Family

[Jayjay]

Hi Everyone,
This is my second post. Thank you all for answering on the first one. It helped a lot. Now new problem. I really need help

My living condition isn't normal. My husband and I ave been separated since 1985. It took us a LONG TIE to talk and become friends. The last year has been really stressful. We had a house we never sold. We both paid half excerpt I ended up spending more remodeling home He had a shoulder placemeent and had to retire and we sold the house. We are living at his family home He is part owner of. He needs my,part of money to help buy out his family. I KNOW BAD DICISIONS AD REAP WHAT YOU SOW,

Problem now I had seizurer since all this happened. Because The medicine is effecting me and obviously him and our grown son who lives with us also, we are having major arguments. I'm on keppra er 750 2x a day. I've told the doctor has added a new medication but can't ween me of keppra till the other gets in my system. This is so bad and stressful. My friend wants me to leave and come with them because I was there for 2 weeks and they didn't see a big problem. I do know I say what I think now and my family doesn't like it. I use to do for everyone and never said anything. I've as always been healthy till recently. I'm almost 60 I had a stent put in in Sept 2016. The doctor said I should be dead if I would have had a heart attack I would have died it was the widow maker artery. I had no markers. Jan I had 2 seizurers back to back put on keppra and have not had any since. Please help. Is it normal for people to act like this or is it because my situation wasn't normal to begin with. We are not romanticly together. We always dated other people. I ended up moving back in the house I, my own room took care of his father before he past away. I did everything hi ing for him. I didn't mind. I loved him like he was my dad. Plus no one else wanted to hare for him. He had a few strokes. His wife was not nice and no one else helped except our son. his mother him and now when I need hyattsville help and have to wait for them to get my medicine adjusted there are problems. But I didn't have any when I stayed away of them. Do I Leave? I'm trying to stay positive but all this has changed me and I've tried to explain to them but they don't like the new me that tells them what I think. Like is too short for stupid stuff. The heart and seizurer scared me. I am sorry the old me is gone. But shouldn't they have a little more patience? I like the truth and no sugar coating. So please be honest. Please help.
Thanks in advance

 

[137Alice]

Dear Jay, i really feel for u. It is always difficult to give advice, since nobody can know what is better for another person. I understood u are much less stressed when not with your family, so perhaps it would really be better to stay away for some time and than u would see what to do.
Take care, Alice

 

[Porkette]

Hi Jay,

I can relate to what you are going through, my parents were married for 41 yrs. and my father left my mom for no reason and moved in with another woman. This made things a big mess for my parents as well as the rest of the family. My parents lost their house since my dad was always borrowing money from the bank. All of this triggered a lot of seizures for me do to the stress. When I saw my Epileptologist he told me to break it off with my parents and let them come to me. I haven't seen my father in 11 yrs. and each time I see my mom we end up arguing. All this in turn led to more brain damage for me. Here I had surgery to reduce my seizures back in 1994 and I was doing great then after my parents split up the seizures increased and caused more brain damage along with some heart problems also. My personal advice to you is to stay away but try and be friendly if they do speak to you. I don't want you to have the same problems that I have now. Also you may want to ask your neuro what would be the best thing to do also. I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue

 

[Music36]

Jayjay,

Why have you remained married all these years? Is it just for financial reasons or is there other reasons?

 

[Cint]

Why have you remained married all these years? Is it just for financial reasons or is there other reasons?

I know this question was directed to Jayjay but here is my :two cents:

I am in a similar situation. I have TLE and have been married since 1980. I had a temporal lobectomy and it didn't do a thing for my seizures, made them worse. Plus it made me depressed. That in turn, really soured our marriage. My hubby couldn't understand "why I was so depressed." I couldn't understand it at the time, either!! Finally, 8 years ago, I left him and now live in my own apartment, although I still depend on him financially. I cannot drive nor work now. But I cannot live with him, either. Even the shrink said he was making me crazy. I am now 60, so it can be done if you really want it.

 

[Music36]

The other thing is that not completely breaking it from your husband could prevent you from having a normal happy relationship with someone else. Don't get me wrong. I know it's complicated and not easy. My epilepsy has me in a situation of having lived with my parents most of my life. I raised my daughter as a single-mother with epilepsy going through undergrad and grad school. I could not have done it without my parents. Now, my daughter is 25 years old and married. She just got married in March, but moved out years ago. But, here I am still living with my parents. My father is a difficult person to live with and I wish I didn't have to live with him, but I haven't worked in years and am not able to support myself. I've been in a relationship with the same man for 10 years, but I don't want to live with him. I like our relationship the way it is. In other words Jayjay, you don't have to feel alone b/c you're not the only one who doesn't live a "normal" life. My sister and her 7 year old son also live with us. It's kinda crazy and it's stressful. The reason my sister lives with us is that it saves her money and my father takes care of her son while she's at work. I also help take care of my nephew. There's also the dogs. It's a big house, so we all have our space but I would just love to live alone in a nice quiet apartment.

 

[Jayjay]

I thank all of you so very much. I have made choses in life that I know in hind site that it has really messed up my life. I see from the replies I'm not the only one and I'm not alone. I know my situation is not healthy for me. I believe in my heart that the stress I have had for the last 2 yrs is what set this seizurer off in Jan.
My family doesn't understand any of this. That truly upsets me because I always put everyone first and ahead of myself. I know its stress because In went to visit a friend for 2 weeks and it was so peaceful and it didn't even seem like the keppra was effecting me. I know the choices I have made in my life have added to this and all I can do is try and change the situation and do what is best for myself for a change.
I didn't know if other people that have had a seizurer, or multiply ones had families that had a hard time coping. I've always been the one to step up and take care of the ones that were sick no matter what the situation. I'm far from perfect and have made some bad choices, but I have always tried to help others. I think that's why my family has a hard time because I'm not picking up the slack as much anymore. At least I know I'm not alone.
I'm trying to get off the keppra but the doctor said he has to add one and then decrease the keppra. I'm going to get a second opinion but it takes forever to get an appointment because of being a new patient. The neurologist said I have a minuit spot on my left temporal lobe. Thankfully I only had the 2 seizurers back to back on that one night and haven't had any more.
This has been a real nightmare and an eye opener.
Thank everyone again for responding. Hopefully getting off the keppra and making some life changes will help everything.
Thanks and God Bless all of you

 

[Nakamova]

Good luck and keep us posted!