My name is Cody Allen Cox, and I really do not do well anymore accepting how flawed I really am while trying to keep assuring myself that I still have things I can do. Believe it or not, I think I was actually stronger when I was younger in the way I handled the things I have wrong with me. To break it down, when I was born the doctor wasn't there right away in the process, so my dad and a few nurses held my mom's legs together as my head was coming out. This lead me to have quite a few problems from the very start that I didn't become fully aware of until I turned six when I woke up in the floor with my dad screaming over me for me to wake up. I asked him what was going on, and he just yelled for my mom to ask if she'd called the ambulance yet. When the ambulance workers got there, they asked me to stand, and I just rolled off of my feet. I didn't understand what was happening, but I was a fairly chill kid up to that point. My dad carried me to the ambulance, and still all I could think up to that point was I was having a bad dream, or had experienced one since my sister said so. On the drive there I got put to sleep, and by the time I awoke, I had been diagnosed with epilepsy.
The type of seizure I had I am not exactly sure. I have been told partial complex. After learning this I also officially learned that I have a slight case of cerebral palsy on my right side, my right foot's tendons hadn't grown the same as my lefts, and my right foot is partially paralyzed. I also learned that I had been having seizures for longer than I had known, having had one as an infant at my uncle's wedding, in kindergarten, in first grade on the swing-set, and several different times before I ever even knew what it was. How that works that no one would even question what happened until I was six just doesn't make sense to me. I'd been in multiple hospitals for the majority of my younger years due to the different problems I have had (being born with hydrocephalus which I had to go through two operations in a very short time to put in, and to lengthen). The majority of my problems are physical, but obviously my seizures, and my other brain issues also effect me mentally.
Back to my seizures and epilepsy though. The way they happen is I'll start tasting metal as a random part of my body begins to twitch. I generally have a fairly decent window that allows me to tell someone I'm having a seizure before I start to become paralyzed on the right side, and my brain begins shutting down. I'll begin twitching at the mouth which makes it harder to speak though I continue to apologize until I completely pass out. When I wake up my head aches, I can't use my legs or arms properly, but I can talk. My first question is normally about food, because I used to think my headaches were caused by me being hungry. Though I have constant headaches, so that wouldn't make sense. A lot of things about myself I never learned until way later in my life.
The shunt they used to allow my brain fluid to flow causes me to have intense headaches, and dizziness, because it over-pumps fluid to the point that my brain decides it's going to make me hurt. I forgot exactly how that works. I'm generally very overly nervous about everything, and always have been anxiety prone. I recently even started having seizures at night that were different. I would be forced to pass out, wake up out of a horrendous nightmare and be unable to move at all except a part of me twitching, then I would go back into nightmares and back and forth until morning when I would force myself to get up, sometimes falling down out of bed.
All of this is really scary, and I just came here to find people that would understand my problem and maybe be able to help me through being so terrified. I want to have friends
If anyone has any questions or anything about anything they want to know, feel free to ask.
The type of seizure I had I am not exactly sure. I have been told partial complex. After learning this I also officially learned that I have a slight case of cerebral palsy on my right side, my right foot's tendons hadn't grown the same as my lefts, and my right foot is partially paralyzed. I also learned that I had been having seizures for longer than I had known, having had one as an infant at my uncle's wedding, in kindergarten, in first grade on the swing-set, and several different times before I ever even knew what it was. How that works that no one would even question what happened until I was six just doesn't make sense to me. I'd been in multiple hospitals for the majority of my younger years due to the different problems I have had (being born with hydrocephalus which I had to go through two operations in a very short time to put in, and to lengthen). The majority of my problems are physical, but obviously my seizures, and my other brain issues also effect me mentally.
Back to my seizures and epilepsy though. The way they happen is I'll start tasting metal as a random part of my body begins to twitch. I generally have a fairly decent window that allows me to tell someone I'm having a seizure before I start to become paralyzed on the right side, and my brain begins shutting down. I'll begin twitching at the mouth which makes it harder to speak though I continue to apologize until I completely pass out. When I wake up my head aches, I can't use my legs or arms properly, but I can talk. My first question is normally about food, because I used to think my headaches were caused by me being hungry. Though I have constant headaches, so that wouldn't make sense. A lot of things about myself I never learned until way later in my life.
The shunt they used to allow my brain fluid to flow causes me to have intense headaches, and dizziness, because it over-pumps fluid to the point that my brain decides it's going to make me hurt. I forgot exactly how that works. I'm generally very overly nervous about everything, and always have been anxiety prone. I recently even started having seizures at night that were different. I would be forced to pass out, wake up out of a horrendous nightmare and be unable to move at all except a part of me twitching, then I would go back into nightmares and back and forth until morning when I would force myself to get up, sometimes falling down out of bed.
All of this is really scary, and I just came here to find people that would understand my problem and maybe be able to help me through being so terrified. I want to have friends
If anyone has any questions or anything about anything they want to know, feel free to ask.
