My best friend - 3 kids newly divorced, i need to help her

[cincera]

hello,

my best friend has epilepsy, she is 33. She has had seizures since she was 12. She has also been married since she was 16, and has a 16 year old, a 13 year old and a 9 year old. She has recently divorced and has never been on her own with her illness. Her seizures are more frequent now, about 1-3 times a month.

With her recent divorce came a loss of medical insurance, and she is afraid to get on disability because of the risk of taking her drivers license. She has worked all her life, but now with the seizures, she also has debilitating migraines, that cause her loss of days at work, and cannot keep a job. I am watching her become severely depressed, also she has had the most beautiful skin all of her life, and now very severe acne. This is also diminishing her self esteem.

Her family is very "old school". Her father also has lived with epilepsy through his life. We live in a small town, that is known for having pretty bad healthcare options. She feels helpless, cannot afford her meds, and her family is giving her a hard time about not working and having to pay for her pills. Also her ex-husband is using her illness to try and lure her back to an abusive home.

I have already found so many resources on the internet, just in the last few hours of searching. She is not a computer person, and has not tried to reach out for herself. i just want her to feel secure that she can take care of herself and am hoping there are some programs that can give her a little support to get back on her feet. Also would like to know if anyone has information about disability and how she can keep her drivers license, being a single mother, she needs to be able to drive. She has never had an accident. She knows when she is going to be sick and stays in and sleeps/rests.

She is currently on tomapax and kepra. i know she took depakote before as well. She has mentioned to me that her hormones are playing a big part in her illness at the age she is at now...

any advice would be greatly appreciated, i hate to see her feel helpless! She has mentioned not wanting to live, and is in counseling for the abusive

thanks <3

 

[Endless]

Hi, Cincera,

Welcome to the forum!

What a good friend you are, to research and network on her behalf.

A good place to find help for her is to phone 2-1-1. They can hook her up with local social service resources. http://211us.org/

Getting on SSI will help in a number of ways, and money is just one of them. Another is after she has been on SSI a period of time, she'll get medicare. That will take care of her health insurance. Depending on her income she may also qualify for supplemental SSI income, plus medicaid from your state.

The criteria for driving isn't being on SSI payments - it is the type of seizures and how long ago you had them. Here's a link to look up the driving laws for your state. If she doesn't meet the criteria, she shouldn't be driving anyway. How would she feel if she had a seizure, was in an accident, and one of her children was seriously hurt? http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/living/wellness/transportation/drivinglaws.cfm

I noticed that NM is 1 year seizure free. She may want to ask her doc what that means. Mine interprets that as altered-consciousness seizure free. In other words, ones where I'm conscious don't count. It looks like your state is one where the doctor doesn't have to report his patient to the DMV. Same where I am. I kept my license because it is too hard to get back, put my license in a drawer, and voluntarily didn't drive for the required period.

For help with medication costs, check out this thread:
http://www.coping-with-epilepsy.com/forums/f23/when-you-cant-afford-medication-1452/

Will you keep us posted and let us know how she is doing?

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Cincera, welcome!

It's great that you are helping your friend. Please let her know that she is not alone, and there a lot of folks here at CWE who understand and can help.

If her seizures are increasing in frequency, that's a sign that her meds may need adjusting. If there's any way she can talk to her neurologist about this that would be a plus. Most likely the meds are contributing to her acne as well.

I'm sorry that she's dealing with migraines too. They seem to go hand-in-hand with epilepsy. An over-the-counter supplement that has helped some people with migraines is magnesium. If your friends wants to try it she should check with her doc to make sure it's okay, and then start on a very low amount to see if it helps. (If she gets the runs the dose is too high ).

Best,
Nakamova