Over protective mom

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Kelly

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My daughter says I'm over protective. She just had back to back seizures yesterday. We have prepaid tickets to Hershey park tomorrow and she is so angry that I won't let her ride roller coasters. She wants to pretend she does not have seizures. She refuses to face the facts that she has some limitations. She is so negative and I try to point out the positive and I try to reason with her but nothing works. I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent with a child with epilepsy. I may rant a lot on this forum since I have no other outlet. I hope everyone will be patient with me. :(
 
Kelly

You are welcome to C.W.E. and rant all you want. It cannot be easy being a parent of a child with epilepsy, let me try and should you a different side. Are you sure she does not want to face the facts or is she just rebelling and saying I am normal, because she is normal. Remember when you were a child did you want to listen to your parents, I know for me as a child with epilepsy nothing was going to stop me, there were no limitations and I have done most of the things I was told I could not do, but even I had to realise eventually there are limits. Did you try giving her a bit more control over things and making her responsible, you can still keep a watch on what she is doing.
 
Thanks for responding. I am so glad to hear another perspective. She wont talk to me. She just says she is fine so I dont know how to act or what to do or say. She used to have the absence seizures and when those were under control with medication she was able to do anything she wanted with a little limitation. For example she needed someone who knew she had seizures to go swimming with her. She couldn't be alone or with someone who did not know anything about her seizures. I even let her stay home alone and play with her friends like any normal kid. Yesterdays seizures were different with no reason for them to happen. She has no known triggers and was not having any seizures what so ever. I just wish she would understand that until we have some tests done and get her meds up to the higher dosage that I want her to take it easy. She should have gone to the hospital with the back to back seizures but I didn't know what to do. She is rebelling and I admit that I don't understand what she is going through. Im afraid I'm not doing a good job at being her mom in this situation.
 
Hi Kelly, welcome to the forum. :hello:

Did I understand correctly that she had some breakthrough seizures yesterday and this was the first time that she had the type of seizure that she had yesterday?

Is she by chance entering her teenage years (with the corresponding changes to hormones)? That can affect seizure thresholds / activity (see discussions related to catamenial epilepsy).

In any event, her doctor(s) should definitely be alerted to the change.

What type of seizures did she have yesterday? Unless they present a danger for injury (like thrashing about while constrained), what is the objection to letting her ride a rollercoaster? If they are anything like the coasters Six Flags has at Fiesta Texas in San Antonio, she should be quite safe and secure riding one. $.02
 
Is that what they call them? Breakthrough seizures? Her neurologist thinks they were atypical seizures. What concerns me is during one of these seizures her head went up and to the right very stiff. I thought she was going to snap her neck. That lasted about ten seconds before she started to shake. I'm new to this so I don't know the lingo. Please bear with me. Anyway I'm afraid if this happens then the jarring will actually cause her neck to snap. I'm I being paranoid? She started the seizures last yr and that's when she started going through puberty. Her neurologist thinks she has been having them since she was 4 but I honestly don't think so. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on and it seems puberty makes the most sense. Yesterday was the last day of her period. Does that sound like maybe the reason? The ending of her pd?
 
What concerns me is during one of these seizures her head went up and to the right very stiff. I thought she was going to snap her neck. That lasted about ten seconds before she started to shake.
That's a fairly common thing with a grand mal seizure. It looks worse than it is -- it would be very unusual for her neck to snap. But if you're ever unsure about the extent of her injuries during a seizure, play it safe and go to the ER. Did she convulse and/or lose consciousness during her seizures? If so, then I agree that rollercoasters are a bit risky right now when you don't have a clear sense of what's going on.

Puberty (and the accompanying hormonal surges) can be a seizure trigger. It's called catamenial epilepsy. For different people, different phases of the cycle can be triggering. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catamenial_epilepsy

It's possible that your daughter's medication may need to be increased to provide a larger "safety margin" during the teenage years. Talk to her neurologist about her options.
 
Are grand mals the same thing as atypical seizures? What I have been reading has been confusing. It's telling me that a person slumps over when they have these. She did slump over but her whole body was shaking. That was the first one. The second one she stiffened then slumped and shook. She was not during the whole thing but when the shaking stopped she seemed to pass out. Eyes closed. When she opened her eyes both times they were fixed to the right but not looking at anything. She did lose consciousness for most of it. She remembers some things. The thing she remembers the most is she couldn't breathe. Is her shaking the convulsions? Is it normal to have more then one kind of seizure during an episode. It seemed she was having the absence in between the two others and one after the last. Sorry for all the questions but I just don't think the doctors are totally listening. But then again I'm totally clueless and be wrong. I'm looking for answers and I think there just aren't absolute definite ones. Plus I'm so overwhelmed when talking to them that I can't think straight. The questions come to me later. I'm so glad I finally have people to talk to and telling me they still live normal lives without someone always with them. That's the thing I was really looking for. Some assurance that things will be ok. This forum is really helping me cope with this. Thank you guys so much!
 
In a "typical" grand mal seizure, the person loses consciousness almost right away. The muscles are tensed, often with the neck turned and the eyes rolled back in the head. This is followed by a period of convulsing. The whole thing usually lasts less than 5 minutes. After it's over the person will gradually regain consciousness and awareness, but they will have no memory of what occurred.

If your daughter's seizures don't quite match this description, they may be "atypical". Some people have smaller seizures (called simple partial and complex partial seizures) where they are conscious. These can then escalate into a grand mal seizure. She may be having absence seizures, but if they last for more than a few seconds, and seem like "sleepwalking" -- i.e. she's conscious but not aware -- then she may be having complex partials.

I know this may be a lot to take in! It's a good idea to write down all the questions that come to you (it's guaranteed that you'll think of them after the appointment's over) and have them handy to ask the doctors next time you see or speak to them. And then write down the answers too, so you have something to refer to. At this point, it sounds like the main thing is to figure out the next steps -- either "wait-and-see" or an increase in her medication. Do her doctors have a recommendation?
 
They are upping her lamictal to 200 mg twice a day and has scheduled her for another EEG. Since her seizures have changed they want to see what it looks like in her brain. I think that's what they said. More or less. I wish I could record it all.

What you described as typical seizures is what I saw but since she remembers some things then maybe that's why they said atypical?

I will definitely start a journal of questions and answers but for some reason I feel better hearing the answers from ppl who have literally been through it or have a loved one and is going through it with them. Is that odd? At least this way I can compare answers and alternatives and get some opinions.

I just want to know that she will not die.
 
It's absolutely understandable and okay get info here at CWE (where you're guaranteed empathy, sympathy and support). But since we aren't her doctors, it's wise to double-check the details with them and make them earn their pay. :)
 
It is very hard having epilepsy and getting told thet you can`t do things that you would love to do , there is danger in what ever we do ( people die just driving down to the shops ) if she is restrained in the ride with you near i guess she would be reasonably safe , my condition wouldn`t stop me going on a restrained ride .
 
Is that what they call them? Breakthrough seizures?

A breakthrough seizure is an epileptic seizure that occurs despite the use of anticonvulsants that have otherwise successfully prevented seizures in the patient. ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakthrough_seizure

"atypical" means not typical. In this context, I take it to mean a different type of seizure from what she has experienced in the past.

... What concerns me is during one of these seizures her head went up and to the right very stiff. I thought she was going to snap her neck. That lasted about ten seconds before she started to shake. ...

That sounds to me like a complex partial seizure that generalized into a tonic clonic. It's a fairly common progression for people who have tonic clonic seizures.

... Anyway I'm afraid if this happens then the jarring will actually cause her neck to snap. I'm I being paranoid?

It's perfectly natural to be concerned. If it makes you feel any better, I have witnessed my wife experience well in excess of 100 tonic clonic seizures over the years. I've been there when she has dropped a glass and fallen/convulsed on the broken shards, when she stiffened up and shattered her two front teeth on a door jamb, when she stiffened up and fell and hit the crown of her head on a window sill opening a gash that gushed blood like a scene from a horror movie. She has fallen in the shower and convulsed in numerous places that didn't give her freedom of movement. In all cases, she never sustained any injuries from body parts snapping. When she goes rigid (the tonic part of the seizure) and falls, she has never been hurt from the fall in that manner (ie. from opposing force to the muscles).

... She started the seizures last yr and that's when she started going through puberty. Her neurologist thinks she has been having them since she was 4 but I honestly don't think so. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on and it seems puberty makes the most sense. Yesterday was the last day of her period. Does that sound like maybe the reason? The ending of her pd?

Yes, it sounds very likely to be a contributing factor. Folks with catamenial epilespy experience greater seizure activity in the days around the menstruation period. My wife actually adjusts the dosage of her medication slightly during these periods. Bear in mind that it is also possible that heavy bleeding during a period can affect the blood syrum of medication even if the hormonal changes aren't directly responsible for the changes to the seizure threshold (so a normal dose of medication may not be providing the same steady level of medication in the blood stream).

Are grand mals the same thing as atypical seizures? What I have been reading has been confusing. It's telling me that a person slumps over when they have these.

Grand Mal is old terminology and no longer used. Tonic Clonic is a more precise description for what most people used to call grand mal.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonic–clonic_seizure

It is possible to have clonic seizures (the convulsing) without the tonic (stiffening). That's one reason for the change in terminology - to allow a more precise description of what is happening for every individual.

... when the shaking stopped she seemed to pass out. Eyes closed. When she opened her eyes both times they were fixed to the right but not looking at anything. She did lose consciousness for most of it.

This is all pretty normal for a tonic clonic seizure. My wife always stops breathing for up to 10-15 seconds after the convulsions stop too (seems like a *lot* longer when you are witnessing it in the moment).

... Is her shaking the convulsions?

Yes. That is the clonic seizure.

... Is it normal to have more then one kind of seizure during an episode.

Many people can have up to 4 distinct seizure phases in an episode - an aura (simple partial seizure) precedes a complex partial seizure (head turn to the side, slurred speech) generalizes into a tonic seizure (stiffens and falls) precedes a clonic seizure (convulsions) followed by the no breathing followed by the post ictal phase (not fully conscious even if they open their eyes and manage to speak / respond confusedly to questions).

... Plus I'm so overwhelmed when talking to them that I can't think straight. The questions come to me later.

I highly recommend you get a notebook and write down questions that you want to ask before you get there. I also recommend a "seizure diary/journal/calendar" where you (or your daughter) takes notes on seizure activity (type, frequency, duration, etc.) and anything you think that might be related (diet, sleep pattern, period, etc.).

... I'm so glad I finally have people to talk to and telling me they still live normal lives without someone always with them. That's the thing I was really looking for. Some assurance that things will be ok. This forum is really helping me cope with this. Thank you guys so much!

There is a decision to be made in balancing safety with freedom. I think most people with epilepsy tend to decide the pivot should be far to the end of the freedom spectrum. Caregivers and loved ones usually think the pivot should be further towards compromises for safety. There is no single correct answer for everyone.

I might offer that if the compromises for safety impact the quality of life too much, there is a risk of killing the spirit - existence without "living" if you get my meaning. I've come to accept that my wife has the right to engage in activities that might put herself at risk (herself only). It's her life after all.

...
I just want to know that she will not die.

No one can guarantee what the future holds. SUDEP is a real, though very small, risk. That said, I would encourage you not to live a life of fear. Carpe diem.
 
Thank you so much for answering all of my questions thoroughly. I now have a better understanding of what she is going through such as the grand mal/tonic colonic references. So glad that's cleared up.

I will keep a notebook in a central location for her and the rest of our family to write in. There are days that she doesn't feel quite right and sometimes feels like she has had a seizure and sometimes we think she did and she doesn't agree. Maybe we can find a pattern. I will also use the same notebook for questions for the doctors. This way everyone will be able to get their answers.

We went to Hershey Park yesterday and although she wasn't able to ride the roller coasters I did allow her to go on other roller coaster like rides. Ones that did not last long and loop around. She had a great time and finally opened up a little to me about her feelings about her seizures. I think she was just so angry that she wanted to pretend that she doesn't have epilepsy.

Hearing about your wife and the things she has gone through during her seizures and is still ok makes me feel better. I feel like I need to be there with her every second in case she has a seizure. If not then she will die. Well, that's how I used to feel until I joined this forum. I'm feeling better and less crazed now. We live in pretty nice neighborhood and I have let some of my neighbors know what is going on. This will make me feel better when she is out playing.

I feel like this forum is a life saver for me. I will be lurking around and reading everyone's posts. And soaking in all the information I can get. I may not be able to offer advice but I can be another "shoulder" for everyone to lean on during their tough times. :hugs:
 
Kelly

You would be surprised the amount of information and help you can give and thank you for the "shoulder".
 
I hope I can help someone. At least then I can feel useful. At the moment I feel pretty useless. I'm trying to wrap around my head the fact that there isnt anything I can do to physically to stop it.
 
Here is a suggestion, tell her she can go when she gets a little older. Don't be specific about any date. Just tell her that, because of the last major seizure incident, you are uncomfortable with her going on the ride. Her last seizure was probably from anger of not being able to go. Until she gets a better hold of her seizures i would not suggest a roller coaster ride. What if during the ride she gets one at the top, they can't just stop the roller coaster. Just be firm and eventually she will know it's out of love that you are not letting her go. I'm not doctor but that is my 2 cents worth. :)

I remember when i was young and my older brother got to go on a camping trip and i didn't because i was too young. Boy was i upset, but i realised in time my turn will come. Well it didn't, since we moved away but since then i'm a regular camper when i can find the friends to go with.
 
Dear "Over protective mom",
An over protective mother? That sounds a little to my ears like an overly comfortable cushion, an excessively loyal friend or too happy a life. I've met controlling mothers, uninvolved mothers and bad-a** mothers. What you're describing sounds like an example of one of creation's most wonderful and loveable creatures: A Mom.
Forgive me if I seem a little too judgemental.
Sincerely,
Mendelblot.
 
Kelly, what a coincidence! I am going through this very thing with my daughter. Saturday she had her second "fall down" seizure and the next day she wanted to go to the carnival in town?? I don't think so! She's acting like she knows what to do and "they only happen at night". I'm over here worrying my head off and she is acting like she has the common cold....I'm so new to all this as well. Maybe we should get together and compare notes!
 
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