I am a healthy 21 year old male. I have had several very intense seizure experiences that sound very similar to the effects of TLE (Temporal Lobe Epilepsy). There have been at least three incidences of serious head trauma in my childhood that could have caused this activity, one of which happened when I was an infant, resulting in a concussion.
Since I can remember I have expressed many of the traits of the temporal lobe epilepsy personality, such as slight hyposexuality, easily aggressive and angered, strong sense of personal destiny, slight paranoia, a hard time adjusting to social cues, difficulty choosing words, and extreme religiosity and spirituality. The interest in religion is the most pronounced, and has led me to spend thousands of hours studying different religions, practicing meditation, and obsessing over the philosophical aspects of existence. I can even remember in kindergarten, consantly wondering if existence is real, if "I" am this body or some other essence, if reality is just a dream or not, etc...
When I was a young child, I would experience out of body experiences every night. At least every coupld of weeks, I would have events in which my consciousness was "enhanced," so to speak - for up to 15 minutes at a time, my mind would quiet and my senses would be incredibly acute. This still occurs at least weekly. I have since read that these can be auras or even small seizures.
When I was 16, I experienced an event which is very similar to the classic spiritual seizures of TLE. Suddenly, I had one of these moments in which my perception was enhanced, but this time by a thousandfold - I lost consciousness of the limits of my physical body and experienced a feeling of nirvana. This lasted about 25-30 minutes. About 11 months later, the same thing occured - a feeling of nirvana that lasted this time about an hour, brought on by a feeling of intense anger.
About a year later, at the age of 18, I experienced the most frightening and intense of these seizures yet. Up until this point, I had no idea that I might be epileptic. I thought I was just very spiritual or something. I was meditating, and as soon as I got up and opened my eyes I felt my body start to shake. The next 75 minutes or so, my body was caught in uncontrollable tremors. At times I could get up and walk a few steps at a time across the house, but after that I would have to lie down again and experience the convulsions. The left side of my face was contorting and I could not control it, as well as my arms. The entire time, I literally felt as if a giant hand, perhaps the hand of God, was reaching down and shaking my head. It was an intensly beautiful experience and a terrifying one at the same time. The spiritual aspect of this event brought great bliss and understanding, but the convulsions of my body were scarier than the benefits of a spiritual experience.
The other thing I must note is that I began smoking marijuana daily soon after the second "nirvana-type" seizure (that happened when I was 17). I didn't know why, but I just felt an urge to do so. When the event described in the above paragraph occurred (when I was 18 years old), I was taking a break from smoking marijuana for the first time since the previous event. The first thing I did as soon as I could, when this seizure was occurring, was to smoke marijuana, and this finally brought the tremors down. Since that day, about 3 years ago, I have smoked marijuana daily, in small amounts 1-2 times a day. I know that marijuana contains at least 6 anticonvulsant chemicals, and that many people use it to treat epilepsy. While it may not be the best treatment, I think it is noteworthy that whenever I have been using marijuana, I have experienced no seizure activity. The most I experience is that, every week or two, I experience the aformentioned state of enhanced perception for 5-30 minutes at a time.
I know this has been an intricate and very long discussion of my seizure activity. But I really want to know, should I go get myself tested for epilepsy? Is it possible that I was having seizures but am not epileptic? Also, is there a possibility that I am simply a very spiritual person and not epileptic?
Since I can remember I have expressed many of the traits of the temporal lobe epilepsy personality, such as slight hyposexuality, easily aggressive and angered, strong sense of personal destiny, slight paranoia, a hard time adjusting to social cues, difficulty choosing words, and extreme religiosity and spirituality. The interest in religion is the most pronounced, and has led me to spend thousands of hours studying different religions, practicing meditation, and obsessing over the philosophical aspects of existence. I can even remember in kindergarten, consantly wondering if existence is real, if "I" am this body or some other essence, if reality is just a dream or not, etc...
When I was a young child, I would experience out of body experiences every night. At least every coupld of weeks, I would have events in which my consciousness was "enhanced," so to speak - for up to 15 minutes at a time, my mind would quiet and my senses would be incredibly acute. This still occurs at least weekly. I have since read that these can be auras or even small seizures.
When I was 16, I experienced an event which is very similar to the classic spiritual seizures of TLE. Suddenly, I had one of these moments in which my perception was enhanced, but this time by a thousandfold - I lost consciousness of the limits of my physical body and experienced a feeling of nirvana. This lasted about 25-30 minutes. About 11 months later, the same thing occured - a feeling of nirvana that lasted this time about an hour, brought on by a feeling of intense anger.
About a year later, at the age of 18, I experienced the most frightening and intense of these seizures yet. Up until this point, I had no idea that I might be epileptic. I thought I was just very spiritual or something. I was meditating, and as soon as I got up and opened my eyes I felt my body start to shake. The next 75 minutes or so, my body was caught in uncontrollable tremors. At times I could get up and walk a few steps at a time across the house, but after that I would have to lie down again and experience the convulsions. The left side of my face was contorting and I could not control it, as well as my arms. The entire time, I literally felt as if a giant hand, perhaps the hand of God, was reaching down and shaking my head. It was an intensly beautiful experience and a terrifying one at the same time. The spiritual aspect of this event brought great bliss and understanding, but the convulsions of my body were scarier than the benefits of a spiritual experience.
The other thing I must note is that I began smoking marijuana daily soon after the second "nirvana-type" seizure (that happened when I was 17). I didn't know why, but I just felt an urge to do so. When the event described in the above paragraph occurred (when I was 18 years old), I was taking a break from smoking marijuana for the first time since the previous event. The first thing I did as soon as I could, when this seizure was occurring, was to smoke marijuana, and this finally brought the tremors down. Since that day, about 3 years ago, I have smoked marijuana daily, in small amounts 1-2 times a day. I know that marijuana contains at least 6 anticonvulsant chemicals, and that many people use it to treat epilepsy. While it may not be the best treatment, I think it is noteworthy that whenever I have been using marijuana, I have experienced no seizure activity. The most I experience is that, every week or two, I experience the aformentioned state of enhanced perception for 5-30 minutes at a time.
I know this has been an intricate and very long discussion of my seizure activity. But I really want to know, should I go get myself tested for epilepsy? Is it possible that I was having seizures but am not epileptic? Also, is there a possibility that I am simply a very spiritual person and not epileptic?
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