Big day tomorrow

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hahah, dont pressure nathaniel with his 'quirky' poems ;)...hes actually been a huge help to me, we've been pm'ing the last few days and mr nathaniel has been a great distraction and hand. this forum as well has really helped me through a rough patch.

Ofcourse you can ask bout my brain julie, you can ask anything I'm really open and happy to share. I saw my doc and after explaining the aura and everything i have been experiencing he was concerned that i blood in my brain from previous falls and injuries. So i had a brain scan and i got the result this morning as well as breast scan results(my doc was worried i had breast cancer, my mum had it and I've been having pain) they chucked that test on the same day as my brain one. in hindsight i can laugh, like "oh lets make sure grace isn't dying of something huge today". aside from the actual scan my brain is functioning, in that despite this aura and all the symptoms if I'm lying down i can articulate myself clearly, i can use my laptop etc.

And this place is a good place for venting and getting through, i am normally quite a positive person I'm just making it through a rough patch. I guess my zest for living, my ambition to have a career and my desire to travel makes it hard for me to "just sit here and take it". My epilepsy has never ailed me to the point where i couldn't still find a way to do the things i really wanted to in life... its ok this is just another challenge and i will find an alternative to make things work
 
So good news is no major physical issues. Hum... why intolerant then to being upright? My nursy brain is wondering. And this is all new for you? Did something precede all of this? Diet, stress, warmer weather, I'm sure you've thought of a million and one reasons why this is all happening. But physiologically, meaning blood preassure while standing, blood sugar and all that checks out okay? If so, that is all good news. I'm certain you will figure it out.
 
oh julie i still feel awful when I'm lying down, its just easier to do things because i dot have to move my body. when lying i still feel "out of my body", headache, waves of dizziness etc etc (the list of all the things I'm feeling that goes on). just easier cos i can type on my lappy or speak to my housemate. i dont have to move around ya know. I dont think its anything you mentioned, i mean where i live is warm all summer and my body quite likes it (love a good tan at the beach ;)) its winter now so lets just say the bathers aren't on, diet hasn't changed, im not doing anything so stress wise nah, i mean this whole thing in itself is stressful but no lifestyle wise before it started nothing changed. and physically was all checked out when i was taken to hospital. but we will see once i start cranking these pills.
 
You poor lamb. Sorry it may have seemed a stupid question; but i didn't know if you meant an MRI or EEG and didn't even think of a CT. At least it was clear - as frustrating as that is, overall that is good news.

I get the frustration part. There are so many things in my head I want to get up and do. On the good days I start off on these adventures in whatever form they take, but end up being knocked back onto my butt again. So frustrating!

The hardest part ~i think ~ sometimes, is that you don't know when the light at the end of the tunnel will come, or if it will come. If someone said "Grace you have to lie in bed like this for 10 days and then life will get better'' it is easier than the unknown. It is the unknown that gets to me. Just my opinion.

Hang in there. I wish there was something I could do for you. But know I am sending love and good health out to the universe for you.
 
Oh i totally agree with what your saying about the unknown. i think that's why i was almost disappointed with the scan not showing anything, feels like my body is flipping out and no one has any idea why and the solution is oh just give this a crack. Epilepsy is so broad and varied so all the why's are gonna be hard to answer...dosn't mean I'm gonna stop asking. but i guess in the mean time while i ask i also have to learn to adjust and cope. i think i need to work on my eyes, I'm like an obese person is with food with my goals in life, i have "hungry eyes" but hungry for getting out there and really living
 
Nothing wrong with being driven and having "hungry eyes" for being successful. I think that's a good thing! Especially considering the circumstances. :)
Anything I can do to help?
 
Well, I just don't want them to miss anything. The neuro is focused on the brain. Go back to your GP and make sure its not something else if you don't get better soon with the meds. And reread the different types of seizures. There are so many. Maybe you'll read something new.
 
I think your helping with the PM ing nathaniel...ill try bust ya a poem back when my brain is in the zone :D
 
DW julie I'm totally onto checking everythingggggg. i do a ton of research and checking things through, before the meds go into my body i suss em out and then monitor how I'm reacting and coping. i know my body unbelievably well despite all of its crazy antics of late, and my doc has been my doc my entire life so he knows me pretty good too. if the meds dont work trust me ill will be saying and doing a whole lot ;)
 
I figured you would. I was trying to sleep just now and then the same junk starts up again. Every time I close my eyes... its like I get shocked and my eyes fly open. Grrr. But then I thought, in Graces worst moments... she helped me by bravely posting... so don't feel useless. Everyone here helps me. :) I'm going to attempt to sleep again. Wish me luck.
 
Sleep well Julie!

Grace, I'm happy you at least have something now that might be able to help you as far as medication goes. :) Now comes that uncomfortable waiting period for it to get into your system. :)
 
Oh that's very sweet julie!!!! Hope you can relax and your body allows you to fall into a blissful slumber :)
 
Yer I'm pretty scared nathaniel...havent had meds for a few yrs, taking them is a lil daunting eeeeep
 
Just try to relax and let them do their thing. Don't spend to much time dwelling on it. :)

My meds seem to be making me into a prankster since they got changed/adjusted.

Wonder what my neighbor would think if I tossed a water balloon at him while he's sleeping? His window is open, I can see it from here. The balloon would go straight through his window since he took down the screen for some reason and land in his bed.

Of course, that'd be mean, and I'd be asking to get shot. But uuggghhhh it's so tempting... :?
 
Hahahaha, i think you've convinced yourself your meds are making you more of a prankster. maybe circumstantially your boredom has just increased around the same time your meds have changed hahah. Your neighbour has a gun...i forget you live in crazy illinois!! Have a water balloon fight with your mates, or a flour or paint fight, thats super fun :D
 
Im so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this agony with there seeming to be no end in sight or answers to at least why you are going through this. I am glad that nothing "serious" is wrong but understand wanting answers at the same time. I hope that you are able to have a support network in place that will lessen your feeling of being a burden or being disabled. I am sure that if your ex didn't want to help, he wouldn't. You would do the same for him im sure if the roles were reversed. I will pray for the relief of symptoms and knowledge for the docs to figure out what is causing this. In the mean time, try to stay strong and positive! You have a great support group here from what I can see!
 
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