Hi. I'm new to these forums

[MadNerves]

Hello,

I have had Epilepsy since I was two years old, and I had a stroke when I was 5. I was lucky to have found that I had both at such a young age because I was able to adapt quickly and learned to live with it from a very young age. I want to say I've been reading these posts for quite some time and never really felt the need to post. I have been getting inspiration from all of your words.

But, here I am. I actually have a question for all of you that might strike quite personal. Well here we go. I just had an argument tonight... all night... with my sister and her roommate. It went on for hours and came out of the blue. Now, my sister's roommate doesn't have much exp. with people with Epilepsy, so she just thinks I'm crazy that I "go off" sometimes. My neurologist said that I have focal motor seizures and sometimes I have these violent seizures, like tonight, where I just argue and get upset over nothing. (Very similar to bipolarism I guess)

Anyway, my question is, do you all ever find it difficult to transition around other people? I find it very hard to feel comfortable around those I know it would easily freak out that I have Epilepsy, and at the same time find it very difficult to also be romantically involved with anyone because it's hard to get out there and introduce myself to anyone. I'm 27, don't have my driver's license and I'm feeling the pressures of adulthood, but constantly am boggled down with the fear that I'll never meet anyone or (in the case of tonight) push away all those that love me and want to help me.

 

[Nakamova]

Hi MadNerves, welcome to CWE!

It's normal to worry about relationships and socializing -- even without epilepsy being in the picture. But I understand where you're coming from. If you can, try not to get caught up in what other people think. While you can certainly educate people about your health issues, you can't necessarily control how they will react.

The Buddhist relationship advice is to "be the person you want to become involved with". So engage in activities and ideas that interest you and you may meet others on the same path. Be compassionate and empathetic and you may encounter others with same openness of heart. There's no guarantee that you will meet your soulmate, but you mustn't let your fears keep you from trying.

Do you have access to public transportation? Are there things within walking/biking distance? Can you ask friends and family for rides? Can you sign up for workshops or vacations where you'll get to meet other folks? I know the transportation problem can be tough to overcome, but don't be afraid to reach out and ask folks for help. And there are other ways to meet folks (like the internet!).

Best,
Nakamova

 

[MadNerves]

Thanks Nakamova. I use the internet quite frequently actually for friends, etc. My biggest issue is that my seizures cause me to get angry and that anger is ALWAYS taken out on the wrong people. So I'm sorry if my first post was to vent. I thank you for your kind response. I do try not to let fear dictate my life, but at times, it does. We all have phobias and I suffer from very low self-esteem issues as well.

I think I mentioned in my initial post about a driver's license. I found it funny you mentioned the teachings of Buddha because my long term goal is to go to Japan to teach English to children. But, in my experiences, it is much better if you have a driver's license when you apply to companies in Japan to be a teacher. The name I use here "Mad Nerves" is actually the literal translation of the kanji for Epilepsy. It is not meant to be sarcastic in any way or anything of the sort. It's kind of an inside joke with a friend of mine who also loves learning Japanese (and has Epilepsy too.) I just wanted to point that out because as I reread my post, I thought my tone was kind of off from what I wanted and it is not my desire to offend anyone.

Like I said before, I do enjoy these forums and I do appreciate that there is such love and support for Epileptics since Epilepsy is such a misunderstood disease. My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone struggling with this disease.

Thanks again Nakamova and my best regards to everyone

-Me

 

[qtowngirl]

Hi MadNerves!
Your post wasn't offensive at all, not to me anyway. And no worries about the venting, that's what we're all here for. Talk, ask, blab away, scream, shout, cry, and listen too. We pretty much all agree no one understands us but us so this is our place to go. Kind of like everyone in a workplace meeting at the pub after a hard day's work, to get stuff off our chest and let it all go and damn straight do we feel better by the time we get home.
I think your goals of going to Japan are awesome, and you never know, if it all works out you may end up meeting your sunshine over there!!
Glad you joined new friend!