Friend's Baby Shower

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zombelina

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This is not epilepsy-related...more of just a silly social conundrum.

I am at the age where a lot of friends are having babies. My very close friend who lives far away recently had a baby and I've been trying to send her supplies and things that she needs.

I have another friend, who I am not all that close with but is in my group of friends and I see and talk to her from time to time. She is pregnant and having a baby shower in April. I RSVPd "no" to the shower because I have other commitments and it's just not really a priority for me. But I still feel like I am supposed to send a gift. This second friend has very expensive taste based on the gifts she is asking for.

This seems silly, but I know she has no true need for baby gifts, and I'd rather continue to help my close friend when possible than give something expensive to this other girl. But I don't want to cause any problems or seem rude because I do like her and enjoy spending time with her. I know it is customary to send a gift when someone invites you to their shower. Any ideas?

Thanks!
 
I think you're off the hook in terms of gift-giving for the OtherMomToBe since you're not attending the shower. (Even if you attended her baby shower you wouldn't be obligated to provide a gift, expensive or otherwise, but that's can be a lot more awkward to navigate). You're under no obligation to fund her baby care. A nice card wishing her well would be fine, or maybe you could send flowers to the shower event? That's can be a less-expensive way to show you care. (BTW as a rule, the shower honoree is supposed to make sure her wishlist/registry includes a wide range of items so that attendees can find an option within their spending range. )

I don't think you will come off as rude. If OtherMomToBe holds the lack of a gift against you then, then she's being kinda petty.
 
Thank you! I know it seems like a small thing, but it was something I needed objective advice about.
 
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