New here.. Hi ... and alone, no one can relate to me in my life

[qtowngirl]

Yeah but newshoulder and shannon you're both here now... and I know you're new but trust all of us that once you're settled in things will feel different. WE get you, and WE can help!
No scapegoats or shit magnets here you can take that to the bank.

 

[new shoulder]

phew!

 

[Fedup]

new shoulder

Sorry to tell you this, as I am having a bad week, qtowngirl is correct in what she says.

 

[ShannonD]

i just found this site too. Also feel the same as many here: can't relate to the world around me, to the people. I see the people all seem to relate to each other, and i find i do well one on one, but i'm terrible in groups and my different-ness has always made me stand out, in a bad way. scapegoat and shit magnet. Not being walked over while t-c'ing in the hallway, but walked over figuratively in the job place, the social life, and in my family.

Never knew what was wrong. Age 40 finally got the news. All these years my self-image has been formed and solidified through the faulty perceptive/cognitive epileptic brain and been very depressing and turned to much self-loathing. Now i know epilepsy is at the root of the problems, i am trying to do a psychological overturn, to see what's me and what's based in epilepsy, and i find that nobody can help. the best i get is ppl here and there try to understand what it must be like.

Good luck.

Trust me... I know all to well that feeling! I'm saying 23 years of embarrassment!!!
I felt less than, worthless, extremely depressed, ugly so on and so forth... but you know what?? I take a look around and notice all these beautiful, kind, smart and very normal people that have epilepsy! and by me insulting myself... I am insulting these people... and that is horrible! What it all boils down to is my own self hatred! I am mad at myself and dislike myself! I hate my seizures and I hate the disorder ! Who doesn't hate it? So since I hate the seizures and the fact I have it... I hate myself.. I am my worst enemy. I know what you feel.. Hopefully with you being here as for me... we will find friends and can these feelings we are feeling will go away... we are all the same here... we all know what we are feeling and that in itself is comforting! Everyone here can say "DAMN I KNOW HOW THEY ARE FEELING AND OMG THAT SUCKS!! I WILL BE THERE FOR THEM" ... you will be OK.. if you need to vent I am always here

 

[new shoulder]

23 so far!

 

[ShannonD]

I have felt very comfortable here.. I'm glad I chose to communicate here

 

[rich956]

new shoulder and Shannon welcome to CWE
we are all here to help each other deal with whatever we have to deal with, this site has been absolutely wonderful to me I have made friends and felt the same feelings as the rest of members that reside in this community. One lonely night while searching the web I came upon this site rather by accident and I got to reading some of the posts and I knew I found a home there were people like me and people like themselves this is been this is been a wonderful journey for me. This is help me cope with the problems I have today I have two stories to tell. One is before I had before I had epilepsy I had met this young girl to whom later would become my wife she suffered epilepsy since she was nine I took care of her over the years shadow perfectly normal child my son and then she died suddenly in her sleep from a seizure. Two years almost to the day after she died I acquired epilepsy from what I believe was the ultimate hell a lot of stress and a lot more stress so you have come to the right place you have a lot of friends here. So welcome aboard.:woot:

 

[ShannonD]

new shoulder and Shannon welcome to CWE
we are all here to help each other deal with whatever we have to deal with, this site has been absolutely wonderful to me I have made friends and felt the same feelings as the rest of members that reside in this community. One lonely night while searching the web I came upon this site rather by accident and I got to reading some of the posts and I knew I found a home there were people like me and people like themselves this is been this is been a wonderful journey for me. This is help me cope with the problems I have today I have two stories to tell. One is before I had before I had epilepsy I had met this young girl to whom later would become my wife she suffered epilepsy since she was nine I took care of her over the years shadow perfectly normal child my son and then she died suddenly in her sleep from a seizure. Two years almost to the day after she died I acquired epilepsy from what I believe was the ultimate hell a lot of stress and a lot more stress so you have come to the right place you have a lot of friends here. So welcome aboard.:woot:

Omg I am so sorry about your wife :'( that's so sad. The people here have been so wonderful .... I am happy I found this. I have to admit though... I was nervous of coming across numb skulls that only come around to joke and make fun of epilepsy... I was worried about that.. I have come across people like that on fb.. but I feel safe here... and I like the people...

 

[qtowngirl]

I am mad at myself and dislike myself! I hate my seizures and I hate the disorder ! Who doesn't hate it? So since I hate the seizures and the fact I have it... I hate myself.

Yes I hate it, hence the screen name, but I don't hate myself for having it. They are still working on the reason why it reared its ugly head into my life, but have reassured me a few times that it's not something I did. If something bad happens to someone else and I didn't have a hand in it then I wouldn't feel guilty or hate myself for that - and it's no different with me.
In the end Shannon all we have is ourselves, so to hate yourself for something you had no part in is just adding more stress and bad feelings to a pretty full plate. And stress can cause seizures!! Pls don't hate yourself or be mad, and if you really feel like you should then see if you can give yourself just one reason why. If you can think of one thing you've done to bring Epilepsy into your life then fine... but I'm positive you won't get very far.

HUGS to you - none of us asked to be here, you included.

 

[gigi]

Hi Shannon. Welcome to CWE. You not alone and there are plenty of us that kow some of what you are feeling. I was diagnosed a age 11.and am still going strong with some bumps in the road along the way. This site has been a saving grace for me during some dark days. At 55 I still amlearning plenty. Glad you are here.

 

[ShannonD]

Yes I hate it, hence the screen name, but I don't hate myself for having it. They are still working on the reason why it reared its ugly head into my life, but have reassured me a few times that it's not something I did. If something bad happens to someone else and I didn't have a hand in it then I wouldn't feel guilty or hate myself for that - and it's no different with me.
In the end Shannon all we have is ourselves, so to hate yourself for something you had no part in is just adding more stress and bad feelings to a pretty full plate. And stress can cause seizures!! Pls don't hate yourself or be mad, and if you really feel like you should then see if you can give yourself just one reason why. If you can think of one thing you've done to bring Epilepsy into your life then fine... but I'm positive you won't get very far.

HUGS to you - none of us asked to be here, you included.

You are so right! No, I have no way to blame myself for the seizures.. I know I didn't cause them... I guess living with it for SO long and not knowing another soul (personally) with it I guess I felt like the "different one" and the brunt of the jokes from horrible people! You are so right dislike in myself us causing a lot of stresses... wow... thank you for your words....

Hugs to you too

 

[ShannonD]

Hi Shannon. Welcome to CWE. You not alone and there are plenty of us that kow some of what you are feeling. I was diagnosed a age 11.and am still going strong with some bumps in the road along the way. This site has been a saving grace for me during some dark days. At 55 I still amlearning plenty. Glad you are here.

Thank you so much
You started at 11? Wow... I was 13 and I'm 36 now. Is your seizures controlled now? I have met some LOVELY people here so far and I'm so happy I came here... it makes me feel so much better to relate and share with people that know what I'm experiencing and vice versa!!

 

[gigi]

control

Hi Shannon: you asked if my seizures are controlled. Yes, relatively controlled,it has been a little over 2 years since my last t/c. I have had some simple partials since then. But am only on dilantin. I feel lucky that I do as well as I do. I have a gratitude list! Hugs to you.

 

[ShannonD]

Ll

Hi Shannon: you asked if my seizures are controlled. Yes, relatively controlled,it has been a little over 2 years since my last t/c. I have had some simple partials since then. But am only on dilantin. I feel lucky that I do as well as I do. I have a gratitude list! Hugs to you.

That's really good they are fairly controlled. Mine well the T/C are fairly controlled but the partials are NOT. I wish they were. I'm happy to hear that about you T/C though

HUGS

 

[LisaBee]

Hi Shannon!! Welcome

 

[LisaBee]

LOL@Shit magnets...thanks for the laugh Qtowngirl

Yeah but newshoulder and shannon you're both here now... and I know you're new but trust all of us that once you're settled in things will feel different. WE get you, and WE can help!
No scapegoats or shit magnets here you can take that to the bank.

 

[ShannonD]

Hi Shannon!! Welcome

Hi Thank You... nice to meet you

 

[stacey]

Hi

welcome to cwe and I know that you will find the support here, im new here too and i came upon this site by accident and im very happy i have.

There's definately something being able to say to another person whats going on and not needing to explain, we have all been there/are there and know what you are talking about

I have found that talking to those who know is a stress reliever and it will give you the confidence to fight for what you believe in for yourself

all the best

stacey