Well the 28th is going to be tough

[SoonToBeMommy]

My grandpa passed away December 28th, 2011. In only an hour and a half he will be the 28th and he passed early in the morning. I miss him very much. We were very close and I could talk to him about anything. I still talk to him even though he can't hear me. Probably gonna be pretty depressed all day. I was last year. Hoping it won't affect me seizure wise. I can't believe its already been almost 2 years and the sadness is already setting in. He passed away so fast. Shortley after Thanksgiving we found out he had stomach cancer. A few weeks later he was to have surgery. He did, but he had RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and the medicine he took for the pain made his immune system really weak. He ended up getting an infection and about a week after his surgery he was put in Hospice. He died a few hours later. I watched him die right in front of me. He was on life support and pretty much in a coma so he couldn't talk to us, but we talked to him. Remembered all the fun things we did. I worked with him on the calf farm he worked at. He was the first person I told that i was bi and he didn't particularly like it but he said as long as I respected everyone it didn't matter he still loved me. We had unfortunately been fighting shortly before he passed away. He was upset I decided to meet my real dad and plus I was still having problems with depression and anger so we had been arguing a lot. I never got to apologize. My family says they know that he knows I'm sorry, but I wish I got the chance to say it. He was my best friend and always there for me. We sang for him before he passed away and told him it was okay he could go now we didn't want to see him in pain anymore. We saw tears run down his face and then he died. A month later and I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter. She is a little over a year now and I am due with my second daughter in April. I think he got to meet them before me though and I'm not Christian, but I do believe I will see him again one day.

 

[N Sperlo]

I'm usually pretty blunt when it comes to the topic of death. I'll avoid that.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe that we are all physically connected. When I die, I know some will be sad for some, but I don't want that. I think after people "die", the last thing the spirit would want is for others to cry over them. Its so sad to see. When I die, I want my body burned up. Whatever my wife wants to do, she knows she can. For all I care, she can throw me into the river, ocean, or a junk yard. I have left that body. There will be no funeral. The memories are all that are left. Instead of having a funeral, I want everyone to have a beer with the funeral money that was not spent. THAT makes me feel good.

Whats my point? You were fighting. That is life. Do you think your grandpa's soul is stuck on that? I doubt it. Whatever you were fighting about was nothing, I'd bet.

My suggestion, don't let it bother you. It sounds like you guys love each other. Just remember that and move along. Your life will go on and he would rather see you happy, right? I've lost my share of family members. None of them would want to see me suffer from the pain of missing them. Of course I miss them, but I have moved on and am happy I did.

I'll keep you in my thoughts tonight and tomorrow. I hope it is an easier day than you expect.

 

[SoonToBeMommy]

Thank you. I do try to think of that, its just hard for me being so close to him. I know he would rather I be happy, but its the only time in the past two years that I cry. And everyone needs to cry sometimes.

 

[marika853]

Cry all you want. Women deal with grief differently then men. It was 5 years on Nov 27 that I lost my beloved husband of 38 years to colorectal cancer. That day fell on Thanksgiving in 2008. Needless to say, that that time of year is Very difficult for me. I have 3 sons and they still will not talk to me about their father.
I went to grief counseling and they told me that everyone grieves differently. It just hurt me that I couldn't talk to my own flesh and blood about the father that told them everyday that he loved them. The father that was there for them All the time.
Sorry, this is still tough for me.
Cry all you want. YOU will feel better!
M