Hi everyone, I'm new here and hope to find some support in dealing with my husbands seizures that we have been dealing with for 12 years now. He has been making some very bad choices and making life very difficult for us. I'm just looking for some commonality and understanding.
dealing with husbands seizures
- Thread starter torikay
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Hi torikay! I, too, have joined because my husband's seizures are taking its toll on our marriage here lately. His doctor is trying to ween him off one medication and up the dosage of another at the moment, and my husband is having these AWFUL mood swings. And I can't just let them go, because he is so MEAN to me and the kids, that it gets me angry and then all we end up accomplishing is a good fight over nothing. On one hand, I am SO ANGRY at him because he treats us all so badly when he is in these moods, but on the other hand, I feel guilty for feeling mad because he doesn't have control of these swings.....It seems like none of us can do anything to please him when he is in his bad moods - if we do what he says and he can tell we don't want to do it, or have a different way of wanting to do it, he gets angry. If we say anything to him about his sh***y attitude, he gets angry. If we disagree with what he says (even when everyone else KNOWS he is wrong), he gets angry. It breaks my heart because this is not the man I married 4 years ago; I just want my husband back :'(
thank u
Thank you MrsBerry for your reply. My husband and I were only together 2 1/2 years before he started having seizures..he is the same way..he has rage issues to which makes things even more difficult. He is an alcoholic, who gave that up to be with me...but he has struggled in the past and now has gone back to.drinking. I have just recently moved back home wth him after my daughter and I lived with my mom for almost four months..(seperated) now I have to live with him convincing everyone that alcohol has cured his.seizures..that is a complete lie by the way. But he will do anything to be able to drink again. I have decided that all I can do is let him do what he's going to do..and just remind him of the consequences..he says his doctor has even told him that..ok..if u feel u need a drink...have it...he is on two seizure meds along with three other meds for depression, anger and sleep disorder...I am just WORN OUT!!!!! :-(
Thank you MrsBerry for your reply. My husband and I were only together 2 1/2 years before he started having seizures..he is the same way..he has rage issues to which makes things even more difficult. He is an alcoholic, who gave that up to be with me...but he has struggled in the past and now has gone back to.drinking. I have just recently moved back home wth him after my daughter and I lived with my mom for almost four months..(seperated) now I have to live with him convincing everyone that alcohol has cured his.seizures..that is a complete lie by the way. But he will do anything to be able to drink again. I have decided that all I can do is let him do what he's going to do..and just remind him of the consequences..he says his doctor has even told him that..ok..if u feel u need a drink...have it...he is on two seizure meds along with three other meds for depression, anger and sleep disorder...I am just WORN OUT!!!!! :-(
I understand about being wore out. I took the long way to work this morning so I could have a good cry and get it all out of my system before having to put on my happy face for the customers. He came home from work yesterday in one of his moods, so I ignored him (like I usually do when he gets this way), but then he gets all butt-hurt when I ignore him. This morning he woke up in the same foul mood he went to bed in and got mad at me when I told him I was going to drop him off at work, then take the kids so I could eat breakfast with our daughter. He got huffy because he wanted me to drop the kids off first, THEN take him to work....It's almost like I have 3 kids, instead of 2 kids and a husband! Next trip to the doctor's office isn't until December, but I may have to call the doc sooner and let him know the moods are worse.
Luckily, my husband never really had the "taste" for drinking. Oh, he has a beer or some shine every now and again, but that was never a problem for him. My mother is a recovering alcoholic - when she was drinking, she was so hard to deal with. I couldn't imagine dealing with the seizures, his meds and a drinking problem on top of that. Keep your head up, or (if need be) go back to your mama's house until he sees reason. Good luck!!!!!
Luckily, my husband never really had the "taste" for drinking. Oh, he has a beer or some shine every now and again, but that was never a problem for him. My mother is a recovering alcoholic - when she was drinking, she was so hard to deal with. I couldn't imagine dealing with the seizures, his meds and a drinking problem on top of that. Keep your head up, or (if need be) go back to your mama's house until he sees reason. Good luck!!!!!
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So sorry to hear for both of you ladies... I was curious, what medications are your husbands taking? You were both talking about his moods and swings, I was recently "that guy" (girl in my situation, lol) But for like 6 months I was the wife that had these mood swings and was mean. My reason, I believe was KEPPRA!!!! That is why I had asked.. I was on it, and barely married, and my husband was already like, what happened to my wife. I was a monster when I was taking this medication and since I have been off, my moods are back to normal.
I cant imagine how difficult it must be for you, being the ones who have to deal with this... But trust me, your husbands are so thankful to have you there to help them thru this, even though they may seem like they hate you right now... I am so thankful that I had my husband to see me thru that, it was a dark time for me. He wasn't exactly understanding during all of it and I believe that made me worse at the time, but over all, I get it. It would be very hard to deal with a monster. Especially a monster who thinks they have turned into this forever. scary
I cant imagine how difficult it must be for you, being the ones who have to deal with this... But trust me, your husbands are so thankful to have you there to help them thru this, even though they may seem like they hate you right now... I am so thankful that I had my husband to see me thru that, it was a dark time for me. He wasn't exactly understanding during all of it and I believe that made me worse at the time, but over all, I get it. It would be very hard to deal with a monster. Especially a monster who thinks they have turned into this forever. scary
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:agree: The alcohol will only exacerbate the problems of depression and possibly seizures, so please make sure you take care of yourself and your child. Having a child witness seizures is bad enough, but they don't need to seen an alcoholic go into the fits of rage and suffer the consequences.
I'm the one who suffers from E & depression in my family and my husband is the one who had fits of rage/anger. Plus I'm the one who has taken Keppra for over 12 years now plus anti-depressants for many, many years. My husband got so bad I finally could not live with his abuse, so I left him. Now, I live in peace, suffer less seizures and don't care what happens to him.
Hitel Bridge, my husband is taking Keppra and Dilantin along with three other meds for anxiety and sleeping. He was gone all day yesterday and came home drunk. He couldn't stand straight. This keeps happening time and time again. He doesn't let me go to his doctor apps. Cause he doesn't want me telling the truth about his behavior and how he is actually drinking every time. I have thought about calling them and telling them but I am afraid they won't listen to me since he is the patient. And if he ever found out, I would be in serious trouble. He has a history of abuse, taking his knife off his side and cutting my shirt and bra off of me, pushing me, breaking things, etc. But everyone who knows him outside our home, would never believe he is like this, because he is very friendly and charming to everyone else. This has been my life for 13 years, I find myself wishing that I would not wakeup the next morning.
He was sober when he did those things. I am working on leaving for good. I told him I don't want to be married to an alcoholic,and since he chooses that over his family,then I have no choice. But what I don't understand is why he would throw away his family like that. I know his seizures are bad enough to deal with, why make it worse with alcohol. Its like everything I've done for him in the past 15 years accounts for nothing.
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It doesn't matter whether he was sober or not. He IS abusive and he IS an alcoholic! It only gets worse before it gets better if neither of you are going to any kind of therapy. Unfortunately, alcohol is more important to an alcoholic than family.