I'm sorry, I need to vent.

[SoonToBeMommy]

As most of you know I have a 2 month old daughter, She is adorable yes, but it is getting annoying her great aunt always taking pictures of her WITH the flash on! Come on a few pictures are fine, but taking like 20 pictures every time you see her? CHRIST! And then always saying oh is this wrong with her is that wrong with her! NOOO she is healthy and teething a bit. Her grandparents don't take that may pictures. Why do you need to? I really hope a baby can't be blinded by too many camera flashes. I don't even take that many pictures of her and I am her mother! And her great aunt is soooooo loud jesus! I am sorry, but this is annoying and I can't say anything about it because then she argues with me! She pisses me off telling me what I need to do and always telling me what I'm doing wrong! I know how to take care of my own child. And it's not that we don't see her often because she lives with my MIL and we visit a couple times a week. And she gets frustrated when my daughter doesn't smile or moves for a picture! She IS 2 months old! And every time my daughter cries she thinks she needs to eat and so my daughter gets overfed and pukes. She is basically trying to take over for my MIL because her family doesn't want anything to do with her because she is a bitch and not kidding about that her own sister (my MIL) even says so.

 

[Katie]

Vent away!! How frustrating!

I can't offer help but there's bound to be people here with good suggestions. I'm more prone to break her camera, lol!

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

Yea already been in an argument with her and I got so pissed off I was shaking.

 

[CathyAnn31]

Have you spoken up and told her to stop with the picture taking? Guess she doesn't realize pics look better without the flash.

I don't envy your situation and I hope it improves soon.

 

[CathyAnn31]

Double post

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

No, but if I tried she'd just get pissy and rude and she is already bitchy enough. Its just how she treats me in general that I don't like, but it pisses me off most that she keeps telling me what I am doing wrong with MY daughter. I mean seriously I know how to take care of my own kid.

 

[CathyAnn31]

Yes, you do.

Oh man, I can't even imagine having to put up with someone like that.

 

[Katie]

Me either. I'd lose it. So difficult when it's someone in the family too.

Has anyone else tried talking to her about it?

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

And constantly asks oh why does she look like this or that...it's like seriously she is 2 months old. Seriously she is still taking pictures geez! This is driving me so nuts!

 

[Katie]

Maybe it's just time to be really firm about it?

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

I wish I could be. But seeing as how she is like 50 or so. Doesn't work so good. She is really rude no matter what even when you try to help her she gets pissed off. I want to break the damn thing.

 

[rich956]

I feel bad for you (HUGS).Its like how can this be resolved without conflict.Venting is a start. but its your child and your a great parent.At some point your gonna have to (politely)put your foot down and discuss this with her. Good Luck.

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

Yea, if she ever just listens to people. Then she assumes I get mad at her when I don't then eggs me on. You mad UI know your mad your mad! OMFG!

 

[rich956]

is she married? is she a control person. is nothing right unless she says so ?

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

Not married. Lives with her sister (my MIL) always been bitchy, but worse since her back surgery.

 

[MaryK]

Since I am photosensitive that would really tick me off. Tell her no more pictures are allowed unless she adjusts her camera not to flash and she can only take a couple at a time even without a flash.

 

[huskymom]

Either tell her to stop or don't let her in your home. I don't think being 50 or so gives her a pass. I am 52 and if I was acting that way, I would expect someone to tell me. Time to let her know how this is making you feel. Since you mentioned that she is worse after her back surgery, maybe she is in pain. Ask her. So what if she gets rude and thinks you're mad at her? Maybe she won't be over as much. Sounds like a win-win to me!

 

[LJ-Bain]

Ah the joys of family.
Sometimes I use passive aggressive humour as a way to get my point across.
It doesn't always work but it makes me feel better.
Something like: "Ok, ground rule, only 2 pictures today and then I'm stealing your camera! Ha ha ha." And now that I have that person's attention I add on gently..."actually I didn't sleep well last night and that flash is giving me a headache. Do you think we could cut it back today? If it turns into a migraine I start vomiting and I think I can only handle my babys spit up today."

A pushy person is enough to push anyone over the edge. Good luck. I bet your MIL is grateful when you visit. A baby is a fabulous distraction away from her having to entertain her own sister!

The overfeeding would totally piss me off though. "OK, you can feed her again but if she spits up you have to change her outfit! Ha ha ha."

BTW...does she have any children of her own? Any grandchildren? It sounds like she is really jonesing for a baby in her life. Too bad it is yours for now!

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

The thing is she isn't over at our house. We go over to my MIL's and she lives there because she can't be on her own since the surgery although my MIL has threatened to kick her out a couple times. She has 2 kids and she has grandkids, but her family doesn't want anything to do with her at all. They were down for xmas yesterday and wouldn't even talk to her.

 

[Shawnna]

Having someone like that in your life can be very exhausting.

I'm quite comfortable with conflict so I'd just tell her to mind her own business in no uncertain terms and let the chips fall where they may.

Others aren't so comfortable with conflict so that wouldn't be the right answer.

Either way - you have every right to tell her how you feel. It may be healthier for you if you did.

Good luck to you.