Hi. I came across this forum while researching information, so I thought this might be the best place to ask. My husband was diagnosed with epilepsy as a child and outgrew his seizures, we never discussed it much. In Feb of 11' we separated, he was acting unlike himself, he was almost unrecognizable. For the next almost 18mos, we had almost no interaction. When we reconciled over the summer, it was the first time I learned he'd begun having seizures again. He has many of the symptoms I've read about after the seizures, but he also can become very detached and angry at me. He will yell at me for not doing enough for him, or not understanding enough. He also likes to say things he knows are hurtful and upsetting to me. His anger can last 30 min or 3 days. When it finally ends, he apologizes and tells me the seizure causes his brain to be off and he just has to ride it out. Unfortunately, they length of anger seems to be lasting longer, and I'm at his mercy until he's over it. Is this normal? Has anyone else dealt with this? I love this man, and would do about anything for him, but I'm struggling right now. Also, he is currently not on any meds, he's been off them about 2 months, but sees the dr next week about starting a new one. Thanks.
Seeking advice/info
- Thread starter nikanders
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nikanders,
Welcome to CWE. My Son 27 has E not me.
I do not know that Epilepsy itself is a cause of his anger, but maybe not having come to terms with his Epilepsy has made him angry or something else is going on?
You mention he is off meds for 2 months, was he like this when on the meds? I ask becasue some of the E meds seem to bring on/out anger.
BUT, he should not be taking this out on you and Epilepsy or not he should be told he needs to deal with his anger, no matter what it takes.
My Son sees a therapist, as well as taking his meds and using lots of safe alternatives. Therapist is a saving grace, he can and does vent and let it all rip when he needs to there and often comes back a much more relaxed dude
I am glad he will see a doc next week and hope you will go with him?
Welcome to CWE. My Son 27 has E not me.
I do not know that Epilepsy itself is a cause of his anger, but maybe not having come to terms with his Epilepsy has made him angry or something else is going on?
You mention he is off meds for 2 months, was he like this when on the meds? I ask becasue some of the E meds seem to bring on/out anger.
BUT, he should not be taking this out on you and Epilepsy or not he should be told he needs to deal with his anger, no matter what it takes.
My Son sees a therapist, as well as taking his meds and using lots of safe alternatives. Therapist is a saving grace, he can and does vent and let it all rip when he needs to there and often comes back a much more relaxed dude
I am glad he will see a doc next week and hope you will go with him?
:agree:nikanders,
Welcome to CWE. My Son 27 has E not me.
I do not know that Epilepsy itself is a cause of his anger, but maybe not having come to terms with his Epilepsy has made him angry or something else is going on?
You mention he is off meds for 2 months, was he like this when on the meds? I ask becasue some of the E meds seem to bring on/out anger.
BUT, he should not be taking this out on you and Epilepsy or not he should be told he needs to deal with his anger, no matter what it takes.
My Son sees a therapist, as well as taking his meds and using lots of safe alternatives. Therapist is a saving grace, he can and does vent and let it all rip when he needs to there and often comes back a much more relaxed dude
I am glad he will see a doc next week and hope you will go with him?
I agree completely....
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Stress is a HUGE seizure trigger for me. I don't know why the two of you seprated but I'm sure it was stressful for him and that could have brought on the seizures.
During one seizure I had I told my husband off. I didn't know what I was saying when I did it or why, I never know anything I do during a seizure, but my husband knew that so he didn't get angry. Half the time when I come out of a seizure I don't even know who he is and it might take me a good 10 or 15 minutes (sometimes longer) to figure it out.
I'm on keppra and it's a seizure medicine that makes you angry about things. I'm on it and I've gone off on alot of people for things that they've done and it doesn't take too much to make me do it. I been doing it for a long time and I've managed to hold it in sometimes but alot of times it just doesn't work.
I don't know how much you know about epilepsy but try to learn as much as you can and it might help. When my husband and I met I had been diagnosed with epilepsy only a year before hand so both of us sort of learned together what I was going through. He always goes to the neurologist appointments with me and tells the neurologist what's going on and asks questions himself. By doing this it helps him understand a good bit better about what I'm going through, not 100%, but he knows more about what I'm doing during a seizure and the side effects that the medicines have on me.
As Chaz1 said maybe he could try seeing a therapist or maybe the two of you could go to some sort of counsling together.
During one seizure I had I told my husband off. I didn't know what I was saying when I did it or why, I never know anything I do during a seizure, but my husband knew that so he didn't get angry. Half the time when I come out of a seizure I don't even know who he is and it might take me a good 10 or 15 minutes (sometimes longer) to figure it out.
I'm on keppra and it's a seizure medicine that makes you angry about things. I'm on it and I've gone off on alot of people for things that they've done and it doesn't take too much to make me do it. I been doing it for a long time and I've managed to hold it in sometimes but alot of times it just doesn't work.
I don't know how much you know about epilepsy but try to learn as much as you can and it might help. When my husband and I met I had been diagnosed with epilepsy only a year before hand so both of us sort of learned together what I was going through. He always goes to the neurologist appointments with me and tells the neurologist what's going on and asks questions himself. By doing this it helps him understand a good bit better about what I'm going through, not 100%, but he knows more about what I'm doing during a seizure and the side effects that the medicines have on me.
As Chaz1 said maybe he could try seeing a therapist or maybe the two of you could go to some sort of counsling together.
DadofTwins
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Welcome!
You have found a wonderful community with caring members.
Good luck on your journey.
Tom
You have found a wonderful community with caring members.
Good luck on your journey.
Tom