Hi! My name is Tracey and in need of some help.

[Tracey1986]

Hi, first of all id like to say that im glad I found this site! I thought I was pretty much alone with this condition. Im 24 years old. I had my first grandmal when I was 22. I was in college class and woke up in the Ambulance. I thought I was being punished when I woke up because people suspected me on drugs or somthing. They also took my lisence. I already felt so confused and scared. I was in so much pain.

Sence then I have had grand mals at least once a month. This past year its been more like once a week. I feel like my life has been takin from me. I dont have anyone to talk to or who understands. My boyfriend feels sorry for me but thats it. He doesnt understand the horrible feelings and pain afterwards.

A week ago I was walking down the road and had one, people said that a man said he knew me and tried to take me in his car. So now my boyfriend wont let me leave the house anymore. Ive tried meds and none really work. The docs here (I moved to Mexico City from the US last year) are just stupid. They tell me to find out what I need and they will write me a script!

Now, the reason I came on this bored. Yesterday I walked down the road to the store and my boyfriend found out. He got mad and said, "what if you had a seziure?". He beat thecrap out of me! He punched me so much in my head that I have welts. Well after he was done (or in the middle I dont know) I had another grandmal. I woke up scared in my sister in laws bed, alone. Now its the next day and im in so much pain. I dont know if its from the seziure or the beating. I feel like I get blamed for the grandmals and I live with my boyfriends family and they think im just in the way of his life. What meds should I tell the doc? What do I do about the pain? Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to be dead. Do you ever feel that way?

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Tracey, welcome!

I don't know where to start -- epilepsy can be truly lousy, but a boyfriend who beats you is worse. You need to make sure you aren't seriously injured from the beating/seizure, and you need to get away from your abusive boyfriend. Can you call 911 (or the equivalent in Mexico City)? Can you get help from the police? Do you have any friends or family nearby? If not, then how quickly can friends and family to come to you, or can you get to them? Are there any protective services agencies you can contact?

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Tracey --

You might want to consider contacting the American Embassy in Mexico City for help. Below is the info. At the bottom is contact info for after-hours or emergencies.

ADDRESS:
American Embassy in Mexico City
Paseo de la Reforma 305
Colonia Cuauhtemoc
06500 Mexico, D.F.

E-MAIL: acsmexicocity@state.gov

TELEPHONES:

From Mexico:
Tel : ( 01-55 ) 5080-2000
Fax: ( 01-55 ) 5525-5040

From the U.S.:
Tel: 011-52-55-5080-2000
Fax: 011-52-55-5525-5040

WORKING HOURS (Central Time):

Monday-Friday (except U.S. and Mexican holidays)

U.S. Passports and Citizenship and Notary Services
Room 106
ext. 4326 & 4635

Passport Services: 8:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. by appointment only
Notary Services: 2:00pm to 4:00 p.m., Monday, Tuesday & Thursday by appointment only
American Citizens Services: ext. 4780, 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
Emergencies and Special Consular
Ext. 4780
8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
For after-hour emergencies, please call the Embassy at 01-52-55-5080-2000, press "0", and ask the switchboard operator to connect you to the duty officer.

 

[Tracey1986]

The police are no good here. They actually robbed me. I really dont have much family in Florida (where Im from). Well I have family but none that really know me. Ive been here a year and no one has tried to contact me. It seems like I had family and friends BEFORE I had these seziures. Now I really dont have anyone. I want to go back to the doc but I dont want him to put me one crazy meds. I told him that in the past I have been on Keppra, tegrotol, and Dilaintin. None helps all the way but keppra works best I think. Well he gave me a medicine in a box with out any real directions, he said it is just like Tegritol.

 

[Tracey1986]

yes ive tried them. They said I need a new passport and I need my birth certificate to get back in. Ive been trying to convince my mom to send it but she hasent and now she moved and I cant contact her. No one really gives a crap if I come back. It seems like the only one who acts like they care is my boyfriend. I know it isnt right what he did.

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Tracey --

Try contacting the American Embassy again for help -- it's important. Perhaps they can refer to an lawyer or agency that can help with replacing your passport.

Also, here are two English-speaking neurologists to try contacting for help with your meds. It's important to get something figured out soon, since your seizures are increasing in frequency.

Enrique Cardenas
Ave. Sur 136-4th Fl.
Col. America
Tel.: 5272-3465

Jaime Laventman
Reforma 2608-10th Fl
Tel.: 5081-8100 Ext. 8318

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Tracey --

Here's another resources:

Mexican Epilepsy Website:
http://www.epilepsiahoy.com/index2.html

My Spanish isn't great, but it looks you can hit the "consultorio" tab at the upper right to contact the site doctors via email.

And here's addl. contact info for the neurologist who founded the Epilepsy group "Acceptation":

Dr. Lilia Núñez Orozco Tel. 52(55)52003474
President of the Mexican Chapter of IBE Tel. & Fax 52(55)52003452 and the Latin American Committee of IBE
San Francisco 1384 7° Piso B Col. Del Valle lilianuor@yahoo.com
México, 03100, D.F. www.epilepsiahoy.com

 

[Rae1889]

Tracey.
You need to get out of there. Contact the embassy and tell them you dont have those documents as they were stolen, your family in the US has moved and you need help. They will verify your identity one way or another. You must have immigration papers or a work visa or something right?

Plus you can contact your old neurologist and he can verify who you are. If need be find a womens shelter some where in mexico that you can go to. Try the police again too. I have a hard time believing that ALL of them are jerks that just want to rob you. You;ll find one who wants to help you.

If need be, go down to the embassy in person. instead of calling and claim refugee as an american. even if you have your old passport it still proves you are an american.

 

[dragonlady1978]

Tracey-
I've spent some time in Mexico, and honestly I can understand why you are reluctant to deal with the police. I had a personal experience with that myself, there is alot of corruption and downright ugliness.

You have to contact the American Embassy. You have to be honest with them about what you are going through, and they will help you verify your identity and get back to the States....it's what they are there for.

I know that dealing with epilepsy can make things difficult enough. You don't need the added stress and danger of an abusive boyfriend.

While you are still there it would be wise to get your prescriptions, it's much cheaper there and easier to get whatever you need....and you can bring back several months worth to keep you with the proper treatment until you can get back on your feet.

I'm kindof assuming that you want to come back...but you haven't really said. If that's not the case, there's no reason why you can't do better right where you are. Maybe you have friends you can stay with until you can get everything else straight? Anything is better than letting someone abuse you.

The feelings you are having are understandable for someone in your situation. Plenty of people go through a period of grief or depression when they have medical problems, and when they feel isolated from family. Unfortunately these aren't the only negative issues you are dealing with right now. The abuse is something you have control over-if you deal with that then the rest can begin to be managed without compounding those feelings and I promise it won't feel so hopeless.

In the meantime, regardless of what happens or what you decide there are plenty of people here to talk to (myself included, feel free to pm me anytime) if you need it

 

[Endless]

Tracey,

The way your boyfriend is beating and controlling you is extremely serious, and so are your seizures.

I'm guessing you don't have many friends right now because of your boyfriend and his controlling and isolating behavior, not because of you. When free from your boyfriend your friends and family might come through.

I agree with everyone - you must get out of that situation with your boyfriend and his family. The American Embassy will replace your passport, whether you have supporting documents or not. They will also help you get home.

When someone abuses you, there's a pretty nasty scenario. It starts with a man treating you like a princess, then he isolates you from friends and family, then starts eroding your self esteem to the point you aren't able to leave him, don't think you can, or don't want to. That continues until he totally controls you and all aspects of your life. That's why it is so important to get out now, while you still can.

Here's a link to a Wikipedia article that has in-depth info on domestic violence:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

One thing it doesn't adequately cover is the cycle of abuse: Honeymoon, walking on eggshells, explosion, and back to honeymoon.

The honeymoon phase is when he treats you like a queen, says how much he loves you, etc. Everything is wonderful.

Then you start walking on eggshells, because he shows behavior that makes you know a blow up is coming soon. It might be grouchiness on his part, even more controlling behavior, threats, or anything else that makes you uneasy or afraid, and is a clue to his current mental state.

The explosion is an episode of more intense abuse, like hitting, verbal attacks, etc.

Back to the honeymoon he may say he's sorry, that he loves you, and starts treating you like a princess again. But it's all a crock. Soon he'll be hitting you again.

Get out. NOW. Any way you can.

You definitely have our love, support, and any help we can give.

 

[valeriedl]

I'm so sorry about what's going on with your life. I can't give you as much information as alot of the other's have, but the first thing you need to do is get away from that guy. You said that he "feels sorry" for you, but when he beats you - then he doesn't feel anything for you.

Try all the things that the others have suggested to get out of Mexico. But first get away from this guy. You may feel that you need him to have a roof over your head but not if he abuses you. There has to be somewhere you can go. As someone else suggested a friend or even some type of shelter and then do everything you can do to get out of Mexico.

I hope things will work out for you, try like crazy and don't stop. It may seem hard, but if it's something that needs to be done it will be worth it for all the time and work that you put into it.

 

[huskymom]

Tracey,

Oh my gosh girl! One thing after another has not gone right for you and you sound as if you are becoming desperate. Understandable for someone so young. PLEASE listen to what all of your new friends here on this site are asking you to do. You HAVE to get out of the situation with this guy. If I am not mistaken, he is the reason that you moved to Mexico City. You must feel totally lost there. The Embassy will help you. They can give you the names of places to go to get away from him and his family while you are trying to work things out to get back to the states. They can give you the names of some other Americans there who are willing to help you and give you a place to stay. You will be surprised at how many Americans are there who would be more than happy to help you. You need the stress out of your life to help with your seizures. I wish you all the best, and please let us know how you are doing.

 

[Tracey1986]

Thank you all for replying. I think im going to go to the American Embassy Monday. Yesterday I was totally out of it after the beating and the grandmal I had. Then morning when my boyfriend woke up he told me I was a lazy bit·h for not cleaning yesterday. I tried to explain it to him and he jerked my neck down. My neck is where most of the pain is after seziures. He thinks that I should be fine after, he pointed out how I worked in America after seziures. Actually I always ended up in the hospital and didnt work a couple days. He knows that because I was in the hospital for 3 days and he came to visit me. I also wasnt having them as much (maybe once a month or so) Now it seems like I have them once a week or so! I feel totally week and powerless. Thanks for your help so much. Does any of you have facebook? If you do, my name is Tracey Harmon from Panama City FL (living in Mexico). Add me as a friend.

 

[Tracey1986]

Oh also I want to ask...
My jaw pops out of place every time I open my mouth and you can hear it loud. Sometimes after seziures I cant open it at all. Sometimes when I eat I cant open it all the way. Ive had this for years, does anyone else have this?

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Tracey, definitely go to the Embassy on Monday (if not sooner!), and tell them everything you've told us. Please let us know how it goes.

Did you have the jaw problem before you started having seizures, or do you think it could have been the result of an injury during a seizure? (My shoulder pops out of place because of a seizure injury). If the jaw stuff pre-dates your first seizures, then there could be a few different causes, including TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint disorder), damage to the trigeminal nerve, or injury to /inflammation of muscles in the mouth. A dentist would be a good place to star for a diagnosis.

 

[dragonlady1978]

Yes I have TMJ (not seizure related, my son is the one with Epilepsy). Mine's not from an injury per se but from grinding my teeth in my sleep for many years. Sometimes it's not bad at all, and sometimes it gets stuck where I can't open my mouth more than a small gap. The clicking when I open and close my mouth never goes away.

I had an er doc diagnose mine. He also suggested I needed to see a dentist to be fit for a guard, but I don't have dental and there's no way I can afford it. I take muscle relaxers for an unrelated condition and that helps.

Drugstores sell a customizable guard that works in a similar manner as the one a dentist makes, you boil them and they have stuff inside that gets mushy with heat that you bite to make it mold to your mouth, keeps it's form when it cools and provides something besides your jaw to absorb the tension to keep from making it worse. It does help, but I'm sure the "legit" ones are much better if you are able to have one made.

 

[Endless]

Tracey,

I'm so relieved that you are going to the embassy. This is important - Don't let anybody in that household know you are going to the embassy, or that you are thinking of leaving. Pretend that it's a day like any other day. Abusers are at the most dangerous when they think you are going to leave them. If you tell any member of his family, or anyone who knows them, they could tell your boyfriend and it could go very badly for you. Get together any money you might have and just go. If his relatives see you leaving and ask where you are going, tell them a place that won't make them suspicious and keep walking.

On the embassy's website, they say they can provide information on organizations that can help with domestic violence. The quote below is a long way down on the web page.

The following information is available from our office upon request, or on the Internet as noted below.

2. Victim assistance resources for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse and other violent crimes in our consular district in Mexico.

http://www.usembassy-mexico.gov/eng/eacs_victims.html

Here's the site on replacing lost passports. What they said was a surprise to me. They require documentation. A friend of mine was in europe and lost her passport, only had a driver's license, and they replaced her passport no problem. But that was a number of years ago, pre-9/11. I'm sure that if you explain the circomstances to them, they will figure out a way to replace your passport and get you home.

http://mexico.usembassy.gov/eng/eacs_passports_lost.html

On the internet it says the consulate will loan you the money to get a plane ticket home, upon arrival in the U.S. they'll take your passport and keep it until you pay the money back for the plane ticket.

 

[ColmanMac]

Hi Tracey; For what my advice may be worth, everything can be sorted in stages - even the E is insignificant when you're with a muppet who kicks the sh*t out of you - Get away now - go to your embassy & camp on their doorstep - refuse to go away - take charge of this one little bit first & when you're safe everything else will slot into place - the folk here will take ownership of your probs - honestly - if your bloke had done anything like that to a friend of mine, I'd have his legs broken within 24 hrs - he sounds a regular effing hero!!

 

[queen_mama]

Oh hun.

I had a few of my first seizures at school and woke up in the ambulance too. I used to have an abusive boyfriend and he isn't worth it. I do feel the dark place you are in right now. My meds are giving me horrible side effects and my doc just says I can't possibly feel like that. I know how you feel. I hate my life right now. I am miserable, but wouldn't ever hurt my family by doing something drastic. Find the light and keep your eyes there. Get away from him. Only you can make that decision.

 

[Tracey1986]

Hi Tracey, definitely go to the Embassy on Monday (if not sooner!), and tell them everything you've told us. Please let us know how it goes.

Did you have the jaw problem before you started having seizures, or do you think it could have been the result of an injury during a seizure? (My shoulder pops out of place because of a seizure injury). If the jaw stuff pre-dates your first seizures, then there could be a few different causes, including TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint disorder), damage to the trigeminal nerve, or injury to /inflammation of muscles in the mouth. A dentist would be a good place to star for a diagnosis.

Thats funny. The docs try to tell me it is TMJ. This did happen after my first seziure and each one it gets worse. I think its from clenching my jaw. I know its from the seziures. Thanks for your responces everybody!