Stress and Seizures, RE: Divorce of Parents

[momof3boys]

Well, yesterday my mother went down to file for a divorce. She had done this back in 2009 too, and didnt go through with it because she was afraid of where she would be after it went through. But after three years, my parents marriage has just gotten worse.

My father has MAJOR issues. He has made such rude and harsh comments to my mother about her physical appearance, and her family. He has lied to me, and I cant trust my own father now.

Last night after he was given the papers, I found out he was telling my mother that he was blaming me and my aunt for telling my mother to go file for the divorce. I had to get ahold of him, and let him know that no one made her do this. This was her decision. It was during that phone call that he lied more to me. He admited that when I phoned my mom, he would listen in on our conversations. I asked him why he would come to me years ago and tell me he wasnt happy with their marriage, but when it was told to my mom about this talk, he denied it all, and said, "You know Kristin, she can exagerate things, and with her seizures, you know she cant understand things right". Its that comment that hurt me the most. Just because I have seizures, does not mean that I dont understand what the hell he told me. Then when I brought up why he would lie to me and to my mother about denying he ever had that conversation with me, he then told me that was a lie, and he did tell my mom that night after he told me his feelings. Its all lies.

There is so much more to this, but I dont want to write a novel about it.

I have two sisters who are on "his side". They are against my mother, and believe that I am on her side. But like Ive told everyone for months now, Im not going to choose anyone's side. I have my own life, and I wasnt there to witness the fights that occured between the four of them. (parents and sisters) I was up all night stressing over all of this. I found out my father called my younger sister who is living on her own with her kids, to find out that they both were saying crap about me. Calling me selfish, and how bad of a person I am because they think Im choosing my mother's side. I swear I dont know how many more times I have to tell everyone, Im on NO ONE's side! :soap:

Anyways, I didnt have a good night at all. Woke up feeling tired and drained. got the kids to school, and had to bring the youngest kid home with me because he was having tummy issues this morning. I was looking forward to spending the day relaxing after a night of practically no sleep. At least my husband is home for the next four days. Im surely taking advantage of sleeping in tomorrow!

Sorry for the rant..... I just had to get it off my chest.

 

[Fedup]

momof3boys

Rant all you want. I am just sorry for what you are going through, it must be horriable. There seems to be problems in familes no matter where you are from. You are right though, never take sides.

 

[momof3boys]

Thank you. Ive tried my best to be on good terms with my family. My mother is the only person who I have trusted, and has been there for me my entire life. When I was talking with my father last night, he said it bothered him that when I call their home, I ask for my mother. He said he didnt know why I wouldnt want to ask for him. I had to explain to him that when I was little, and growing up, it wasnt him that was there, it was our mom. She was there for me to help me deal with the seizures, my school work, teenager problems, and all the other stuff life can bring up. My father, he worked, and after work went on to play golf with his buddies, drank at the bars, and I recall having my parents have many arguments when I was young. When I was in third grade, I remember it was really bad, and I had to take my younger sister and cuddle with her in my bed to tell her it was ok, while our parents were fighting. I dont recall my father ever wanting to spend anytime with me, or call me just to say hi. It was always my mom. The things he said to me just hurt me so much last night. After all these years, I so badly wanted to ask him these things and i never could find the right time to do it. But finally got the answers. Its too bad that the outcome I was hoping for, wasnt what I got. But I have to pick myself up and tell myself to be strong. It not for me, do it for my family... my kids. They need me, and I need to be strong for them.

Im just praying this divorce stuff goes by quickly.... but my gut is telling me Its going to be a bumpy road....

 

[rich956]

Hugz
Kristin sorry you have to endure this but your doing the right
thing by being neutral.Youve got enough on your plate already.
Also,at least they are all adults now. Wish my parents divorced
but not a chance of that.There in a better place now though.:agree:
Hang in there were all here for you.

 

[momof3boys]

Thank you. I've got alot to think about, in regards to my relationships with my father and sisters. Im going to take it day by day though.

 

[jyearta]

momof3boys,

I sorry you are yet again going through another stressful situation. I know this situation hurts more than what you went through with your husband boss.

You are doing the smart thing, NOT taking sides.

Go ahead rant, scream, hit a pillow.

 

[momof3boys]

Thanks. I feel like I want to climb a moutain and scream outloud til my voice is gone!

 

[jyearta]

Go Ahead and scream LOUD...:bigmouth:

 

[momof3boys]

If there was a picture of a moutain, Id insert it here!


:bigmouth::bigmouth::bigmouth::bigmouth::bigmouth::bigmouth:

 

[CQ:)]

Kristin,

So sorry you are going through this.
As jyearta said SCREAM AWAY.