Enjoying Epilepsy? 😊

[seetseet]

Hiya Everyone,
I have a weird question- I have struggled with epilepsy (I have had it since 2012 , I am 32 now), depression etc
I crashed and burned late last year- but at the same time I became AWARE of my epilepsy and WHAT the experience actually felt like (obviously not the grand mals where I get to smash my face, freak out my family) but I am talking about the anxiety, the scents, the deja vu's- the ones you can keep secret...
So it helped me to get through the anxiety and panic attacks to know.it will end because it is epilepsy and not forever.

But the other thing I realised it that I experience the complete opposite as well- euphoria! and that feeling that everything makes perfect sense- life is good and that it doesn't matter what happens because everything is the way it should be!
When I first realised this- I was super scared I was going to have a big sezuire and tried to get away from my hubby (because he cant take the grand mal and he freaks)
BUT now seetseet does something weird these days - I keep them a secret and I actually enjoy them- I take in my surroundings, breathe the air, enjoy the people- I have actually called my husband multiple times telling him how happy and awesome things are (he probably thinks i am weird, because i dont tell him its my brain) i must look like a complete idiot walking around a city where people are grumpy in general (Budapest, Hungary) and I actually just LIVE it enjoy it and not give a crap if people think I am weord for smiling and being nice.
and I always think that people have to pay money and ruin their health and families to get this massive serotonine happy boost when I get mine for free !
And even with the deja vu's and scents, I have started to enjoy them- they are interesting- i have tried to tell and explain it to my husband- but he freaks out- so i dont tell him anymore-
So i thought I would share it here
I'd love to hear any opinions and stories share away and thanks for your time

 

[Cint]

It sounds to me that you have the mood swings that go along with epilepsy. And for women, hormones DO play a huge part in the seizures and moods as do the meds.....
I've experienced deep, deep depression and euphoria as well.... all after I started having seizures when I was 22 years of age. Now at 61 years young and trying many AEDs and anti-depressants as well as the VNS, I don't have those mood swings.

Keep on enjoying those 'massive serotonine boosts'. They don't last forever! Your body and hormones change with time.

 

[Porkette]

Hi seetseet,

Mood swings often go along with epilepsy as Cint mentioned and also seizure meds can cause mood swings sometimes. The scents you smell are called a aura or simple partial seizure. It often happens to me right before I have a complex partial seizure. I started having seizure when I was 10 yrs. old and I'm 56 now.
Serotonin can sometimes help a persons seizures decrease and at other times it can increase the seizure for some people. There's less serotonin in the fall and winter where I live so I have more seizures then compared to the spring and summer. I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue