Epilepsy, you have screwed me

[msuder0583]

Well......epilepy has finally screwed me. My seizures and medication side effects have gotten so bad that according to my psychatrist not only do I have the cognitive, memory, etc. side effects but now I have social phobia. So NOW I am on Lexapro and Xanax. I can't be in a room full of people without going into huge panic attacks. I convulse, shake really bad, get hot and chills, my mind races....yaddi yadda. And this really affects my college and personal life. I am stuck in my house. So now I am forced to go in disability and put my college on hold. So close to getting my degree and I love working, but I am so depressed......any advice....please.....

 

[Nakamova]

Have you just started the Lexapro and Xanax? Do they seem to be helping? Maybe they will give you the space to recover your self-confidence. I know it's frustrating to have to delay your studies, but sometimes taking a break can make a huge difference in how you move forward.

Aside from meds, are there other ways you can tackle your depression? Things like daily exercise really can make a difference -- perhaps you can do walks and exercises at home if the prospect of a gym seems too daunting (or too expensive). Is your psychiatrist good at the talking/listening part of therapy? If not, you might want to look for one who is a better fit. And even with the social anxiety, it's important to get out and see other people. Volunteer groups are often welcoming places, and can be understanding about any health issues.

I hope you start to feel better soon -- check in and let us know!

 

[TamB1]

Epilespy is not a fun trip. I am currently enrolled in college, but it has not been easy for me. I also used to suffer from horrible panic attacks before I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I couldn't drive in busy traffic or the thought of going into a room with people would freak me out. The first major panic attack I had my husband called the ambulance because I woke up having one. The paramedics got to our house and my heart rate was 190! I thought I was having heartattack and so did they at first. I had to take paxil for my panic attacks until I had my right temporal lobectomy. You can and will make it through this. Make sure you are with a good neurologist, your panic attacks and seizures are under control. That is how you will get your life better and you will feel 100% better. Be honest with your doctor on how you are feeling and communicate with anyone you can. Talking is the key to getting your depression better. Getting out of your house will help you. If you can't drive, ask a friend or family member to go on a drive, or just go for a short walk (if you live in a safe area - I live in Montana so that's easy for me to do) to get some fresh air and clear your mind. Just remember, we are all on this earth to help one another. Do you trust your psychiatrist's advice about having a social phobia?

 

[msuder0583]

Well I have a home gym, so I do exercise. Gotta stay trim and hot =p Not some muscle head though. Too gross for me. Don't wanna talk Arnold Schwartzenegger(spelling?) back in the Conan the Barbarian days. And going around people is a no no for me. It's sooooooooooooo embarrassing. I try everyday but I always have to take Xanax first. I've been on Lexapro for awhile now. And he also tried some other med but I forget what its called at the moment. I love my psychatrist. He is so understanding and he listens to everything I have to say. From my troubled childhood until now. I wouldn't trade him for any other one. My mom is bi-polar and my dad is extremely strict and in my psych evaulation that he printed out for my disability my doc included those as additives to my problem. So I believe my actual psych problem is in my chemical makeup, so it seems exercise is kinda useless.

Thanks again for the reply

 

[msuder0583]

Thank you also tam for your reply as well, but i exercise everyday and it never helps. You live in Montana. I live Baltimore. I'm likely to get shot going for walks. lol

 

[Nakamova]

Well I have a home gym, so I do exercise. Gotta stay trim and hot =p Not some muscle head though. Too gross for me. Don't wanna talk Arnold Schwartzenegger(spelling?) back in the Conan the Barbarian days. And going around people is a no no for me. It's sooooooooooooo embarrassing. I try everyday but I always have to take Xanax first. I've been on Lexapro for awhile now. And he also tried some other med but I forget what its called at the moment. I love my psychatrist. He is so understanding and he listens to everything I have to say. From my troubled childhood until now. I wouldn't trade him for any other one. My mom is bi-polar and my dad is extremely strict and in my psych evaulation that he printed out for my disability my doc included those as additives to my problem. So I believe my actual psych problem is in my chemical makeup, so it seems exercise is kinda useless.

Thanks again for the reply

Glad to hear you have a great psych doc -- that's very reassuring. My sister suffers from mild bipolar -- for her, exercise is key, even if there's a chemical component. If she misses the gym even one day, her mood starts to sink. I hope you can find something equally effective to make the social anxiety of a problem. Do you have any friends that are easy to hang out with? Maybe you can ask for their help while you get your bearings.

 

[msuder0583]

Yea I do have friends, but the problem with me is when I was youngER I tended to fall into the wrong crowd. And they've yet to get out of it, like I have. So its party, party party. However, there is someone special who I adore at I talk to all the time. Plus I have my sister who has cystic fibrosis and knowing that she doesn't have TOO much longer to live knows how I feel. Part of my depression and social anxiety (according to my psychiatrist) is hereditary so my sister also has social phobia and agoraphobia. She just doesn't treat it. And she is my absolute best friend.

 

[bazpa]

I am so sorry that you are having so much trouble. This does suck! You are young, and should be having fun and enjoying your youth, however as you well know by now life is not fair. I hope you do get the right meds to help you recover, and maybe a few new friends that don't party quite so much. Hopefully things will settle down a bit so you can get back on track with school. I too am finding this whole thing really hard. I will keep you in my thoughts and be cheering you on when you are feeling better.

 

[msuder0583]

Thank you so much. I know I can always count on you guys =)

 

[TamB1]

Well I have a home gym, so I do exercise. Gotta stay trim and hot =p Not some muscle head though. Too gross for me. Don't wanna talk Arnold Schwartzenegger(spelling?) back in the Conan the Barbarian days. And going around people is a no no for me. It's sooooooooooooo embarrassing. I try everyday but I always have to take Xanax first. I've been on Lexapro for awhile now. And he also tried some other med but I forget what its called at the moment. I love my psychatrist. He is so understanding and he listens to everything I have to say. From my troubled childhood until now. I wouldn't trade him for any other one. My mom is bi-polar and my dad is extremely strict and in my psych evaulation that he printed out for my disability my doc included those as additives to my problem. So I believe my actual psych problem is in my chemical makeup, so it seems exercise is kinda useless.

Thanks again for the reply

Good job for exercising. When you keep your body healthy, your mind is much healthier. Your right on not overdoing it by being a musclehead....that is just not normal for anyone. You would have to add steroids to your body to do that and then you would be adding more problems to your mind. I had to take Xanax for a short while. How do you sleep every night? By that I mean are you sleeping restfully and how do you think your REM sleep is? That will mess a persons physc up if your not getting enough. We all need to have REM sleep to be a peaceful, operating person. I wasn't at one point and I was thinking some crazy stuff that a normal person wouldn't be thinking. My step dad was extremely strict and physically abusive towards me. So in some ways, I may be able to relate to you. My biological dad has had several breakdowns. My step dad, mother, and dad are alcoholics/drug users. I tried alcohol in my younger years but only for a brief time. It's not worth it and it adds to the problems. Living a healthy lifestyle will make you feel better and keep your counseling sessions. I will keep checking on you. I wish you much happiness and WE all care!

 

[gigi]

msuder

Hi -
sorry to hear life has you by the short hairs right now. Psychiatrist primarily gives out meds. I agree that maybe a counselor may be in order to work on life skills and how to deal with your present situation. Unfortunately, side affects go with every medication. Anti-depressants are notorious for increasing appetite and decreasing sex drive, which might depress you in and of itself! Those and being on AED will give you short and long term side affects. Having to deal with this annoying, and heart wrenching condition for over 40 years has got me to this conclusion - exercise, diet and relaxation are my saving grace.
Also, depending on the benzos to get you through every social confrontation will have you dependent on so many levels. Sounds like you are proactive about wanting to get some degree of normalcy so you can finish school, what about on-line courses while you battle the present storm?