Hello 
My last post was last year, where I discussed that I had about 8 of the "grand mal" seizures. Since then, I have had about 15 with the most recent being a week or so ago. Last year, I had so many in one month that I lost some parts of my memory. I use a mouthguard now so I don't have to worry about biting my tongue (at least so far)
I always had my "seizures" during the night, and I thought that the shaking/jerking I had throughout the day was just that and nothing big but it came to my attention that those would still be considered seizures. It hasn't affected my speech but I do find myself hesitate in speaking. It went from dropping things to just continuous jerking. It happens in the mornings and afternoons. Some days are better than others. I do not have medical insurance so all my medicine comes from overseas, they are just Extended Release generic brand of Lamictal, I'm taking 150 mg but I think I should increase my dosage since I am back to seeing no change.
Sometimes, I feel like I can deal with it and that I should stop complaining but while I'm shaking uncontrollably with my heart racing and not being able to do anything, I want it all to stop. I had an MRI done in 2009, where they found a cyst in my brain. Something fairly normal, but it was a year and half before I had my first full seizure so I am wondering if it's worth getting another one to see if it's the reason why I had a full one.
I don't know what else to do, I hate when I jerk in public because it's embarrassing and I try to pass it off as being a klutz and for those that know, I don't want to be a burden on them. I have been lucky enough to have people who deal with me at 2-3 am holding me as I shake until my heart stops racing and I can fall back to sleep, but I thought that with medication that it would mean that I could stop having seizures.
I honestly am at wits end. I'm not sure what else to do because I see a steady decline in my friendships and school and everything in between. I do not work because my drivers' license was suspended so I could not drive, so no insurance. I just want this to all go away
Any advice or information or just conversation would be helpful so I don't feel like this is all in my brain.
My last post was last year, where I discussed that I had about 8 of the "grand mal" seizures. Since then, I have had about 15 with the most recent being a week or so ago. Last year, I had so many in one month that I lost some parts of my memory. I use a mouthguard now so I don't have to worry about biting my tongue (at least so far)
I always had my "seizures" during the night, and I thought that the shaking/jerking I had throughout the day was just that and nothing big but it came to my attention that those would still be considered seizures. It hasn't affected my speech but I do find myself hesitate in speaking. It went from dropping things to just continuous jerking. It happens in the mornings and afternoons. Some days are better than others. I do not have medical insurance so all my medicine comes from overseas, they are just Extended Release generic brand of Lamictal, I'm taking 150 mg but I think I should increase my dosage since I am back to seeing no change.
Sometimes, I feel like I can deal with it and that I should stop complaining but while I'm shaking uncontrollably with my heart racing and not being able to do anything, I want it all to stop. I had an MRI done in 2009, where they found a cyst in my brain. Something fairly normal, but it was a year and half before I had my first full seizure so I am wondering if it's worth getting another one to see if it's the reason why I had a full one.
I don't know what else to do, I hate when I jerk in public because it's embarrassing and I try to pass it off as being a klutz and for those that know, I don't want to be a burden on them. I have been lucky enough to have people who deal with me at 2-3 am holding me as I shake until my heart stops racing and I can fall back to sleep, but I thought that with medication that it would mean that I could stop having seizures.
I honestly am at wits end. I'm not sure what else to do because I see a steady decline in my friendships and school and everything in between. I do not work because my drivers' license was suspended so I could not drive, so no insurance. I just want this to all go away
Any advice or information or just conversation would be helpful so I don't feel like this is all in my brain.