I do have Kepprages to deal with, but I'm not on much, and like SlimBlue said try to think before I speak. It's the surprises that get me. People get mad at me for acting like a baby, and it's embarrassing. I usually blow up for about 2 seconds and then stop myself once I realize what happened. After a while you're not sure whether its only the meds, or if you have become habituated to getting upset about everything because of the meds.
I agree totally that AEDs make you dumb. I think doctors should have to take them before they prescribe them. They would be stunned. That way when you told them how they make you feel they couldn't blame it on the seizures or your imagination. I tried running a book group last year, and compared to when I was only on 400 or 600 mgs of Tegretol, I was an idiot. Overall it went ok, but my intellectual function was a shadow of what it had been.
My opinion of taking Tegretol for about 20 years is that it probably does "stabilize" my mood, but I would describe it more like "deadness". If anything, for me, it's a depressive. Or, perhaps it just makes it harder to get happy or excited, and because I tend to depression anyhow, it keeps me there.
My experience on Lamictal was similar to what you guys said. I started having seizures and ended up in the hospital for a weekend. I asked for something new and they added Lamictal. I felt ok the day before. The first morning, when they released me, I woke up and literally could not find the motivation to eat breakfast, just sat and stared at it (I usually eat 24-7). I must have struggled simply to sit up for 10 minutes. I more or less slept through them taking off my EEG "hat" and wires. Then, I started crying for no reason whatsoever. I told the doctor about it, but they released me anyhow. I was fine, but some poor guy could have killed himself in that condition. The whole day I was walking around trying not to cry! I got over that in a day or so, but was on it for a couple weeks. For the most part I just sat and stared. I have never been such a zombie in my life. The good part was that I had never been so relaxed in my life!
N Sperlo: Thanks. I'm pretty frustrated with the doctors right now. I've seen several in the area, and the one I have gone to for a number of years is not helping. Maybe your "ADHD" is how you drive a race car.