I think im having a nervous breakdown

[scaredtodeath]

My father had a tumor removed from his brain in 1978 he had one seizure after the surgery then went many years seizure free he averages 1-2 seizures a year recently for no apparent reason the dilantin hes been on for over 30 years went toxic to a level of 45.5 they gradually brought it down and now its to low and he is having grand mal seizures so they are slowly bringing it back up well tonight he had another seizure im diagnosed with depression anxiety and severe ocd through therapy I found this started after witnessing his first seizure im having a hard time right now my dr put me on xanax and suggested I check myself in im scared I cant relax im always on edge and keep picturing his seizures over and over in my head any suggestions on how to relax or information on seizures that might help me not think my dad is gonna die everytime he seizes ive talked to drs and researched line but I thought maybe if I got some information from people who are or have gone through this maybe I could find some reAl help.

 

[scaredtodeath]

Please any info would help this is destroying me and my family

 

[marty]

Gday .
I know it is easy to say it but you have to stop thinking the wrong way ! i have had at least 1 mental breakdown also depression , anxiety , post traughmatic stress , doc recon`s a benign brain tumor , then epilepsy hit me and so far i am nearly back to the old me , you have to talk to people , in australia we have beyond blue and i`ve been told that`s great ( google it ) , you have to stop stressing your doing it to yourself by the way you think , stop staying up late watching tv and get a good night`s sleep , make yourself to stop picturing his siezure ( you can do it , make yourself think of other things ) , ALSO WILL YOUR WORRY AND STRESSING HELP YOUR DAD , IT WONT YOU WILL ONLY BUGGER YOURSELF UP ~ IF YOU YOURSELF CAN`T FIX YOUR FATHER DON`T WORRY AND STRESS ABOUT IT ~ it would help your father and also yourself to not stress yourself till you do what i did ( breakdown ), when you start to think negatively you have to tell yourself not to , ALSO MATE HAVE A GREAT DAY !

 

[Nakamova]

Hi scaredtodeath,

I know it's very hard to witness a grand mal seizure, especially if a loved one is involved. But take it from me (I've had twenty grand mals) -- they aren't that bad for the person having them. Yes you can feel lousy afterwards, and yes there's soreness and the risk of injury, but there's no pain suffered during them because the person having one is unconscious the whole time. It's important for the person watching the seizure (you) to know this.

To get reassurance, talk to your father's doctors, and consider talking to a therapist as well. They will help you get a perspective on what you can or can't control, and what a reasonable level of worry is. In order to stop picturing your dad seizing, you need to fill your life and mind with positive images and experiences. Get involved in activities such as volunteering (to empower you and lift your self-esteem), group activities (to provide support and a sense of connection), and exercising (to help you "turn off" your mind altogether.

I know it isn't easy to make you mind behave the way you want to, but taking small steps can put you on a better path. Remember that one of the best ways to boost your dad is to be healthy and happy yourself.

I hope you are able to feel better soon.

 

[scaredtodeath]

had another seizure they are gonna up his keppra till they get hie dilantin under control my dad is now accusing my mom of making up that he had seizures he doesnt remeber them at he just knows he sore i saw the dr today they have now upped my zoloft put me on valium at night and xanax during the day

 

[mamasita]

Hey scared
First I send you a huge hug...
I know it is not easy to watch someone you love go through this. My fiance just found out he has left temporal lobe E and has petit mal seizures. Because of these he forgets so much , special moments we have had together, things that were said and done. I have watched him go from a strapping,confident, bull riding cowboy to someone in pain. Yeah, its the shits to watch. BUT, I love this man with all my heart and will be by his side through all of it. I educated myself and asked the great people here questions. And i got mad! This thing called E is not going to rob him or me out of having a great life together. One day at a time, one step at a time.
You need to let go of the vision in your head of the seizures. It is not doing you or your father any good. (sorry to be blunt) HATE the E! and learn to fight it.
Karen

 

[marty]

Gday mamasita .
my memory was bad for a while ( i couldn`t remember taking my tablets 5min later ) then tegratol & reducing stress stopped my siezures , my memory has recoverd to near normal , it`s great that you have stood by him , i now think " bugger epilepsy " i am going to have a great life .

have a great day .

 

[Zolt]

Good points made here, just to add, stop with the negative emotions and deal with the facts. Your dad has seizures, but he is still alive and able to be with you. Enjoy the time today that you have. Tomorrow, who knows what will happen, but today you're still here and he is still here so ENJOY the time. STOP thinking about the negatives, yes grand mals are ugly, but luckily it's not the end. Grand mal is a form of death, it's, lights out and then you wake up not knowing what the hell is going on. But it's ok, life continues. Try to make it as comfortable for him as possible. You need to be strong and remember that song, "What will be will be". Don't worry or stress, take deep breaths if needed, take a time out, whatever it takes, just don't dwell on the negatives, remember there are still a lot more positives to dwell on. Life is here now, what will be tomorrow you will deal with it then. Another old saying is when we get to that bridge, we will cross it then. Worrying about when the bridge will come will not make it come any sooner. Learn to relax, be calm and collective, react when needed, but don't over react.

Kepparage is common in folks taking Keppra, so if you notice that, please talk to his doctor about changing meds.

Peace,
Zolt

 

[Cint]

Hi Scared,

I've suffered from E for over 30 years and have two now grown children who've both witnessed many TC seizures when they were growing up. Several times they saw their momma taken away in an ambulance because of them. And it was then they thought I was going to die. But each time it happened, it made them stronger and more informed of what to do/not to do when witnessing someone seizing. Now they are willing to help others.
I've had my trials and tribulations with all types of seizures, meds, brain surgery and even the VNS and still had seizures plus struggled with depression. But with the help of therapists, we as a family got thru it. I still have memory problems and suffer aphasia. And I take 3000 mgs of keppra plus Topomax and Zoloft. Hang in there and take one day at a time. If my kids made it thru and now have a life of their own, then you can too.

 

[scaredtodeath]

Thanks so much for all the feedback its nice to talk with people who are going through the same things