Hi Kate
So sorry to hear you are stessing out so much. I do understand how you feel as I have gone through it so much in the past.
You have to try and calm down and relax. Not because I think stressing will trigger an attack or anything, but simply cos being so stressed is just going to make you feel sh*t.
If it's any consolation, I went to see a psychiatrist because of anxiety and he too raised the issue of simple partials and referred me to a neurologist.
It was a 3 week wait for that appointment and I spent my time wisely by reading everything I could find about simple partials on the web. End result: I convinced myself within 10 minutes every weird sensatin my body had was a seizure. One of the things I latched onto was deja vu. 'Oh my god!' I thought, 'I've had deja vu before!' I must be having seizures! 'Oh and I experience depersonalisation a lot too!! I clearly have epilepsy and am going to keel over any minute!!'
This caused my anxiety to increase so much I ended up taking 2 weeks off work to spend cowering at home waiting to pass out.
I didn't pass out. And when I saw the neurologist he diagnosed me with anxiety and that it was highly unlikely I was suffering partial seizures. He then said I did't have epilepsy.
That calmed me down for a few months but then I had another deja vu and got terrified again. I then started thinking I was experiencing deja vu every day. Only one way to deal with this I decided, an appointment was booked with a Harley Street epileptologist at great expense.
Unfortunately he clearly didn't know what he was talking about as he went further than the other neurologist and said I definitely wasn't having partials.
I do still worry a bit about having a seizure (I had a one off 10 years or so ago), but have accepted that 4 GPs and 2 neurologists have said my risk of that is the same as the gen population. The rest is prob anxiety.
I have no idea what a neurologist will diagnose with you. The point is that I know how powerful anxiety can be, so much so that it can make you feel like you are experiencing symptoms. My daily deja vu disappeared after my visit to the epileptologist when he simply said it is a very common phenomena and not indicative of epilepsy - immediately counter-acting everything I had read on the internet.
My utterly unmedical opinion is that you are freaking out after a pyschiatrist has mentioned epilepsy and as you work with E and are aware of it you are now panicking all the time. Even if the neuro decides you do have it, I imagine the majority of the 'symptoms' you are currently experiencing are anxiety related.
A psychiatrist is not a neurologist. He has prob referred you to one to cover his a**! Take what he says with a pinch of salt and listen to the neuro. The psychiatrist I saw worried me into thinking I was having seizures until I saw two neruos who both were absolute in their conviction that I was fine.
In any event, if you have been having partials for 30 years your chances of having a TC in the next few weeks before seeing a neuro are pretty minute. You'd be very unlucky!
Diazepam will help calm you in the midst of a full blown panic attack but I find they make you feel drowsy and tired the next day so I'd stay away from them and use them as a last resort. Speak to your GP about dosage before taking any at all though. It is a powerful and very addictive drug.
Just remember a doctor who is not qualifed in neuro stuff has simply suggested you should get seizures investigated. Combined with the fact that you work with E and may have gone online to look up symptoms, makes it quite likely this is anxiety. Go and see a neuro and get it evalulated. if it is something it will get treated. If it's nothing you need to look at getting anxiety treated. Either way you are going to be absolutely fine! I have read your symptoms in another thread and can say I and my girlfriend have both experienced those kind of things and neither of us has epilepsy. If your doc decides it is something then fine, but until that unlikely event, calm down, do something you enjoy to take your mind off things, and I have to say....STAY away from the internet!! The web can be good but for those with anxiety I have found it universally bad. You will always find someone who claims to have had or know someone who has had your synptoms and something terrible happened and that you must therefore immediately call an ambulance. In reality what happened to someone else has zero bearing on your case.
You'll be fine Kate, just try to relax until you see the neuro as otherwise you're going to have a headache for 2 weeks!
Stop looking on the internet, and if you can't help it, look up symptoms of anxiety. One thing the epileptologist told me was that as my symptoms could often go on for half an hour or more, this was atypical of seizures, for which symptoms usually last a few minutes, and was therefore more likely anxiety.
I know it's hard but try not to analyse other people's stories and apply them to your own situation. If the neuro says there may be something going on and you get a diagnosis, then use resources like this forum for support but until then, I would have to say stay away as reading about E all the time will just make you worry more.
All the best Kate, relax, enjoy your time between now and the appnt, do something fun, and realsie everything will be just fine....and try not to come back here until you have seen your doctor
