You know ive been holding together really well the last few weeks and now im just so heartbroken and sad , im angry too i guess, i seriously feel my world is crashing down around me,
Im having this horrible selfishness , my brain is screaming HE IS LEAVING ME ALONE !!! and then im wondering how i can do it all alone, having 3 kids isnt easy, and having the one with E is very trying at times, I dont mean to be so selfish but at the same time im left wondering how can i do it all ....
But then somehow i get calm enough and remember " he doesnt give us anything we cant handle " as silly as this seems sometimes and no matter how much i doubt it, im sure it is true.
Only 6 more days and ill be sitting at an airport sobbing those heart wrenching sobs .
Ive decided to leave 2 of my kids with my mother who is coming to visit this weekend , My 10 yr old daughter isnt handling this to well , and then my 11 yr old the one who has E , is staying behind, my mother in law against all my wishes is planning on taking my youngest who is 8 to the airport just because he wants to go.....
We had a family bar b que lastnight , where it was sorta a see ya later party , and I was really hoping that taking him to the airport would be my time with him , but it doesnt look like it is going to work out that way.
Thank you all for your prayers and ill keep you posted about it im sure