Finding a guy

valeriedl

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It's been a little over year since I got a divorce and I want to start dating again. I don't have any trouble talking to guys, I might even be the one who starts the conversation. I don't have trouble telling them I have epilepsy and don't work or drive because of it.

The only problem is that I'll have trouble getting out there to do it. My friends live about half and hour away, have full time jobs and younger kids. It's not that easy to get together with them and if we do it's usually for lunch. I have two cousins that live about half and hour away and see each other mostly for the same reasons as my friends We really only see each other at family a get together, . My brother, who is married, lives next door. His wife isn't a people person at all, she's the one who hides in the corner and doesn't talk to anyone and I know she wouldn't go out. I'm not too sure how she'd feel about my brother and I going out together. I don't know it would be hard for my brother, he works a crazy job schedule.

When I go out it's usually with my parents. I'm in my early 40's and had to move back home with my parents. I really hate telling a guy that's who I'm with, "Hi I'd like to introduce you to my mom/dad. Want to buy us both a drink?" Plus there's no privacy here in my parents house either. My dad doesn't want guys in my bedroom with me, even with the door open, still sees me as a little girl. I had seen a guy a few times but because of his work schedule and really only being able to get together at his house was hard so it only lasted a few dates.

Any ideas?
 

Loopy Lou

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If you ever find out the answer, please let me know. My first serious relationship was my only one, and now entering year ten of the "ahem" dry spell :LOL:

I think i'm well settled into spinsterhood at 33!
 

Porkette

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Hi Valeriedl,

By chance is there any way you can catch a bus or get transportation service where they will pick you up at home and drop you
off where you want to go and then you just tell the co. what time to pick you up. I have that here in my area and it's called Gadabout.
I have to pay $2.00 to $3.00 when I use the service it depends on where I go. You may want to check into something like that.
I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue
 

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I feel everyone's pain... except... I'm a guy 😳🤷🏻‍♂️

Anyway.... I'm on year 10 myself, in my mid-30s... I still live with my parents and have to take care of an ill father. Plus (of course) the all dreaded "no transportation."

"Hi! This is my mom! Mom this is _______ (her name)!" Then who knows what from there. Wanna meet my father who is dying from cancer and can barely get to the bathroom? So mom, I'm going where ever with ______.

Okay, just don't stay out too late honey! 😀

😳🙄

However, I technically do have Uber and Lyft etc so I wouldn't have to see her with my mom. Still, so awkward...

One of the major setbacks for me is that I have ZERO energy to do anything else for myself. Between taking care of my dad all day (every day), all of the other chores (ie dishes, trash, pets, grocery shopping w/my mom etc) and then of course the side effects of the meds I take for myself (ie drowsiness). All I wanna do is is lay down and rest. How romantic 😂

Lastly, I feel your pain with friends. I USED TO chat with them all the time on FB. However, it eventually got to the point to where they literally just stopped responding even though they were online. Fine. Screw you too... plus I'm about 30 minutes from anything "fun" as well. And lastly, as you pointed out, everyone has their own lives and really don't care to talk to you. They have kids. They have jobs. They have bills to pay. Blah blah blah. 😒 Then it turns back to "Great... my parents are my ONLY 'friends' since they 'love me'"...

I try to stay positive about the whole situation. At least I DO have loving parents and they help me etc. It could be worse. Some days are definitely better/easier than others. I could be homeless etc.
 

Nakamova

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Valerie, maybe you should date a limo driver. :)

Are there groups or clubs (like hiking, photography, whatever) that you could join and meet people that way? You might be able to get rides from other members so you wouldn't be dependent on your parents.
 

valeriedl

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I feel everyone's pain... except... I'm a guy 😳🤷🏻‍♂️

Anyway.... I'm on year 10 myself, in my mid-30s... I still live with my parents and have to take care of an ill father. Plus (of course) the all dreaded "no transportation."

"Hi! This is my mom! Mom this is _______ (her name)!" Then who knows what from there. Wanna meet my father who is dying from cancer and can barely get to the bathroom? So mom, I'm going where ever with ______.

Okay, just don't stay out too late honey! 😀
This really made me laugh, hope you don't mind! I know my parents don't really like me going out with people I don't know too well because they are afraid of me having a seizure and not being there. I tell them that I'll be ok and let the person I'm with know what to do. They still see me as 'Their little girl' not only just 'Daddy's'.

Valerie, maybe you should date a limo driver. :)

Are there groups or clubs (like hiking, photography, whatever) that you could join and meet people that way? You might be able to get rides from other members so you wouldn't be dependent on your parents.
I've started looking into clubs around the area. Most of them are for people much younger or older than I am. Most are for just one particular thing - like golf, crafts, bowling, dance, sports etc.... I just want one for getting together with people, talking and seeing if you have something in common. There was one that was a yacht club, maybe I could join that and date a guy who owns the yacht and the limo? 😁
 

Army Vet

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This really made me laugh, hope you don't mind! I know my parents don't really like me going out with people I don't know too well because they are afraid of me having a seizure and not being there. I tell them that I'll be ok and let the person I'm with know what to do. They still see me as 'Their little girl' not only just 'Daddy's'.
valeriedl, it is my honor that you laughed. That was part of the reason I wrote it. Not only to be able to laugh at it, but also show you that you're not alone. I have VERY similar downfalls (ie living with parents still; not being allowed to really do anything etc). However I also wanted to remind people that you technically could have it worse (hence my last paragraph). Goes back to my favorite saying, "You don't realize what you have until you don't have it."

I'm glad you got a kick out of it ☺
 

C0urt

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you will find what you need, the laws of averages are in your favor, someone needs to get their bits wet
 

truegrit

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Just like you I had the same problem I finally tried online dating. (there are some decent sites Catholic match, Christen singles, etc). They are usually the ones with a fee. I finally ended up dating a nurse for a while.
 
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