Trying for college/ Problems with Math

[AndrewIrish]

Hey all,

I'm trying to get into a community college near me, yet I've hit a huge problem. I've only done the application and sent my transcripts - next step for me to do is a COMPASS test. I'm being mentored by my Aunt whom is a professor at the college(We're not very close, though - she is wonderful, by the way.)

I'm 22, now. Taken my time in trying to get to college, I suppose. Problem I have and I talked with her about it - my big trigger is calculation/strategy. When I was in my younger teens - I was practically off the chart, nearly genius levels, in everything. Latter and most of High School though, I could NEVER get past eveb BASIC Algebra. It's my trigger. I can't do it, it brings on my jerks and eventually TC's.

I'm scared, here.

I finally tonight, looked at a practice compass test. Damn near 80% of it is based on Algebra/Mathematics. I'm not saying I'm stupid - let me take it VERY slow, very offhand and I'll get the right answer - in the degree and time a college wants - I'd have to basically say, 'I can't do it.'

My anut mentione that she works with 'special needs' students and could pribably get me another '30 minutes' for the test, if I went through her(She said Epilepy qualifies...) yet, I feel like I'm destroyed. I just can't do it. I go into these caulculations and my mind goes berserk. Always has - it's the reason why almost 7 years ago, I never even GOT past Basic Algebra.

I don't know what to do.

Grammar, History, Art, Science - nearly anything else, I will be and have tested EXTRAORDINARILY at. Yet, when it comes to truly, almost anything concerning NUMBERS - it's my trigger.

Looking at the COMPASS Test(The Bar to which your ability is tested.... as far as intellect is concerned...) I feel as if I'm a moron. For the first time in my life - I feel truly disabled. I'm scared, I feel stupid and I don't know what to do. I can do this test, if given many, many hours. That's not going to happen.

I don't know what to do, here.

I'm a smart man, I pride myself on that. With this though, it makes me question going to college at all, though. If simple numbers are all they want, why bother?

I'm so trapped, right now. Don't know what to do. I need this epilepsy to go away, I need to be able to concentrate, I need to have my mind back...

... what do I do? More time on a test won't do me anything? I'll be made to look like an absolutely mentally retarded person(Whom such peoples I have nothing against, only slight-hearted sympathy and hope...) yet it's not whom I am.

Has ANYBODY ever gone through something like this? Any advice, opinions?

It's such a strange thing but I feel as if I'm truly... marked for something other then college - as if my brain won't allow me to show my true potential.

Don't know what to do. It's the reason I can't play Chess. I can't play 'move the truck' - anything visual and I can't do it. Anything textual I can't do it. Anything that requires me to THINK and I can't do it.

I'm so pissed off - at myself. I can get through these roadblocks, I have the mind for it, I can be an important person, I can contribute to the world - yet even the most basic of introductory of tests, I'm done for.

Don't know what to do - don't know how to handle this. Medical and social community don't accept this, so I feel just... pre-judged, somehow, if that's even a correct concentration of word usage.

I've been a writer, a poet, a psychologist and a theorist all my lfie, yet it seems as if basic, non-essential calculation is going to be my undoing.

I know that COMPASS test is just for an evaluation of learning - they may insist I do a remedial course in math/Algebra/WHAT HAVE YOU... yet I don't feel I'll ever pass.

Honesty out these, the epilepsy has messed with me so much and continues to do so to this day, I gave up numbers many years ago, beyond basic cunputation and arithmetic(to this day, which I'm unmatchable in...)

I feel lost - any ideas? Anyway to forgo this or am I just screwed in today's math-absorbed technological machine?

Should I just give up dreams of college? I won't do it at half-stand - I want to be someone great and give something great back to the world. I just don't feel capable...

 

[Nakamova]

Well, you know Einstein failed math and still managed to make it pretty far.

Regarding the short-term issue -- passing the Compass test, and going on to college -- is there any way the college will make an exception, or is the Compass test a dealbreaker? You might want to talk to a college guidance counselor for advice, or try contacting the admissions office at the College to see if there are any alternatives.

Don't feel "like a moron" if you need extra time, or a way into college that bypasses the math requirements, or even if you bypass college altogether. You KNOW you're not a moron, and as you've said, your ultimate goal is being able to give something back to the world, not acing an algebra test.

For the long-term, have you looked into neurofeedback? If that's an option for you, it could potentially re-train your brain so that computational activity is no longer a trigger. The brain is very plastic, and it's amazing what it can be rewired to achieve.

 

[C0urt]

break things to the smallest possible. I have problems looking at big numbers now. it feels like my eyes just unfocus. It can be a trigger for me when I am understress still. but i found, the more i did it. the less like it was to trigger me.
I just had to keep doing it. there are still times when i just cant. I have to walk away and comeback.


try not to let it bother you to much. your brain needs to reaarange it's self. it will funny to have to do things slowly. but take your time, and you can do it.


I also played tetris for a long time at first to. i couldnt at first, and I found when i get closer to my seizure threshold I make a lot more poor spatial choices with tetris, it sounds like a small thing. but it makes sense to me. when I feel good I play awesomely.

 

[Meetz1064]

If you

can't get any help from the guidance counselor, and/or the special needs department (and YES, you WILL need to talk to them), then you really need to consider the neurofeedback option that Nakamova brought up to try to retrain your brain so that it doesn't rekindle so much. Perhaps then your triggers won't be quite so bad, and you can actually do the math that you need to do then...

 

[AndrewIrish]

Thank you

I appreciate your responses guys.

A question about the Neuro-feedback, though.

I'm finally working alongside my family to get me treatment through a clinic at a nearby college hospital - for the epilepsy, of course.

I haven't even been to a first appointment or anything yet - have to call onn a Monday at like exactly 8 A.M., wierd rules and actions needed to get in they're so packed--- last time I went, all the doctor gave me was an MRI... then he basically ignored me and never got back to me....i tried contacting him, be assured of that.)

Is there a way... to like, sort of... I don't know... no, there's not.

Until I get my medical situation sorted, is there like some poor man's neuro-feedback I can do? (Obviously I'm not going to hook myself up to a car battery or anytihng, lol... )

My only option is to walk away when I get into calculation. I've tried self hypnosis, breathing techniques, chakra centers, holistic medicine.... it's kept TC's to an absolutely managable level but not the jerks or other impediments.

Are myoclonic jerks supposed to be this bad? Many, many times a day, always brought on by calculation or strategy...? More and more I look at it and experience it, the more I getscared. What's this progressive myoclonus I've heard talked about? Is that related?

I go off on so many different spiraling questions on this forum which should rightfully be answered by medically trained professionals, I know... just during this time I don't have it... you guys are a godsend. Nobody else in my life, really... understands what I go through. My family acts as if I'm not on the ground seizing uncontrollably, I'm completely fine... which is disutrbing. I'm impacted in so many other detrimental ways.

You guys help.

Any advice on how to first approach a doctor about getting neurofeedback or any other advice or recipes or prayers or anything is appreciated.,

All of you whom have responded are wonderfully thanked. You let me know someone out there knows what's going on. How even if it's not widely accepted, sometimes epilepy can be horribly obtrusive to a normal life in even the not so obvious ways.

Thank you and any other comments, advice, opinions 0 let 'em rip. I appreciuate every single one. I've already started megnesium tablets and while am not really getting any benefit now at the moment, you guys here have started me doing something proactive towards my ailment.

God bless this forum and all of you.

 

[Nakamova]

Hi Andrew --

Neurofeedback is a re-training of the brain sort of in a video game style, but there are other ways to re-wire the brain. Meditation is one, as is learning a new skill. Without the EEG monitoring (sometimes even with it) it's hard to know what parts of the brain are responding to a given task, but with that caveat in mind here are some suggestions for what you might try at home. (And, of course, if anything seems to trigger seizures, don't do it).

1. Music. There's a set of CDs called the Delta Sleep System, with music designed to elicit the "good" Delta brainwaves. They are usually used at night as you're going to sleep, but you could also use them to try and calm your brain before tackling a problem. There are also other kinds of music that are supposed to be good for different brain functions: There's a set of 3 Mozart CDs designed to tune the brain in different ways. Take this kind of thing with a grain of salt, since everyone responds differently to different music, but if there are particular sounds that help you concentrate better, make a tape to play in the background while you are tackling a math problem to see if it helps.

2. Exercises for the Brain. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Or ambidextrous? It sounds like your right brain is dominant, and your left brain is the one that gets stuck and seizes. Since the left brain controls the right side of the body, try activities that will develop the right side of the body -- with the intent of developing non-seizure neural pathways for the left brain to engage in. So for instance you could lift weights with your right side, or writing numbers/drawing with your right hand, or listening to music in the right ear only. Try playing the piano with only the right hand, or playing guitar (which uses both hands independently) or trying to play the guitar "backwards". Count to 100 by tapping the fingers on your right hand. You get the idea.

3. Small Bites: As C0urt says above, break things down into small bites: Start with a simple number problem. Close your eyes and picture the numbers. Try solving it in your head, but stop if you feel anxious, and take a break. When you feel ready, tackle the problem one more time, breathing deeply, going slowly, seeing how far you can get. If you feel like you are making progress, tackle a simple geometry problem or an algebra problem from a sample test. Just one at a time (until you feel comfortable doing more than one), and then take a break in between to clear the brain. Experiment with having music in the background or with humming. Try copying the problem onto a large sheet of blank paper, drawing or writing as large as possible. Avoid looking at a computer monitor.

I hope these suggestions help. In general, rewiring the brain takes time, so results won't be instant. Be persistent, and pay attention to what works and what doesn't.

Best,
Nakamova

 

[Billyboyboo]

I am somewhat the same way with Calculus, as I use to be very good at it, well, I still am, but it triggers jerks. What is it with numbers and functions?

Billy.

 

[skillefer]

My suggestion, would be to see what the disabled student services center at the college can offer you. If you've had an IEP in the past, or even if you haven't but can show medical reason for the designation Other Health Impaired. And your Neuro will write you a letter confirming that Mathematics is a trigger for you...you may be able to be excused from the math segment of the test.

 

[skillefer]

And don't feel like you have to give up college! Many of us have managed to go through and get degrees..if not multiple or grad. degrees. It might take us a bit longer..but it's doable.

But definitely talk to the Students with Special Needs Services Center. They can help you out with your other classes you'll be taking too...things like getting photocopies of your prof's notes..having a note taker...getting extra times on exams...etc...

As for why math would be a trigger...I don't know...But mention it to the Neuro. It might be that your seizures are beginning in that segment of the brain that deals with math.