body was trembling and I was able to open my eyes once or twice for short periods of time, but I couldn't get up and do anything. I also had bad dreams that I was convulsing. Another night, I had constant dreams - one after the other. In one of them, I was at the grocery store and I suddenly fell to the ground and had a convulsive seizure. No one helped me, I was alone. The next dream, I was at another location, but not sure where, and I knew something was wrong. I fumbled about in my purse, trying to find my benzodiazepine before it was too late, but I didn't make it and fell into a seizure again. The dream I had right after that, I was feeling strange, I got into my purse, and popped a benzodiazepine under my tongue and thought, "Okay. I'm okay. It's all right. Everything will be all right. I will be tired, but...I will recover." It was interesting how these consecutive dreams went from no help is coming - I'm helpless to there is hope, but I was to late to finally, I have what I need, I will be okay. I seem to have dreams that tell me I'm having seizures at night. I don't think they're wrong, either, because I also feel the other effects like convulsions, unable to open the eyes, unable to get up, unable to find the words to get help, unable to pick up my phone and call my husband's phone so he'd wake up.
I figure it's frequent this week due to my menstrual cycle. That time of month is always a week of brain fog for me, it's awful. I'm seriously prone with the hormone shifts, I suppose. It's been this way for a long time.
Although, when I'm in bed and realize no one's coming to my aid because they're all asleep and they don't know I am having seizures. What can I do? How can I get help? What will help?
Often times, my seizures would happen of a morning. I'd get up for school and get ready while in a daze I didn't realize. I'd take the bus, walk, or get dropped off at school by getting a ride in. Little did anyone know, I was having seizures, but of course they wouldn't recognize it as I didn't convulse on the floor. Due to the slow onset of my seizures, I wondered if at times they started the night before and slowly got worse during the day until it reached an extreme point.
Back in high school, the first time I remember having a seizure at night, it was about 3 a.m. and as a night owl teenager I was up on the computer late at night...again. I went to lay down in my bed, quietly not to wake anyone else. Once in bed, I remember laying down, looking at the ceiling, and suddenly I was having a nightmare. I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't lift my arms. What was this madness? I think to myself, "I'm going to sit up and find out what's going on." So, I try to lift my arms, but I can't. They have minds of their own. I attempt to lift my head...impossible. I'm thinking, "What do I do?" So, I did all that I could - lay there. After a point, I must've blacked out again because I remember waking up on my side, in the middle of my bed at the edge - almost about to fall on the floor, curled up in the fetal position. I wake up thinking, "What happened?" I wanted to sit up, but suddenly my heart stops - I can't breathe in more air, it's impossible, my body won't allow it. I feel the last breath of air escaping my lungs, unable to get anymore. I try to scream to my mom for help, but no sound comes out. I thought, "Think is the end. I'm really dying." and I never knew what it was like to have your life "flash before your eyes" until that moment.
Some time later that night, by a miracle, I woke up again. I was breathing. I didn't know how long it had been, which was crazy scary. I am almost too terrified to fall back asleep, but I know I must. I move up to where my pillow was and I find that no pillow was there. Some how it was wedged between the mattress and my metal bed frame. I pull it out, but throw it on the floor because I'm definitely not going to be best friends with my pillow that night. I will sleep without. I did want my blanket, though, but would only cover the lower half of my body. As long as my feet are covered, I'm good. I go to get my blanket, and it's at the foot of the bed, wedged between the metal frame and the mattress. How were these things possible? I don't know! I pulled the blanket so hard, I fell backwards retrieving it. It was literally stuck, but I pulled it up without it snagging on something and ripping. My primary care doctor was told about this incident, but she didn't seem to take it seriously as there were no witnesses and no one saw it, but she suggested I follow up with my neurologist. At that time, my neurologist was different than the one I see now, but she didn't seem to take it all that seriously, either.
When I was younger, I remember having weird dreams, where I could tell in my sleep I was probably having a non-convulsive seizure as I was able to control my dream, but my thought process felt so dumbed down, I suppose I could say. I would think one thing and correct myself and think something more ridiculous.
As an adult now, my husband has noticed I've been restless at night at times. He says I don't look comfortable in my sleep. I moved quite a bit - but he said it didn't look like convulsions, but my facial muscles would tighten and things like that. I've told my neurologist about it and had no problems after getting back on medication, but now...
This week, I think I might have had more nocturnal seizures.
One night, my eyes were closed and I felt like my body was trembling and I was able to open my eyes once or twice for short periods of time, but I couldn't get up and do anything. I also had bad dreams that I was convulsing. Another night, I had constant dreams - one after the other. In one of them, I was at the grocery store and I suddenly fell to the ground and had a convulsive seizure. No one helped me, I was alone. The next dream, I was at another location, but not sure where, and I knew something was wrong. I fumbled about in my purse, trying to find my benzodiazepine before it was too late, but I didn't make it and fell into a seizure again. The dream I had right after that, I was feeling strange, I got into my purse, and popped a benzodiazepine under my tongue and thought, "Okay. I'm okay. It's all right. Everything will be all right. I will be tired, but...I will recover." It was interesting how these consecutive dreams went from no help is coming - I'm helpless to there is hope, but I was to late to finally, I have what I need, I will be okay. I seem to have dreams that tell me I'm having seizures at night. I don't think they're wrong, either, because I also feel the other effects like convulsions, unable to open the eyes, unable to get up, unable to find the words to get help, unable to pick up my phone and call my husband's phone so he'd wake up. I figure it's frequent this week due to my menstrual cycle. That time of month is always a week of brain fog for me, it's awful. I'm seriously prone with the hormone shifts, I suppose. It's been this way for a long time.
Although, when I'm in bed and realize no one's coming to my aid because they're all asleep and they don't know I am having seizures. What can I do? How can I get help? What will help?