Friend with epilepsy

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disco6

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Okay this is my first time on here, not sure if im posting in the right spot.

Anyways, I found out today a recent friend I made has epilepsy, I did not find out from her. I was reading something she had on her desk and was reading it, and I came across her saying she had epilepsy, it was in a paper for class. I read it and I immediately got saddend and upset and I feel bad for her. I don't know if she will ever tell me. But if she does Im not gunna be sure how to react since I already know. Any advice? And also I looked up stuff and watched videos on what to do if someone has a seizure so im pretty prepared if it happens. But I have anxiety disorder and intrusive obsessive thoughts so im bound to panic but ill do my best. But now im constantly worried about her and now I want her to know im there for her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. But she has no idea I know and I just dont know what to do. Idk if I should mention she has it and let her know im there for her. Or wait for her to tell me. Which I hope she does so she knows she has a really close caring friend who is there for her. And again how should I react if she tells me? I dont wanna make it a big deal but k want her to know im there for her and care for her if she ever needs anything and that I will not judge her or let anyone else judge her. I feel so bad ughh :( help please, thank you
 
Hey disco, maybe I should call you SnoopyMcSnooperson. :P

The important thing to know is there are many forms of epilepsy. Nobody expects you to not freak out if she has a seizure. Just keep calm and really don't mess with her. My wife freaked out the first time I had a Tonic Clonic seizure (that means i was convulsing). Every time she sees a seizure even in a movie, she will cry. Your friend may have a seizure and you could have no clue. That was the case with my seizures when I was diagnosed. It took a trained eye to notice them. My mother thought I was on drugs.

Don't tell your friend that you know, would be my suggestion. If she chooses to tell you, then you know. It can be pretty personal. For a long time, I told no one. If she tells you, you don't need to act panicked about it. Just ask if there is anything you should know or do for her. No big deals. No need to feel bad.

Any other questions, feel free to ask.
 
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What N Sperlo said.

My wife also has a panic disorder. When she witnessed my seizure she was a real trooper until everything was winding down. She knew how to keep me safe and did it. Then the EMT's arrived and she had to deal with her anxiety. Knowing what to do is a big part of the challenge and it sounds like you've got that taken care of.

If she decides to tell you... just be a good friend. E and seizures are scary enough without having friends and family make judgments about you because of it. Just like any other illness or ailment, there's only so much a person can do to avoid the problems. If she's on medication those have their own side effects.

I too keep knowledge of my seizures to a small group of ppl I'm close too. I just want to avoid any unnecessary judgment or criticism.
 
What an invasion of privacy. Shame on you. :(

Had she wanted you to know, she would have told you herself. I'm sure she doesn't want, or need your pity.
 
I tend to agree that you shouldn't have invaded her privacy as such but now that you have I feel it's your responsibility to treat her appropriately & that is exactly how you treated her before.

Being epileptic is a very small part of who she is & it sounds like you're giving that part of her identity more attention than you should, even if your intentions are good.

You have to remember that you'd known her for a while & she did quite well with that relationship & is probably very comfortable with those dynamics.

Also, since this is your introductory thread I moved it to the "Foyer" of the website.
 
Sorry for any misunderstandings. But I know I said it was on her desk. But she let me look at her paper so I could compare our grades. Like what she did that I didnt do and I happend to cite wrong. While comparing papers I kinda read before the citation and came across her epilepsy thing. So if she didnt really want me to know im sure she would have took it away. I know I said it was om her desk, but itbwas easier to explain it like that then to have the whole story of comparing papers. Sorry for and misunderstandings!
 
And im just a concerned friend.
I am not going to treat her any different. Sorry if it came off like that. Its a part that I want to know that im there for her and she can trust me.
 
Perhaps, just wait for your friend to raise it with you.

Her epilepsy may be a non issue (in terms of the paper I once refered to my epilepsy and specific disability legislation in a paper when, at the time I hadn't had a seizure in 10 years, we had just been asked to write about a time we had felt we had been discriminated against).

If there is something your friend wants to work up to I sure they will in due course.

Q
 
Great will do, thankyou for the feedback everyone. Ive only known her for a rew weeks. And yes im concerned. I actually hope our friendship will get better over the year since I just met her.
 
She may not have realized that the paper stated that she had epilepsy on it when she gave it to you. I wouldn't bring it up to her unless she brings it up to you.

There are many people who feel differently about who they should tell that they have epilepsy and who they shouldn't. I really don't care who knows. I don't come out starting a conversation with it but if it comes up as to why I don't work or drive then I'll tell the person. If she doesn't like for people to know that she has epilepsy then she may be waiting to find out how good of a friend you are before she tells you just to make sure you aren't going to spread it around when you do find out.

I think it's good that you have done some research about it. If she does tell you then you can say you know some about it. You can maybe say you were browsing around on the computer one night and saw some stuff about epilepsy and read it? This might make her feel better that you do know about it and she won't have to explain things in detail to you about it.

There are several types of seizures out there. When most people think of 'seizure' they relate it to someone shaking on the ground, a tonic clonic. I do have a few of those but during most of mine I'll just sort of space out and stare into nowhere, do things like try to talk but what I'm saying aren't really words just sort of something like baby talk, pick something up and play with it, scribble on a piece of paper or just do all sorts of stupid things. Once I tried like crazy to put a pillow case on my leg like a sock. My husband tried to take it off of me but I wouldn't give it to him so he just let me go until I came out of the seizure.

There are also people out there who only have seizures in their sleep.

If she does have a seizure in front of you just try to stay calm, it's the best thing for both of you. Make sure there isn't anything around that she can hurt herself on or with, my husband has had to do this several times for me. If you do get too scared you can always call 911.

Defiantly don't feel sorry for her. That's one thing I hate to hear from people when I tell them I have epilepsy - "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about that". I almost want to say back to them - "Oh I'm so sorry to see your going bald" There's really nothing you can do to help either from happening. (don't know if that came out the right way or not?)

And defiantly don't treat her any differently. I have many family members that don't want me doing things when I'm alone, or even doing them in general, since I've had epilepsy. Just because you have epilepsy doesn't mean that you can't feed yourself (don't know if that came out right too or not?)

If you need any other help or advice I'm sure you'll be able to get it on here.
 
valeriedl said:
She may not have realized that the paper stated that she had epilepsy on it when she gave it to you. I wouldn't bring it up to her unless she brings it up to you.

There are many people who feel differently about who they should tell that they have epilepsy and who they shouldn't. I really don't care who knows. I don't come out starting a conversation with it but if it comes up as to why I don't work or drive then I'll tell the person. If she doesn't like for people to know that she has epilepsy then she may be waiting to find out how good of a friend you are before she tells you just to make sure you aren't going to spread it around when you do find out.

I think it's good that you have done some research about it. If she does tell you then you can say you know some about it. You can maybe say you were browsing around on the computer one night and saw some stuff about epilepsy and read it? This might make her feel better that you do know about it and she won't have to explain things in detail to you about it.

There are several types of seizures out there. When most people think of 'seizure' they relate it to someone shaking on the ground, a tonic clonic. I do have a few of those but during most of mine I'll just sort of space out and stare into nowhere, do things like try to talk but what I'm saying aren't really words just sort of something like baby talk, pick something up and play with it, scribble on a piece of paper or just do all sorts of stupid things. Once I tried like crazy to put a pillow case on my leg like a sock. My husband tried to take it off of me but I wouldn't give it to him so he just let me go until I came out of the seizure.

There are also people out there who only have seizures in their sleep.

If she does have a seizure in front of you just try to stay calm, it's the best thing for both of you. Make sure there isn't anything around that she can hurt herself on or with, my husband has had to do this several times for me. If you do get too scared you can always call 911.

Defiantly don't feel sorry for her. That's one thing I hate to hear from people when I tell them I have epilepsy - "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about that". I almost want to say back to them - "Oh I'm so sorry to see your going bald" There's really nothing you can do to help either from happening. (don't know if that came out the right way or not?)

And defiantly don't treat her any differently. I have many family members that don't want me doing things when I'm alone, or even doing them in general, since I've had epilepsy. Just because you have epilepsy doesn't mean that you can't feed yourself (don't know if that came out right too or not?)

If you need any other help or advice I'm sure you'll be able to get it on here.
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Nothing came out wrong! Of course I will not treat her any differently! Shes a new friend! I just want her to know that im there for her and that im not judging her! And sorry about feeling bad! I never met anyone with it! Im sorry! I will make sure to say" is there anything I can do to.help" if she ever tells me! I will not treat her any different! Im already a caring person to begin with, so if I knew that or not I would have been extremly nice to her either way! And I read like 5 articles and watched 3 videos on what to do!

Correct me if im wrong please! But this is what I know:

1.take off any glasses, necklaces(if possible) and any clothing around the neck that makes it hard to breath.
2. Move any objects away from the person so they do not self injure
3. Place something soft under their head so they do not injure there head.
4. NEVER put anything in there mouth.
5. Turn them on there side to prevent choking in vomit and to have a better airway.
6. Stay calm and reassure them they will be okay and that u will be with them through the whole thing.
7. Dont let them drink or eat anything until regular consciousness is restored.
8. If seizure happens again or lasts more than 5 minutes call 911
9. Stay with the person until thwy are fully aware and are back to their bormal state.
10. Offer a ride home. ( if this happend I would not let her drive home, I woild give her a ride no matter what so ik she is safe because I will be too worried)

And question!! Im not sure if I turn her on her side during the seizure of after the seizure. Ive heard mixed reviews there. So if someone could answer that would be great!
 
disco6 said:
Correct me if im wrong please! But this is what I know:

1.take off any glasses, necklaces(if possible) and any clothing around the neck that makes it hard to breath.
2. Move any objects away from the person so they do not self injure
3. Place something soft under their head so they do not injure there head.
4. NEVER put anything in there mouth.
5. Turn them on there side to prevent choking in vomit and to have a better airway.
6. Stay calm and reassure them they will be okay and that u will be with them through the whole thing.
7. Dont let them drink or eat anything until regular consciousness is restored.
8. If seizure happens again or lasts more than 5 minutes call 911
9. Stay with the person until thwy are fully aware and are back to their bormal state.
10. Offer a ride home. ( if this happend I would not let her drive home, I woild give her a ride no matter what so ik she is safe because I will be too worried)

And question!! Im not sure if I turn her on her side during the seizure of after the seizure. Ive heard mixed reviews there. So if someone could answer that would be great!
Click to expand...

WOW - I think you might know more and have done more research about it than my family has!

Really the only thing that I wouldn't do, if she is just having a partial seizure (the ones where you don't shake) are try to move them. My family tries to make sure I stay where I am when I have a seizure so I don't get up and move around because I like to do that sometimes. They actually have a hard time keeping me in one place at times actually. Now if she were having a Tonic clonic (when you shake) you may want to have her lay down so she doesn't fall if she were sitting on a chair.

I don't think anyone has ever taken any jewelry off, but I really don't wear any but a short necklace. If I did start to play with it then I'm sure they'd do something with it. I usually wear contacts but they may let me keep my glasses off if I started doing things with them too.

I think a good bit of these things deal more with having a tonic clonic than a partial. Like putting them on their side, placing something under their head and removing anything that makes it hard for them to breath (however I would do that if it they were having hard breathing during any type of seizure)

Just remember that they person may seem ok but they still aren't out of the seizure so don't be afraid if they are talking and doing things normal again but really don't know what's going on.

One way that you can usually be certain that someone is out of the seizure is when they can answer questions like who they are, who you are, what is their birthday, where they are, maybe their phone number and simple things like that. When they can answer these things easily and not have a hard time thinking about it then they are usually ok.

When I tried to answer the questions my husband asked me once I kept calling him by the cat's name. It took me a while to actually figure out who he really was. When I find out some of the things that I've done during and coming out of a seizure I'll get a good laugh about it. I don't know if everyone can be like that or not.
 
Alright great! Thank you for feedback! I wanna make sure im prepared and everything! Just for emergency! For anyone that is too!
 
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