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have you ever had a conversation with someone while postictal or during a seizure
I try bringing it up with my counselor/psychiatrist but the topic doesn't go anywhere, primarily I guess because of my lack of clarity on the timeframe. But there is an incessant "wrong" I associate with the timeframe, an invasion, to the point it feels at times like I'm being monitored as well, which is strange considering this timeperiod was at a hospital in severe pain.
It may have originated in something as simple as the typical postictal EMS or hospital questions: "what's your name, do you know where you are..." but the overall feeling of invasion has been persistent since that time and I'm not sure what to do about it and it has been eating away at me.
Is this type of thing a common occurrence? Do you think it could be aura-related itself?
When Kait was trying to recall the events of her seizure (before/after) she said she remembers some guy (EMT) talking to her..she said in her mind she knew she didnt know him and she said that she was answering him but he kept asking the same question over again as if he didnt hear her (she wasnt talking) She said she thought she was dreaming. It wasnt until several hours later that she was alert and oriented enough for some things to click into place. She still says it was like a dream...you know those really good/bad dreams that you think "WOW!! I gotta remember that one" but moments after you're fully awake the memory of the dream is gone, you know it was good but dang it thats all you can remember. At this point she doesnt remember much but if I say something about it she will look at me with a quizical look and go "oh yeah' like she remembers but I dont think she does. I think it triggers something but it still doesnt connect all the dots.
I think it's that thing that I still have problems with. It's like seeing people "I'm in real life, remember me from invading your dreams when you were a:in extraordinary pain, or b: so out of it unable to wake up?"
and I'm like -wtf-, these people are controlling my mind
that is not a good feeling
like, when I'm asleep normally, regardless of how tired I am I still have the ability to get up, like, setting my alarm for those times I need to catch a flight at 6 a.m., so I set the alarm for 4 a.m. - and regardless of how tired, I can still force myself to wake up
then there are times after a seizure where I've gotten those people in my face, and it is just impossible to wake up - period
so it's like there becomes this 'between' zone of lucid/awake-dream state...
maybe her quizzical look isn't failure to recall the events - it may be a "yeah I remember my dream, how the f*** do YOU remember MY dream?" look
and just until lately have I started figuring out how to be chilled out in these situations - and they've usually been bad "dreams"
pain, mental invasion, 'psychic phenomenon', lucid/wake states don't make for good dreams for me
sometimes it feels like a cult-ish brainwashing effect - there must be a point where the person's mind is in a halfway state between cogent and brainwashed where they're still able to think both ways and know something is screwed up - maybe in the fourth or fifth day of no sleep or food
and maybe it feels like that - where my body/mind is so tired (day four, for example) and the cult leaders are still screaming/blaring music/chanting/whatever and you are so tired you can't stay awake, but the interruptions are so jarring...
that's a bit what the EMTs have seemed like
brainwashed into the cult of "sir can you hear me? can you tell me who the President is?"
(I hear I was asked that (I vaguely recall the period visually) Sept.2008 when I was diagnosed, and I was swearing up and down it was Reagan... which apparently was not correct lol)
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