New here. Wih TLE

[Mojeaux86]

I have Temporal lobe epilepsy. I show the typical signs. I'm highly religious but am atheist. If that makes sense. I'm fascinated/obsessed with religion but I can't believe in a god. This can be very stressful at times. Every time I have a gran mal seizure my aura is me walking with "god" and he's showing me my surroundings but theyre all destroyed . The feeling I get is "god" is trying to show me something important. I have a feeling of knowing the answer to everything. "god" in this aura is a small creature ( best way i can describe it ). In my opinion this is the best feeling ever like everything is perfect. I have déjà vu simple partials( I think that's correct). The déjà vu seems to be a dreamy state or more like a second conscious. I feel like its a flashback to a dream I've actually had before but I can't remember ever having this dream. I know sounds weird . I have a tendency to read a lot. Ill go periods of time without any reading but then I pickup on a subject usually history/religion and l explode reading everything I can find. Sad thing is I don't remember half of it . Especially dates or anything to do with numbers.

 

[jyearta]

Hi mojeaux86,

Welcome to CWE. I too have TLE. It has always taken two meds. to control my siezures ..pretty much.
I'm a Christian, and don't what I would do if I didn't have Jesus in my life.

 

[Cint]

Hi mojeaux86 and welcome to CWE,

I also have TLE and have tried many meds over the years. When I've had TC's, the aura's consist of the world suddenly slowing down, like in movies where things are in slow motion, and everything around me gets louder and louder..... then I'm gone. Several times I've heard those hallucinatory voices right before the seizure... none of them good.... like evil, threatening voices. Good thing I don't hear them for very long.

Many people with TLE have experienced those religious feelings you describe, although I never have. It's a brain thing. I'm agnostic.

Here is a great website that goes into detail about TLE and religion:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2003/godonbrain.shtml
God on the Brain

 

[Chris515]

Welcome to CWE Mojeaux.

I have TLE as well. I find your experiences with religion and TLE interesting.

I tend to feel fear during SP's and auras, like the devil is talking to me or something.. kind of what you experience Cint. But I don't hear them like I would hear anything else, it's like they're just talking inside my head if that makes sense.

I've often wondered if there was a religious aspect to the feelings I get during/before seizures but I've never really settled on an opinion.

 

[MuayThaiFighter]

Welcome

My auras were this weird feeling of fear or panic out of no where. Sometimes my mind would echo, I have no clue how to explain the auras.

 

[PFunk]

Your SP’s sound amazing. Their profundity and beauty must be a powerful source of insight and inspiration. I have all sorts of SP’s but nothing as wonderful as yours. You’ve been given a gift by this horrid condition…. A doubled edge sword….

I do find myself continually finding more meaning in the world around us.

 

[momof3boys]

I have temporal lobe epilepsy and during my simple partial seizures I experience fear, and sadness. I can just get this feeling that something aweful is going to happen. Ive never experienced anything religious I would say during any simple partials, or other kind of seizures.

 

[Cint]

You’ve been given a gift by this horrid condition…. A doubled edge sword….

Call it what you want. I call it a like it is...... ictal experience(s) of some with TLE.

Spirituality and religion in epilepsy.
Devinsky O, Lai G.
Department of Neurology, NYU School of Medicine, NYU

Revered in some cultures but persecuted by most others, epilepsy patients have, throughout history, been linked with the divine, demonic, and supernatural. Clinical observations during the past 150 years support an association between religious experiences during (ictal), after (postictal), and in between (interictal) seizures. In addition, epileptic seizures may increase, alter, or decrease religious experience especially in a small group of patients with temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE). Literature surveys have revealed that between .4% and 3.1% of partial epilepsy patients had ictal religious experiences; higher frequencies are found in systematic questionnaires versus spontaneous patient reports. Religious premonitory symptoms or auras were reported by 3.9% of epilepsy patients. Among patients with ictal religious experiences, there is a predominance of patients with right TLE. Postictal and interictal religious experiences occur most often in TLE patients with bilateral seizure foci. Postictal religious experiences occurred in 1.3% of all epilepsy patients and 2.2% of TLE patients. Many of the epilepsy-related religious conversion experiences occurred postictally. Interictal religiosity is more controversial with less consensus among studies. Patients with postictal psychosis may also experience interictal hyper-religiosity, supporting a "pathological" increase in interictal religiosity in some patients. Although psychologic and social factors such as stigma may contribute to religious experiences with epilepsy, a neurologic mechanism most likely plays a large role. The limbic system is also often suggested as the critical site of religious experience due to the association with temporal lobe epilepsy and the emotional nature of the experiences. Neocortical areas also may be involved, suggested by the presence of visual and auditory hallucinations, complex ideation during many religious experiences, and the large expanse of temporal neocortex. In contrast to the role of the temporal lobe in evoking religious experiences, alterations in frontal functions may contribute to increased religious interests as a personality trait. The two main forms of religious experience, the ongoing belief pattern and set of convictions (the religion of the everyday man) versus the ecstatic religious experience, may be predominantly localized to the frontal and temporal regions, respectively, of the right hemisphere.

I guess that is why I don't experience any of this. My seizures stem from the left hemisphere. onder:

 

[PFunk]

Call it what you want. I call it a like it is...... ictal experience(s) of some with TLE.

You sure can look at it that way. Glass half empty or glass half full. Just because it’s in my head doesn’t mean it's any less real for me. Some of us experience things that alter our view of the world. Allow us to at things differently, that would otherwise be impossible without these experiences. Look at all the amazing people and works that have come from epilepsy.

Yup, I sure could focus on all the miserable things that are associated with epilepsy, or I could focus on the few good things. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being disheartened and depressed. It’s old, now it’s time for me to make the best of what I have and stop putting my life on hold…. if otherwise I might as well be dead. But hey that’s just my opinion.

 

[Chris515]

A good way of thinking P-Funk!

I'm tired of the depression too, but I can't seem to break out of it. Sometimes the feeling of helplessness gets to me. But there are good days when I say 'F-it, I'm not going to let this control me'. I've just got to apply that every day.

You sure can look at it that way. Glass half empty or glass half full. Just because it’s in my head doesn’t mean it's any less real for me. Some of us experience things that alter our view of the world. Allow us to at things differently, that would otherwise be impossible without these experiences. Look at all the amazing people and works that have come from epilepsy.

Yup, I sure could focus on all the miserable things that are associated with epilepsy, or I could focus on the few good things. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being disheartened and depressed. It’s old, now it’s time for me to make the best of what I have and stop putting my life on hold…. if otherwise I might as well be dead. But hey that’s just my opinion.

 

[Mojeaux86]

My simple partials are amazing. If it wasnt for my gran mal seizures i wouldnt be on meds. They're that powerful of an experience.

If only I could believe. Just something inside of me won't let me believe in a god. it's kinda messed up countless people who believe in god would love to have these "visions" but never have them.

After doing research a lot of these symptoms are shared with a lot of people throughout history. A lot of them being religious figures. So I believe they were having theses partials like me but they believed in god so their writings reflected what they saw.

 

[Mojeaux86]

To me it's a curse and a blessing at the same time.

 

[PFunk]

This is how Fyodor Dostoyevsky said it in the 'idiot'.

"He remembered that he always had one minute just before the epleptic fit when suddenly in the midst of sadness, spiritual darkness and oppression, there seemed at moments a flash of light in his brain, and with extraordinary impetus all his vital forces suddenly began working at their highest tension. The sense of life, the consciousness of self, were multiplied ten times at these moments which passed like a flash of lightning. His mind and heart were flooded with extraordinary light... But these moments, these flashes, were only the prelude of that final second in which the fit began."

"at the very last conscious moment before the fit began, he had time to say to himself clearly and consciously, "Yes, for this moment one might give one's whole life!"

 

[Cint]

Look at all the amazing people and works that have come from epilepsy.

Yup, I sure could focus on all the miserable things that are associated with epilepsy, or I could focus on the few good things. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being disheartened and depressed.

:agree: I didn't mean to say that none of us have experienced things that altered our minds, but to say, it is a BRAIN thing, like depression. I, too, got tired of being disheartened and depressed and disillusioned by it all.

And Chris, DON'T let that depression and feeling of helplessness take control of you. Hang in there!

 

[Cint]

After doing research a lot of these symptoms are shared with a lot of people throughout history. A lot of them being religious figures. So I believe they were having theses partials like me but they believed in god so their writings reflected what they saw.

I've done a lot of research on epilepsy and religion, also. And much of the research has revealed that temporal lobe seizures from the right side can alter one's belief's. If you read what I posted before, this is what was said about TLE and religious beliefs/God.

 

[PFunk]

:agree: I didn't mean to say that none of us have experienced things that altered our minds, but to say, it is a BRAIN thing, like depression.

I hear what your saying, but life is a brain thing. That's where we exist. Reality is unique to the individual. My grandfather had dementia and thought my grandmother was cheating on him. He would always follow and checkup on her. While she was not cheating, in his mind she very much was and it devastated him. All I am saying is our brains dictate how we process the world around us and define our reality. They're organic computers and when they short circuit, lines cross and parts are stimulate out of time. Epilepsy shows the complexity of our minds. That's the lemonade. We are made aware of the parts behind the machine. We know things others can't. Some use these experiences as insperation for creativity.

 

[PFunk]

I've done a lot of research on epilepsy and religion, also. And much of the research has revealed that temporal lobe seizures from the right side can alter one's belief's. If you read what I posted before, this is what was said about TLE and religious beliefs/God.

I to have read a lot about religion and epilepsy. Most think that St. Paul's E driven hyposexuality resulted in the churches conservative stance on sex. Most religions are thought to be formed around TLE. If I was in a tribe I might be able to lock down a position of Shaman because I can speak with the spirits.

I've alsopoored over it's effect on creativity. It's the only good thing about E. I guess I'm saying, in our minds or not, its ok to embrace it while still hating it.

 

[Cint]

I to have read a lot about religion and epilepsy. Most think that St. Paul's E driven hyposexuality resulted in the churches conservative stance on sex. Most religions are thought to be formed around TLE. If I was in a tribe I might be able to lock down a position of Shaman because I can speak with the spirits.

And some think St. Paul's "visions" were epilepsy related.

I thought most religions were formed around war.

How has the geography of religion evolved over the centuries, and where has it sparked wars? Our map gives us a brief history of the world's most well-known religions: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. Selected periods of inter-religious bloodshed are also highlighted. Want to see 5,000 years of religion in 90 seconds? Ready, Set, Go!

http://www.mapsofwar.com/images/arrow.gif

I've alsopoored over it's effect on creativity. It's the only good thing about E. I guess I'm saying, in our minds or not, its ok to embrace it while still hating it.

Yes, there are many creative folks with E.

COMPOSERS
There have been a number of prominent composers and musicians with epilepsy. George Frederick Handel, the famous baroque composer of the Messiah, is one. Niccolo Paganini is another. Paganini was an Italian violinist and composer considered by many to be the greatest violinist of all time. The eminent Russian composer of the ballets Sleeping Beauty and The Nutcracker, Peter Tchaikovsky, is believed to have had epilepsy. Ludwig van Beethoven, one of the greatest masters of music, may have had epilepsy as well.

CLASSICAL WRITERS WITH EPILEPSY
The list of famous authors and playwrights whom historians believe had epilepsy is overwhelming. It includes: Dante, the author of The Divine Comedy, who is not only Italy's pre-eminent poet but one of the towering figures of Western literature; Moliere, the master comic dramatist of the eighteenth century whose plays Tartuffe, The Imaginary Invalid and The Misanthrope are still being regularly performed today; Sir Walter Scott, one of the foremost literary figures of the romantic period whose books like Ivanhoe and Waverley remain widely read classics; the 18th century English satirist Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver's Travels; the nineteenth century American author Edgar Allan Poe; as well as three of the greatest English Romantic poets, Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and Alfred Lord Tennyson.

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Mojeaux86, welcome to CWE!

You might be interested in this book: http://books.google.com/books/about/Lying_Awake.html?id=yd_vw9KXlOYC

It's fiction, about someone in a similar experience vis-a-vis religion and her brain...

I hope you feel free to explore the different forums here at CWE.

Best,
Nakamova

 

[Chris515]

Thanks Cint! It's good to have support with these things. It makes it easier to snap out of those feelings.

:agree: I didn't mean to say that none of us have experienced things that altered our minds, but to say, it is a BRAIN thing, like depression. I, too, got tired of being disheartened and depressed and disillusioned by it all.

And Chris, DON'T let that depression and feeling of helplessness take control of you. Hang in there!