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Old 11-11-2009, 12:30 AM
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My spiritual awakenings during seizures


thought I would jot down a few things here to share, see what you guys have experienced and/or think.

Whenevr I havea complex partial ... sometimes perhaps simple partial I have spiritual experiences.. that they call psychic seizures.

Some of the things I experience, apart from not being able to talk during these times, that make it all the more frightening.

I get a burning sensation on my forehead that spreads through my body. I have come to the conclusion this burning sensation on my forehead is what they call the 3rd eye. After this I can see anything from demons (black shadows). These demons let out a dreaded fear. The fear comes from them, its not a human fear, its a presence of fear outside of me.. coming from these beings...and its terrifying.

Sometimes I feel as though Im comig out of my body... on one occassion I did. I try to stop this, but I never know if it works. On one occassion, I felt as though I was everywhere, no longer confined to my body, but everything around me...EVERYTHING, it was such a god-like experience, that this also terrified me and I ran out on the street.

Only twice have I had a euphoric one....along with everything looking very colourful around me.

As a christian, I can only come to the conclusion perhaps they are demons, and for sure ....listen ... WE ARE NOT THE ONLY BEINGS WALKING THIS EARTH. there are others.. and they themselves are fear...and they dont mean any good.

I also believe, that most christians who claim to have seen demons, and cast out demons are full of BS. I say this, because...once you have seen into this realm, you realize how gastly, and terrifying, and evil it is that you will do anything you can to avoid ever stepping into it, or seeing it again.

I will never forget my experiences, I dread another. I dont know why I have seen these things....but I dont brag about it like other christians do... probably because they are lying.

I dont even want to post this message, because Im so afraid of speaking or telling others incase they come to visit me again...via a seizure.
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Old 11-11-2009, 02:14 AM
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Vapour,

I've had spiritual experiences with E as well and there have been times that I've gotten so wrapped up in them that I would really believe certain things. For example: I thought G-d was talking to me through the clouds or after RTL G-d was talking thru me and MANY a nights I would wake up and see dark shadows and couldn't move (sleep paralysis or perhaps partial seizures - prior to me being diagnosed with E) that I felt demons were holding me down or the notation that something really bad was about to happen. Or the mornings I would wake up and just stare at my bed perplexed as to what happened in my sleep (prior to be diagnosed), was I abducted by aliens? Or the time I felt like energy or light was shooting through my whole body (from head to toe) and felt connected, but my limbs were merely in the way of this because they were holding me back because without them I was FREE to fly, etc.

I've come to the conclusion, at least for myself, that these experiences are of our own minds and not necessarily spiritual but rather neurological. Today I dismiss the whole spiritual episodes because it's simply not logical or even rational. Our brains can play games on us, especially those with E and it's our emotions (fear or euphoria) that gives us a sense that it's real and it's truly happening. Many times we tend to attach ourselves to our emotions when in fact it's simply an emotion and will pass, if we don't allow ourselves to get so caught up in it. I loved the whole euphoria G-d stuff because it made me feel good and it seemed so incredibly real, but I've opted to choose logic and that it's neurological. The demon ones (I was 17 yrs. old) and I would call them nightmares since I didn't know what they were and at 17 I would sleep with my mother at times due to fear of the per se' demons and it wasn't like I was 5 and afraid of the boogie man.

At this point, even if I were to believe it to be true I would prefer G-d to stay where he is and leave my head alone and by G-d cure me of this crazy E. I only tell you this because when you think about it being neurological it takes any fears away and keeps you, at least for me, per se' sane or grounded. Not that one is insane, but I think if we allow ourselves to get so caught up in it it can be construed as insane. Recognize the emotion that you're feeling during these times, but perhaps try not to attach yourself to them. If it's a good one, simply enjoy the experience and if it's one that provokes fear simply remind yourself that it's neurological. With E now I try to "observe" the experience / emotion and not attach myself to it. For ex: I felt that G-d visited me today and this makes me happy. Turns into: The E allowed me the experience that G-d visited me today and for a MOMENT it was a really cool experience. Just some thoughts. BE WELL and thanks for sharing your experiences.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:06 AM
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Originally Posted by vapour View Post:
I dont brag about it like other christians do... probably because they are lying.
You are contradicting yourself:

1. you say you are experiencing psychic seizures. Would you please give me a link to prove it by scientists and the medical profession. I do not believe what psychycs say.

2. I quoted the second one. You said that other christians are lying about it.

In another topic you said that you were afraid to tell anyone in your christian religion because they would think you are demon possessed. That is an old stigma that went out of existence a long time ago.

Join the group Epilepsy and Mental Illness. That is what I would do.

Last edited by Ruth; 11-11-2009 at 07:53 AM.
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by KelVarQ View Post:
Today I dismiss the whole spiritual episodes because it's simply not logical or even but I've opted to choose logic and that it's neurological.
Have both of you gone to the Social Groups? It has Epilepsy and Mental Illness. It is a fact that some people with epilepsy have a mental illness, as well. I recommend that anyone who feels this way should join that Group.
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Old 11-11-2009, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by KelVarQ View Post:

I've come to the conclusion, at least for myself, that these experiences are of our own minds and not necessarily spiritual but rather neurological. Today I dismiss the whole spiritual episodes because it's simply not logical or even rational. Our brains can play games on us, especially those with E and it's our emotions (fear or euphoria) that gives us a sense that it's real and it's truly happening. Many times we tend to attach ourselves to our emotions when in fact it's simply an emotion and will pass, if we don't allow ourselves to get so caught up in it.
I agree with KelVarQ. It's all in one's mind. One may consider it a spiritual experience, but it is actually a neurological experience, especially if the seizures originate in the temporal lobes.

Ruth, I don't see your name in the Epilepsy and Mental Illness group. Maybe
you should consider joining.
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Old 11-11-2009, 10:28 AM
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The area of the brain where many seizures originate is associated with strong emotions, and strong memories, often those related to religion as well as associations of fear. So I agree with the folks above who suggest that what you are experiencing is neurological in origin. That doesn't mean that it's any less strange or startling for you -- we all know how powerful the effects that seizure can have on our minds and bodies. I think it's great that your approach is to enjoy the good parts of these sensations, and try and ignore or get through the worst of them. In some ways it's like savoring your good dreams and trying to shake off the worst nightmares.
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Old 11-11-2009, 12:08 PM
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Thanks all.

Ruth, sorry to say but you have no idea what you are talking about. Yes there are psychic seizures, or seizures with psychic symptoms... you should look it up...its part of a partial seizure. The question is... is it really psychic, or is it all neurological. It has only been given that name by doctors because of the symptoms mentioned, but who is to say.

This began years ago before i was diagnosed, I thought I had sleep paralysis for along time, but my Neurologist thinks they are complex partial seizures due to other things that go on while they happen.

Now: as far as christians, in MY experience when this first started happening years ago, I was terrified, and breifly mentioned it ONCE to someone in church...and was accused of needing "deliverance" Hence why I wont bring it up to church members. AND I still think most of them are BS'ing when they speak about such things.

ALOT of church members still actually believe epilepsy is a spiritual sicknes.. BUT believe as YOU wish.

The rest are probably right, its probably all Neurological..my neurologist says so, my point again a little clearer.. especially after watching the temporal lobes and god that cint sent...is who knows whether God, or something spiritual is using our physical neurological brains to allow us to see this.

NOW also, RUTH, I have been a member of hte epilepsy and mental illness for a few weeks. Lets say this is psychosis and not even a seizure .. you should not speak with that tone of voice. Do you always talk to people with a mental illness that way ?

Aside...it is a seizure... but still.....
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Old 11-11-2009, 12:09 PM
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ALso , writing a post up here is not bragging. If I were bragging I would be going all around my church that consists of 3000 members bragging to them all about my experiences....like certain others from other churches do....dare I even mention the emergent church and the **** that happens there. If you know so much about this type of seizure you must have experienced it yourself, Id like to know your symptoms.
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Old 11-11-2009, 01:25 PM
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I used to belong to a church, but because of the "mental illness" or depression I stopped attending because all they did for me was give me the run around of why I was depressed. If I prayed more, if I did things right..... more and more BS. Enough was enough for me!
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Old 11-11-2009, 01:35 PM
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Hi vapour, I deeply apologize. Would you please read my quote from you in post 3? You said that you were not bragging.I did not say that you were bragging.

I know that you deeply feel the way you do.

I have a son who is mentally ill. He hears voices and belives what they say. He has different personalities. He cannot live in the community.They send him out of the residential mental illpess place he is in, to live in the community. After 2 or 3 days, he calls 911 and the ambulance. The voices tells him that he is in harm's way.

We have tried several times to have him live with us. He does the same thing. We love him very much.

His doctors have decided to keep him in nice residential settings. He is not in an institution. He is happy where he is at. He feels secure. His different personalities tell him he is safe there.

I know which personality is speaking to me. I talk to that personality. Sometimes, he will not speak to me at all. I know then that one of his personalities is telling him that I am going to harm him. I never would, we visit him when we can. It is a 6 hour way drive one way. We cannot afford to stay overnight. When we visit him, we take a 12 hour drive. We go knowing that his personality might tell him that we are going to harm him. Sometimes, he will not speak to us at all. We understand him.

The place he is at says that we can e-mail him. My son does not want e-mails, he believes that they will harm him.

I was not speaking to you in a bad way. I was trying to help you understand. I am sorry that I said the wrong words. I am sorry that I hurt everyone here.

When I first came to CWE, I did join Epilepsy and Mental Illness group. I even wrote a poem about my mental illness.

I thought I was saying that your church members and other religions who believe that way are cruel. You said in another topic, that you could not speak to them. That is what I meant. I must have worded it wrong.

Read post #3 again. I quote that you are not bragging. I am sorry that my tone of voice was wrong.

Last edited by Ruth; 11-11-2009 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 11-11-2009, 02:32 PM
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Hi Ruth


Hi Ruth, I'm so sorry about your son and I can't imagine how difficult that must be. As a mother I know our biggest fear is the health and well being of our children and I'm truly sorry this is what you must live with everyday. Your posting, perhaps, are merely you projecting and dealing with some of your own frustrations, which is obviously understandable as I'm sure most would agree. It's good we can all have a place to come and vent when we need to.

WHOEVER READS THIS POST...ENJOY YOUR DAY and WISHING EVERYONE GOOD HEALTH!
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Old 11-11-2009, 05:27 PM
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HI ruth, thank-you for your message. I am sure what you have to see with your son is hard i am glad he is in a good place, but it still must be very hard.

I do have bipolar disorder along with epilepsy At times because of the dual diagnosis, and the things temporal lobe epilepsy does.... can get very frustrating and hard to treat....

Anyway, hope you havd had a good day. Thank-you for sharing.
Perhaps I overreacted a little in my post, not sure....just basing those things I said on personal experience.....
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:22 PM
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Hi Vapour,

I haven't chatted with you in a while but I seem to know what you are talking about. I don't really call my hallucinations spiritual but yesterday I experienced a new hallucination and this may have happened before but don't remember. I see this black blob. It comes after me and all I remember is trying to fight it off. I was swinging my fists and yelling and screaming at it and then I evidently blacked out. I usually see a zig zaggy light that comes across my field of vision but the black blob I didn't remember seeing before. Most of the time I don't really remember these things but yesterday I did.

I too run out into the street in fear. It may be because of the black blob. I am not sure though I just remember running out of the house and then I don't remember too much afterwards but my husband tells me about it afterwards and it is scarry. I get worried that someone will try to take advantage of me or that I step out in front of a car or something when this happens. I seem to get a gut sensation that I cannot explain when I have these type of seizures and I know that I better take cover or else. I usually notify my husband when I get the gut feeling so that he can look out for me. I sure don't know what I would do without him because my mom and other family members don't understand this when it happens and have been known to just leave me stranded with this fear I get. I know they care but don't understand seizures and my husband gets so mad at them. It is probably because my mom is so self obsorbed that she will never take the time out to understand. She means well but I would much rather my husband take care of me.

After these types of seizures I cannot talk or my whole body will freeze. I hate these seizures with a passion. How I wish we could all be normal.

I do know what you mean and don't have any fear of admitting your feelings on the forum because you are not alone.

tam bam

Last edited by tam bam; 11-12-2009 at 01:29 PM.
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