So confused.....please help!

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Confused one

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Hi ;
I am not sure if i have epilepsy or not. About 2 months ago, i had an EPISODE where i felt as if i was in a hypnotic state. I have been going to see my massage therapist for the last 7 years off and on. This FEELING has only happened to me 2 times now and it seems like it is a pattern. Usually i get my massage therapist to work on my back problems and occasionally on my arms. It seems that when she works on my arms, that is when this feeling comes over me. (Deja Vu). I am lying there and she is massaging my arm and she asks me if she can work on the other arm. I say yes and then when she starts working on my other arm, that's when things GET WEIRD. The memory of her asking me if she could work on my other arm (trickled into my brain-but it wasn't on a real conscious level and the feeling that something was about to happen was also present). THE DISTORTION and the feeling of drifting away happens then and i hear a voice suggest to me to RELAX. THIS time, I actually took the advice of what the voice was suggesting i do, and i felt myself drift in and out of consciousness as well as hearing myself make sexual noises. I also remember feeling like i was partially detached from my body-- i could see myself , and hear myself talk, but i didn't know whether i really was doing those things. I couldn't feel my mouth move or anything. Then i remember that near the end of it, i was trying to rationalize why this was happening to me . I was saying things like, it's not this, and it;s not this, and so on. Then when i stopped rationalizing , about 20 seconds later, i heard my massage therapist talk to me. She commented that the arm that she was working on wasn't as bad as the other arm. I disagreed with her and told her that it was behaving similar to the one that was in pain. She commented that yes, but it doesn't hurt like the other one does. I agreed with her and everything seemed to be normal again. Only it felt , when she was talking to me that i was coming down from a HIGH. Like i had been taking Codene. My head felt strange for a few seconds. Anyways, I don't know if this EPISODE actually HAPPENED or if it is something that my brain has made up. All i know is, about 2 weeks later, after my massage appointment with her, THAT IS WHEN IT FELT LIKE THIS HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND I COULD REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL ABOUT IT. I don't know if this is a RE-PRESSED MEMORY and it actually happened or if my imagination has been working over time. I am EXTREMELY SCARED to ask her if ANYTHING HAPPENED in the past because i am so HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED that this might have happened. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! It was 2 months ago that this happened and it is still HAUNTING me. It felt so REAL.
Does ANYONE know if this is an Epileptic Seizure that happened to me? I need peoples advice .....please. Thanks for taking time to read!
 
Hi Confused one, welcome to CWE!

Don't feel humiliated or ashamed! I recommend that you go ahead and ask the massage therapist if anything unusual happened at the prior session. You don't have to go into details, just say that you had a strange dream about it that seemed very real, so you wanted to talk about to see if it might help clear things up. You may or may not get the info you need from the therapist, but it's much better to ask than to torture yourself with not knowing.

It's indeed possible that you experienced an episode of deja vu. Many people do so without it being seizure-related though, so it's tough to say if yours is a form of epilepsy. (If it is, it would be something called a "Simple Partial" seizure). Do you have any other health issues? Do you get dizzy when you stand up suddenly? Blood pressure issues can sometimes play a role, especially when the arms are extended above the head. It's also very easy to get dehydrated during a massage session, which could be a factor. (A friend of mine who's a massage therapist always recommends that her clients drink a lot of water afterwards).

Have you discussed what happened (or what may have happened) with a friend or family member? It can help to talk about it with someone, just to get a handle on things, and cope with the anxiety it's causing you. It can also help to write down what you remember happening, including the particular circumstances in the days or even weeks prior to the massage, as well as the aftermath. And if you feel too uncomfortable to see the same massage therapist again, find another that you can see instead.

Best,
Nakamova
 
Thanks Nakamova for your response. Yes i have talked with a family member and a friend about this. They both suggest i talk about it with her. I JUST DON'T KNOW how to bring up the subject. Anyways, my blood pressure is on the low side, and is still in the normal range-- but not life threatening and i don't need medication. I did write down everything that i could remember from my experience. The weird thing about this whole senerio is that i think that my last session with my massage therapist went normal. Yet, like i said i was laying there and bits and pieces of this memory trickled into my head as she was massaging my arm. I am thinking that this might have happened before this last session. It was like a computer in a way. The screen shows one thing , yet other things are going on behind what is in front of what you are seeing. (if that makes sense). All i know is....yes Deja Vu did happen with this whole episode but only to a degree. The GIVING IN to the voice to relax and hearing myself and feeling de-tached from my body was ALL NEW this time. As for writing down what happened before my last massage appointment, i don't remember. It was over 2 months ago. Thanks for the info tho. Hopefully i will get up the courage to have a chat with her. My arm is still bothering me to some degree (even with taking anti-inflammatories), so sooner or later i am still going to need treatment on it again. I guess it is going to have to depend on what she tells me whether or not i will go back to see her again.
 
I would be careful if you are on some medication's, read the side effects I had a Grand Mal 2.5 years ago at 48 years of age from medication. I had never had one and have not had another. But I had this memory thing after it happened that was strange and what it was after my seizure my shoulders were killing me for a week, then it just came back to me about 2 weeks after the seizure I remembered the police and emt guys trying to hold me down and I was fighting them and hurt my shoulders, they were there in like 5 minutes. I think that if they would not have tried to hold me down everything would have been ok, I woke up in the ambulance and I was trying to get out, thats when they held me down then I went out again and can barely remember the ride I just remember the sirens and I was going in and out of consciousness. But it took a few weeks for it to come back to me about the hole thing. I guess the thing that bothered me more than anything after my diagnosis was I did not have a warning some people do some don't. I hope this helps, if you have any questions about my experience feel free to ask. David
 
Thanks David for your input and story. I am going to try and get up the courage to call her tomorrow. Wish me luck. Hopefully , it is all in my imagination and it isn't what i am fearing. Anyways, thanks again for your input. :)
 
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
 
Just an update:
I actually called my massage therapist and asked her if i showed any of the following symptoms of a seizure--- staring, jerky movements, facial ticks, making unusual noises , etc. She said that she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary because she was busy concentrating on what she was doing at the time. So....i still am not sure. So, i made a doctors appointment to see if he can give me some useful info and possibly send me for tests if he feels it is serious enough. It could just be where i HYPNOTISED myself as i was laying there. I don't know. All i have to say is...that this EPISODE has really done a number on my head. So, hopefully i will get a logical explanation that makes sense.
 
I'm glad you were able to talk to the massage therapist, and that she could put your mind at ease a bit. It sounds like if you were really moving around or making noises she would have noticed, so that's one thing you don't have to worry about that. I hope you feel okay from now on out!
 
Yes i do feel better that she didn't see or hear anything unusual coming from me. I keep thinking that maybe because i was so relaxed, that i hypnotised myself and this whole thing is something that my mind made up....??? I don't know . I DO NOT SEE HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN THAT MY MIND COULD FABRICATE THIS WHOLE THING IN A SEIZURE WAY THO. I didn''t even occur to me that this could be a seizure related thing until i was talking with another massage therapist. AND....HOW WOULD MY MIND KNOW WHAT THE SYMPTOMS are for a seizure. IT doesn't make sense to me. I had no idea until i started reading up on seizures. So.......it is a relief that NOTHING happened outwardly , however, it doesn't explain if this was a seizure. So , that is why i made a doctors appointment, to just make sense of this...hopefully anyways.....lol.
 
Hi everyone,
Just an update. My doctor booked me for an EEG and I went to it today. I was hooked up to a lot of wires and the woman did the testing and at the end of it there were a lot of flashing lights that i had to lay through with my eyes closed. The back of my head felt heavy after it was all over. Like my brain was really heavy and i felt tired. IS IT NORMAL TO FEEL TIRED AFTERWARDS ? I actually had to lay down and have a short nap when i got home.
Anyways, now i wait until July 9th to find out the results. I suppose, tho is if there was something serious going on, she would of told me right away..?
 
Confused.

My daughter felt the same way afterwards. She was on a video EEG for 66 hours. Glad you are able to address you concerns. As you know, there are many friendly and compassionate people on CWE. Please do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. You are among friends.

TOm
 
It's normal to feel a bit tired after the EEG -- it's a bit of an assault on your system, and you probably felt stressed before and during it too. Did they make you hyperventilate during part of it? That can also be a strain.

The EEG tech might or might not have said if anything showed up. Ordinarily, it's the job of the neurologist to interpret the EEG -- there can be a lot of different variables to consider -- and it would be out of line for the tech to say anything one way or another.

Still, I think you should relax and not worry about the results. July 9th will be here before you know it!
 
Hi Nakamova;
Yes they got me to hyperventilate. And yes, July 9th will be here very soon. I will try not to think about it. More than likely, this whole thing is not that serious and possibly just a dream....at least that's what most people including my mother seems to think. Anyways, thanks for responding!
 
Hi again;
Just an update. I got my results of my EEG and everything was NORMAL! Yay! The doctor is sending me to see the Neurologist, to see if anything is going on with my nervous system. So hopefully that will be good too. My doctor did however say, that the spell that happened to me might have been a FAINTING spell. ?? In someways, i can see how the conclusion might be that. But , in other ways i cannot. Wouldn't i know if i was getting light headed and passed out? Maybe the experience is different when you lie down? I don't know? The weird noises that i was making, DOES remind me of hyperventilating. But why wouldn't i know that i was and put things together in my head? Very weird?? Anyways, I think Nakamova is right. Maybe, i was dehydrated at the time which made my blood pressure go down and i lost consciousness. I asked my massage therapist if she had heard or seen anything unusual coming from me and she said she didn't see anything out of the ordinary and she was busy working on my arms. So , I am still in the dark about this whole thing. However, if the results come back from the Neurologist and they are normal, then i will just let this whole issue go. That's all i can do. If anyone reading this knows anything that may help help me, feel free to voice your opinion. THANKS!
 
I hope you continue to get a clean bill of health, and that the strange episode was a one-off. Have you basically felt okay since?
 
Hi Nakamova;
Yes i have felt normal since. It did take me a long time( a good month and a half)--emotionally, to get over this whole thing. I was sooo scared and embarrased that my massage therapist could hear everything that i was doing. Thank goodness she didn't! Anyways, now it is just a faint memory. I wrote everything down after that experience and kept it . So , when i go to see the Neurologist , it can help me to recall all the fine details that i might miss if i just think back on it. Thanks for caring! There is still things about this experience that i just can't shake. Like, if i did pass out, why wouldn't my massage therapist know?? And then tell me what was going on after i came to? That's the part that i can't figure out how the doctor has come to that as being a possible conclusion? Anyways, i guess there are things that you just can put a finger on...lol. Anyways, thanks again!
 
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