My first post. I have been reading other posts, but most of you seem more brave or have more will power than I do.
Quick synopsis of last 4 years.
Husband kissed me good bye, went to work and died unexecpted. I had lost my only son years before, and nothing prepared me for his loss too.
So I am a widower. In the 4 years that he died, I had a 7'th right knee surgery, a torn calf on the other leg and a broken ball of the other leg all because I favor the left leg.
Had a seizure and hadn't had one for over 20 years. On meds which make thinking hard and I am foggy and tired all the time.
Worked at a school with young special needs children. I physically could not do it anymore and they did not offer me a different job where it wasn't as physical. So I quit this year, just because I wanted one year of no orthopedic injury.
What I didn't take into consideration is how my brain function interferes with speaking. I drive only to a few places and sometimes I don't recognize where I am at. So now I am trying to understand how to answer interview questions to get a new job.
Not been good. Didn't understand how bad it is when someone asks me a question that is not an easy question. I just go blank...and can't find words. Can get words if questions are more specific.
I ended up on medical assistance. Just found out yesterday they don't pay for my meds.
And so now i am trying to brainstorm. Do I go off meds and quit driving and live until my money runs out. I do not see an option now.
The doctor wants to try another med, but living alone and having to go through a ton of meds that left me absolutely whacked, does not sound like living. I honestly can't see another option. I am not suicidal, but have never faced not being able to afford to live and not really wanting to see if the next med will kill me from crazy thoughts. Never thought i would end up with this problem. Not strong enough for criticism
right now. But very open to options that I cannot see that maybe someone else will see. Thank you.
Quick synopsis of last 4 years.
Husband kissed me good bye, went to work and died unexecpted. I had lost my only son years before, and nothing prepared me for his loss too.
So I am a widower. In the 4 years that he died, I had a 7'th right knee surgery, a torn calf on the other leg and a broken ball of the other leg all because I favor the left leg.
Had a seizure and hadn't had one for over 20 years. On meds which make thinking hard and I am foggy and tired all the time.
Worked at a school with young special needs children. I physically could not do it anymore and they did not offer me a different job where it wasn't as physical. So I quit this year, just because I wanted one year of no orthopedic injury.
What I didn't take into consideration is how my brain function interferes with speaking. I drive only to a few places and sometimes I don't recognize where I am at. So now I am trying to understand how to answer interview questions to get a new job.
Not been good. Didn't understand how bad it is when someone asks me a question that is not an easy question. I just go blank...and can't find words. Can get words if questions are more specific.
I ended up on medical assistance. Just found out yesterday they don't pay for my meds.
And so now i am trying to brainstorm. Do I go off meds and quit driving and live until my money runs out. I do not see an option now.
The doctor wants to try another med, but living alone and having to go through a ton of meds that left me absolutely whacked, does not sound like living. I honestly can't see another option. I am not suicidal, but have never faced not being able to afford to live and not really wanting to see if the next med will kill me from crazy thoughts. Never thought i would end up with this problem. Not strong enough for criticism
right now. But very open to options that I cannot see that maybe someone else will see. Thank you.
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