hello all

[Ethelbert]

This is my first post. I don't understand the way this website works and I don't have much patience to learn lately. So please excuse me if I am less than "ept" in my communication.

My spouse is 69 and has had grand mal since age 4. His last seizure was 15 years ago but his mental abilities have been declining the past 5 years. He had a subdural hematoma and lost even more functionality.
Most of what I find in print is about younger people coping or about children. Oh, he has 60% hearing loss too.
I don't know where else to go or what else I can do anymore to help. He has always been negative but it did not cause a problem when he was busy working. Now that he is capable of so little, nothing I do seems to help.
I'm not looking for pity but I can use some help.
If you have any ideas for ways to help my spouse of 44 years make his brain work better, let me know. I'm open to trying anything.

 

[masterjen]

Hi, and welcome to the forums;

You might first want to check what type of mental health services are available in your area, and your husband's family doctor may be of some help for finding this out. A psychologist or other type of therapist may be able to help your husband deal with his declining mental abilities and his negative feelings. The two often go hand-in-hand.

Inadequate hearing can also contribute to feelings of negativity and the appearance of declining mental abilities. If one isn't hearing well, they are not "getting" everything so can appear to be withdrawing and not thinking properly if they don't respond appropriately. Ensure he sees an ear specialist to make sure he does not have some kind of medically treatable hearing loss. If it is not medically treatable, he can most likely use hearing aids. If he already has them, make sure they are appropriately "tuned" for his hearing loss, since hearing levels do change over time.

You may also want to check into what medications your husband is taking, to see if any of them may be causing depression. If he has been seizure free for 15 years it would be difficult to consider a medication change, but it may help his mental outlook. Is he on any other medications? My own father was showing signs of depression and deteriorating mental function, and it turned out he was one of 2% of people that have these as a side effect to a particular cholesterol medication. The medication was changed, and the change in him is like night and day.

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Ethelbert, and welcome!

masterjen has some great suggestions. I strongly agree that your husband's medications should get a review. Older folks tend to metabolize anti-seizure meds more slowly, and often a lower dose will be just as safe and have fewer side effects on memory, mood and energy levels. Other meds can sometimes interact with them and make them worse.

And his doctor should be able to refer you to social services that can perhaps help you care for your husband. You both may benefit from having some home visits. It can help to get a break from the care-taking, so neither of you get stuck in feeling guilty or angry about his health issues.

 

[CathyAnn31]

While I don't have any advice to offer than what's already been said, I still wanted to welcome you. You've come to an awesome place.