Quite a Change

[jvdlance]

Hello Cint,

I really don’t know who to address, or where to go in my despair. I’m the boyfriend of what used to be a sweet, loving, 38 women with E, until her most recent seizure three weeks ago when she was admitted for two days in a hospital. There, she was administered Keppra intravenously. That 2nd day I noticed a huge personality change in her. Love, gone…sweetness, gone. She almost kicked me out of the room. Since then, she’s been taking 1000 mg daily (2 x 500), and no longer the person I fell in love with. I was suspicious about everything, and ready to call it quit, until I heard about Kepprages, and read some of your testimonies. We haven’t seen each other since then. She almost doesn’t answer my phone calls, and when she does, sooner or later her “devils take possession”; arrogant, vile, bitchy, snippy. Should I be patient and supportive? Should I call it quits? What should I expect from this situation? Please help someonr, I’m already feeling the emotional strain.

JVD

 

[Cint]

jvdlance,

I'm sorry to hear of your ordeal, but I do applaud you for looking for answers.
Keppra, as you've read, is a medication that does cause depression, irritation, etc. For some, taking vitamin B6 helps to eliminate some of the "rage". Do you know if she is taking any anti-depressant along with the Keppra? Do you know if her dr. is aware of the "rage" effect the Keppra is having on her? Depression does go along with epilepsy and it does sound like she is very depressed, the bitchiness, snippy, etc. are symptoms of depression, also. If she would allow you to visit with her and discuss these issues and discuss it together with the doc, maybe you could find some resolution. Maybe changing meds or finding other alternatives. Otherwise, you've done what you could.

 

[jvdlance]

Dear Cindy,

Thanks for your quick reply. It seems to me like she doesn’t realize what is happening to her, or why. I’ve read in some posts where the patients acknowledge their other selves, before/after Keppra, and how sorry they feel about the same rages. I brought her the issue once, and the answer was like “Problems, what problems. That’s me you know, nothing else. People change you know, because such is life.” We saw each other briefly after, and she was like “flirting” around, as if I wasn’t there, but I was…heartbroken. I know her for about 22 years, and I experienced her seizures back then. She was in Tegretol, and had the same rages. We were back together 5 months ago, and couldn’t be happier with each other until… Keppra? I really love this woman. Your comment: “Otherwise, you've done what you could” sounds like a dead-end.

Heartbroken. JVD

 

[Nakamova]

JVD -- Maybe you could print out some of the information about Keppra and personality changes for your girlfriends to read, or ask her to read some of the stuff people have written on epilepsy sites like this one. Sometimes if you're feeling cranky, it can be hard to hear anything without it feeling like criticism and getting defensive and even more cranky. It can be easier to hear from a neutral source like a doctor, or even the internet, or someone who isn't emotionally involved. Does she do therapy at all? Or any epilepsy support groups?

 

[jvdlance]

Nakamova,

Thank you. Your comment is very true to the human nature, and that’s how I fell she reacted, defensively aggressive with added scorn. This behavior took over her intelligence where she used to be tempered, and open-minded. How do I “infiltrate” this mind and help her to change back? I’m not willing to give up easily on her. I will fight whatever I need to, even her Keppra self, so she could be happy and herself again. What are my chances?

JVD

 

[epileric]

Welcome to the site jvdlance.

I used to be on keppra & had the same problem. I'm generally very mild-mannered but there are friends who don't want to talk to me since I was on that drug.

See if you can get her to try vitamine B6. It does help with some of the side-effects. Hopefully she will see the change in herself before causing too much harm like losing friends or her job.

Also I moved your messages into the foyer so you that more people might see your own thread & have more advice for you as well as welcome you here.

 

[jvdlance]

epileric,

Thank you very much. I need to make the right decisions by looking the whole picture, not by misconceptions. I’m really committed to her, she used to know it. I need to know where I stand, and what my chances are. People, please, I need to know from you. I need your feedback. Share your experiences, make suggestions. You are of great help.

JVD.

 

[RobinN]

My daughters personality changed dramatically while on anti seizure meds. She never was given Keppra, thank goodness. However, we had enough of the side effects to make me look for alternative therapies.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Seems like your hands are tied. Are there others in her life that she trusts for information? Perhaps you can share with them what you have found out. Going the backdoor route since she is closed minded while talking with you.

You are a good friend to brave this one out.

 

[jvdlance]

Hello RobinN,

Thank’s for your words, you got it right. As you may see, I’m trying to go through a backdoor due to her state of mind. Once I tried calling her doctor. His secretary reminded me that I was not authorized (HIPPA) to discuss that information. She too was surprised because I was the first person she could remember that told her about those side effects. Maybe I am the first who really cares (among them), and she is only a sec.
I’m more than a friend. Maybe “boyfriend” is not the best word to refer to the man to whom you will eventually get married (my predicament). English is my second language.

JVD

 

[RobinN]

wow... I would never have guessed that English is not your native language. Wish I could speak or write another language as well. Three years of French only prepared me to order in a restaurant ]

There have been times that my daughters behavior has been awful and I would like to have sent her packing. But as you know, when you love someone you put up with the bad days, since the good ones far out weigh the bad.

Maybe your GF will allow you to go to the doctors office with her. I would think if she is approached with some basic concerns, of changes that you have seen in her behavior, that she might let you discuss this with her doctor. Worth a try.

Rebecca just shared that when she was going through this she just needed someone that cared to be firm and tell her the way it was. I have to say I also had her seeing a therapist, which has been a lifeline for the two of us.

B-complex, Omega 3, magnesium, epsom salt baths, Vit D, all have been helpful in supporting brain and body health for Rebecca

 

[Bernard]

Hi JVD, welcome to the forum. :hello:

I'd suggest printing out this discussion thread and mailing a copy to her. (Note: Levetiracetam = Keppra)

 

[jvdlance]

Hello people,

Thanks for your interest. As you all could read about my ordeal, I just tried again, and again, and again to call my sweetheart, and there’s no answer. So far, connections attempts have been one way only. No answer though. I feel so empty hearted, and tired, that I’m afraid I could fall into depression myself. But no, I will fight this out…feel so tired though. Sorry my friends, I just needed to vent this out. God… give me strength, please help me.

 

[RobinN]

Yes, jvd... loss of a loved one can most definitely cause depression. Do you have a support system? She might need to go on the rollercoaster ride that many go on with this disorder, until she finds a balance. You might need to let her do this alone, as hard as it is. I agree with Bernard, print this discussion out, and send it to her. She will be able to get some clarity at some point and come back to you.

This all might be extreme depression on her part, and she might not want to burden you with this life changing disorder. You also might want to send her the great sweatshirt in the shop, here at CWE. I can say that it is a warm and soft SS. Maybe she will check out the site and we can help support her down the right path.

Another good gift is the book, Epilepsy: A New Approach. Reading, gaining knowledge, were all ways I found to remain strong, and my daughters advocate.

Take care of yourself.

 

[skillefer]

Hi jvd! Just caught up with this thread...do you know any of her family members? Can you give them the info you found out here and see if she'll take it if she thinks it's from them? Right now, it's not a matter of whether she loves you or not...it's a matter of getting her the information she needs.

 

[Meetz1064]

Oooooo

JVD, I wish you the best of luck. I do think that the advice that the others have given you is right on the money. Perhaps stepping back from her for a while might be a good idea, until things even out a little bit more...but keep in contact with her family or whomever lives with her.

 

[jvdlance]

Hi people,

Thanks to all of you I’m seeing a different picture now. At this moment, I realize that it's not a matter of whether she loves me or not, it's a matter of getting her the help she needs…the time she needs…the space she needs… all the support I may give her. If that means to step back for a while, for her good I will, keeping in contact somehow, even through backdoors...whatever. I'll try again to warn her about what she is experiencing, and why. I wish this ordeal would have a happy ending, but that only happens in fantasyland, right? Why her? Why me? I’ll keep in touch with you, posting from time to time, reading your suggestions on a regular basis. I encourage you to share your thoughts. Thanks again, you are my angels, my "support system"; I hope for her too, she deserves the best, not what’s happening right now.

JVD

 

[jvdlance]

Breaking News!!!Breaking News!!!

She just called me. Yes, yes, she actually called me…to tell me she wanted to finish our relationship. Wow, she just broke up with me. Her reason? To commit herself entirely to her son (yeah, right!). Talking about Kepprages… I swear she told me she was on 1000 mg (500 twice a day). I asked her again, and now she says its only 250 mg daily. Is that a sub-dose, or an entire lie? Now I have my questions answered. To expect that one day, out of Keppra, she would come back is to be a complete fool; not that it couldn’t happen, but the wait will get me sick.
I only wish her luck, and the best. Angry? Of course I am. I am raging mad, and I’m not on Keppra though, lol.
You’ve been very helpful, supportive, and made me feel among friends. Thank you very much. I wish you well. I hope to stay out of the blues because I know firsthand about severe major depression, and I don’t need to go down there, again. My ordeal has finished, it’s over now,

Take care,
JVD

 

[Meetz1064]

Hmmmm

well, 250 mg IS possible, but if she was taking 500 mg pills to begin with, she'd have to break them in half. (I had to when I had trouble with Keppra before, but that's another story, and we won't go there. It's a horrible story.)

I'm so sorry for you, jvd. Hopefully she'll see the light sometime soon, and come to her senses.

Good luck!!!

Meetz
:rock:

 

[jvdlance]

Hello Meetz,

Thanks for been so sympathetic. Horrible as it might be, I would like to know about your experiences using Keppra. Believe me when I tell you that I will understand every word. I’ve read some shocking stories already, and lived my ordeal as well. That’s what I’m looking for, information to help me understand. How was your family life? And your love life, relationships, or intimacy? Answer me only if you think it doesn’t upset your mind, you may be helping others with your story. These questions might be addressed also to anyone in the forum

Thanks all,

JVD

 

[Nakamova]

Hey jvd,

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship has been a casualty of the stresses of epilepsy and epilepsy meds. It sounds like for whatever reason your girlfriend is not able to commit to the relationship. I hope you can focus on taking care of yourself now and letting her find her way on her own. It's hard when you care deeply -- as you obviously do -- but that's what makes us human.

Peace,
Nakamova