Epileptic girlfriend

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GreenT

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I came to know about my girlfriend's epileptic condition recently. I heard from a family that she has had seizure thrice last year. We are in long distance relationship and we get to meet only once in a year (last was in Christmas 2016). We fell in love a year ago. She's 19 years and so sweet. I love her so much. I really dont know and at the same time confused but I am deciding that I can best look after her... as her boyfriend
Until now she does not have any idea that I knew this.
 
! ! ! ! WELCOME TO CWE GreenT ! ! ! !

The first thing that you want to do is let her tell you about her E. Don't make any statements about E before she tells you and then you can be there to support her.
Many people who have E are very touchy when it comes to talking about their E so you could very easily lose her trust if you jump the gun and talk about E before she feels that she can trust you with the fact that she has E.
You need to do a google of 'understanding epilepsy' and you will find many articles about E that will help you learn about how you can help her. As you are reading these articles you will have many questions so be ready to ask any questions you may have on CWE!
The important thing is that you have found out that she is a great person and have found the strength to accept that fact and still stay with her. There are many, many, many relationships that fail because one of the two people find something like this out and immediately turn tail and run away from the relationship!
If you continue to have this much understanding and care I am sure you will see her soften her feelings about her E and then she will tell you more and more details so that you can be there to help her. One of the most important things that you need to do is let her open up about her E and the facts about her E on her own. Don't put any kind of pressure on her to give you information.
It could be that she doesn't have many friends so she isn't going to have much experience telling people about her E. This means that she needs to learn that she can trust you enough to tell you. You need to tell her that you will always be there to help her with any problems she may have and this may help her open up to you about her E!
I have had relationships where I thought everything was great until we became close enough that the other person realized that she would have to really deal with my E and then she turned away from me. This action is all too common for people w/E so you are showing great strength by asking for advice as far as how to handle it properly! :twocents:

acshuman
 
Hi GreenT,

I've been married for 30 yrs. and when I first told my husband about my epilepsy I was nervous that he wouldn't want to see me anymore but he stood right by my side and was there for me. When we dated and even after we were married and I had 2 brain surgeries to reduce my seizures.
If you want to have serious relationship you have to tell your girlfriend that you know about her seizures and be very supportive no matter what. This will make her feel more secure and within time she will be open with you about the seizures. I wish the both of you only the best and May God Bless the Both of You!

Sue
 
why are you confused she same gal now as when you did not know yes you got tell her you know and should not make squwat of difference..tip don't refer to epileptic girl friend cos she not she your girl friend who has epilepsy not the epilectic.If she not told you why did someone else.remember she knows what she got and having treatment.It people who don't know then have sz when driving...Everyone who walks on gods earth has a sz threshold.When you tell her don't make big thing out of it.Let her .she may or maynot make thing out of it.Then take it from there.You don't see her often and she just wants your company or what ever young people do when don't see each other often I know what I did and talking about my e was never on the menue.
just enjoy each other maybe ask what happens up to her what she says she is a teenager proberly wants forget it for short time she sees you..best of luck but you don't need it just a bit of tacfullness
 
My husband knew I had epilepsy when we first started dating. I had my first seizure in front of him about 2 weeks into the relationship. It was a very bad one and I had to go to the ER.

My parents met us there and my mom started crying in the ER and told him that she thought for sure that he was going to stop seeing me, like my last boyfriend did, since he knew what he was going to have to deal with if we kept dating. He told her that he wasn't going to do that, I was great! He didn't care that I had epilepsy and that I could be having seizures for the rest of my life. It was the person I was that he cared about and he was going to be there for me as best as he can, which he has done for the 13 years we've been together.

Defiantly let her know that you know she has epilepsy! Talk to her about it and try to learn as much as you can from her and other places, like this website for example. If you love her then her having epilepsy shouldn't matter at all, let her know that too.
 
I really appreciate for all the replies to my post. Let me tell you a bit more. I know how it is to have an E/victim of E. I have a sibling who has this and she's been on medication for 7-8 years now. She's not had any surgery, just the pills can control. I was the one actually who noticed her first seizure back in my teenage. I am now 26, so I can understand somewhat when I found out my girlfriend has E. I don't know how severe the seizure is but the frequently is less (as told thrice in a year) and as far as I know she's not on any pills. Firstly, my guess is they are unaware of the disease and such pills are there to control the symptoms, so she might have taken over the counter med for a weak to contain the body weakness and dizziness post seizure. I can’t ask right now about this I feel as she's not ready/ open to speak about it. Thing is we are from a very rural village and the knowledge about this kind of illness, the legacy to accept this kind of condition is way difficult in the sense ... u know the stigma n sorts of history folks know that it run in blood line. I know understand in a better way because I do research in neuroscience and I feel somehow I can accept the problem, could be there to take care and support here. As I said we are from the same village all members in my family came to know about our relationship and her condition last month when I had gone home for Christmas (our first meeting after we fell in love). We both are first love and I know how much we love each other. They are saying definitely no to her.
 
Is Epilepsy a Disease ?

GreenT,

The first thing you need to do is lose the thought that E is a disease. It is considered a CONDITION not a disease! A disease is contagious and E isn't contagious.
I understand how some people still use old explanations of things when looking at things today and this can make it very difficult for them to accept the facts about something like E. The best thing to do is stand your ground.
If she has not been seen by a neurologist or Epileptologist that is something you need to help her realize would be in her best interest because the longer that her E goes undiagnosed and untreated the more damage it may do to her brain. Damage like this can make the E worse so it needs to be treated as soon as possible.
I know from my own experience that some people's parents are more concerned with their reputations than their child's health. That may be why she has not gotten diagnosed. Her parents don't want to be 'labeled' as having a 'sick' child. Many people think of E as a mental illness. Epilepsy is a physical CONDITION!
These are all things that you need to think about, but don't make any kind of suggestions until she has reached the point of feeling comfortable enough to open up to you! :twocents:

acshuman
 
Shame on her parents if she had sz and they not taken her to hospital
 
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